


The Webs We Weave

by The_man_with_the_key



Series: JimJam and the Tiger [2]
Category: Sherlock - Fandom, Sherlock BBC, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Addiction, Anal Sex, Angst, Cancer, Dom/sub, Drug Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Murder, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Psychopath, Rape, Rough Sex, Self Harm, Sex Toys, Suicide, Torture, attempted suicide, bipolar, sucidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:17:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9573215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_man_with_the_key/pseuds/The_man_with_the_key
Summary: Years after Jim and Sebastian met, the empire had grown into something beautiful. Nothing could compare to it. However Jim gets bored easily, and therefore games must be played. Thankfully Sebastian is on hand to make sure he doesn't do anything too insane...Is a part of a series but can be read alone!





	1. Together

**Author's Note:**

> The warnings from the last one apply here, probably more than they do there. A lot of things will be mentioned from the last book. This doesn't follow straight on from where we left off. 
> 
> Sebastian is probably gonna be a prick in this. Idk. Jim will most definitely be a prick. Just enjoy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is annoyed about something and Sebastian has to put up with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts on this guys. Idk about third person but I'll probably write most of the chapters like ages this story easier and works better.
> 
> Twitter: JimMoriartyxo  
> Instagram: JimMoriartyxo  
> Tumblr:Jim-Moriartyxo

Jim and Sebastian had known each other for three years, and things hadn't got much better. They spent their days killing and torturing. The empire had grown into something of fear, the thing of nightmares. They were the most powerful and dangerous men in England and therefore the biggest threat to society, and yet; no one knew a thing about them. 

Jim Moriarty. The spider that created the web, his dark eyes that stared down on you as he prepared your death. His mind constantly thinking up new ways to instill fear in people's hearts and tear down their dreams. His smile that would haunt you until the day you died, like a Cheshire Cat spying on you from the shadows. His voice, no matter how ridiculous, instilled dread into anyone who would hear it.

And Sebastian Moran. The ex-colonel, the disgraced soldier, the best sniper in the business. The man who showed emotions and showed that he was loyal, which only made him more terrifying. The way his eyes would light up as he saw the blood running down your face and his lips would twitch into a smirk, as his orders were announced. Each punch or kick or shot delivered would cause him great pleasure. The sickening laugh that echoed as he went about doing his bosses dirty work. He was the man you did not want to hear the name of, for once you heard his name, you knew you were not going to survive. 

Men would walk the streets in fear of those who worked for the duo. Their heads down and collars turned up to avoid being seen as they moved through the shadows at night. They watched each corner and prayed each day would not be their last. Their worlds being torn apart from the paralysing fear that the magpie would appear on their doorstep. 

And throughout the whole of England, their whole empire, the whole underworld, there was only one man who could survive being around the magpie. One man who could stand up to the magpie and not be killed for it. Only one man Jim Moriarty would actually listen to. Sebastian Moran...

•••

"Where the fuck is my phone!" Jim screamed, almost falling over the carpet spread over the floor. Sebastian sighed, reaching out his hand to the coffee table and picking up the small device the criminal had been looking for.

"Exactly where you left it, boss." He groaned, holding it up for him to see. Jim rolled his eyes, moving towards the blond and snatching the phone from his hand, and quickly unlocking it. Sebastian ignored his presence, continuing to watch the latest football match that he'd missed, after doing another job for the mastermind himself. 

Jim typed quickly as he tried to put the finishing touches on his latest scheme. A Chinese smugglers ring that had been trying to get into England for months now. The perfect way to start branching out. "Get your feet off the couch, Moran! And go get a shower." He scoffed once he had finished. 

Sebastian looked up at him, rolling his eyes and ignored him. He was stressed. Jim always got like this when he was stressed, he would never admit it though. He would develop OCD and start nitpicking at every little thing. Last time it was the way the windows were slightly too far apart. Needless to say that house was scrapped and they moved into a new apartment. 

Jim grew more annoyed at the disobedience of his sniper, and moved to stand in front of him. "Moran! Shower!" He yelled, hitting him over the head and turning off the television. Sebastian sat up within seconds, grabbing Jim's wrist and pulling him down onto his lap. "Moran! Get off of me!" He screamed, struggling against the stronger mans arms which were now wrapped tightly around him.

"Nope. Not until you calm down." He growled, holding his employer tighter. "You're stressed and it's annoying. So calm the fuck down!" Jim continued to struggle, his anger only getting worse as Sebastian held him tighter. 

"Let's kill something." He announced, as he stopped moving. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him. This is not how it usually went. Jim looked back at him and smirked, "Let's kill someone." He repeated. 

Sebastian stayed silent, Jim was not usually like this. He would scream, then he would threaten him, then they'd fight. Sebastian would then pin him down and Jim would threaten him again. Finally he'd calm down an hour later after Sebastian told him his suit was probably ruined and they'd need to get him a new one. Or if it was really bad, he'd lock him in the spare room and call Richard.

"Who are we gonna kill?" Sebastian asked after a few minutes of silence. Jim struggled a little more, turning around to sit sideways on Sebastian's lap. 

"Let's kill Sherrinford Holmes." Jim grinned. Sebastian's blood ran cold as the name was mentioned, his skin going pale and filling his whole body with dread. Sebastian swallowed, and picked his boss boss up, carrying him through the house and into the basement. Jim struggled, and screamed as he realised what was happening, attempting to claw at Sebastian's arms. 

"I'm calling Richard." He informed the smaller man, placing him down in the spare room they had down there. It was empty except for some carpet and a blanket, with a small pile of pillows in the corner. Sebastian and Richard had designed it specifically for these moments and had made sure it could only be locked and unlocked from outside. 

Jim continued to scream as the colonel placed him down on the cushions, quickly turning and leaving the room. Jim banged his fists against the steel, his voice muffled as he shouted threats through the door. 

Sebastian slid down to sit on the floor. It killed him every time he had to do this. The first time he and Richard had done it, they found Jim three hours later finally calm but panicking in the corner. Tears streamed from his eyes and he had clawed at his skin until he bled. 

When Richard had finally got him to talk about it, Jim had told him he didn't want to be alone. Therefore they had placed a small window in the door, with a cage around it to stop him from smashing the glass. 

Sebastian would usually sit on the floor, just below the window until he calmed down. Jim knew he was there, and every so often Sebastian would knock on the glass to reassure him. It also meant they could make sure he wasn't trying to hurt himself. 

"Richard? It's Sebastian." He spoke once the younger twin had answered the phone. Richard sighed on the other end. "He's having one of those days. There's something not right though." 

Jim continued to scream and Sebastian could hear as he struggled to breath, reaching up and knocking on the glass window. "It started out like usual, just nitpicking, and when I pulled him down to calm him, he suddenly stopped." He began to explain. Richard was confused, that was a good thing wasn't it? "Then he mentioned that he wanted to kill someone."

"Who..." Richard struggled to speak, this wasn't normal. He understood that now.

"Sherrinford Holmes." Sebastian informed him, as Jim began to get quieter. He was no longer screaming, instead just banging against the door. Sebastian stood up, looking through the window and finding Jim sat with back against the door, hitting his fist against it every so often. "I put him in the basement, he's calming down now, but I'm worried about him." 

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Richard panicked, hanging up the phone. I placed mine on the floor, watching as Jim made his way over the pillows in the far corner of the room and wrapped himself up in the blanket. The man had no sympathy, empathy. He didn't feel happy or sad. He didn't even feel love or hate. He just felt anger. Until he got in that room. Then he was vulnerable. 

"Richard's on his way." Sebastian spoke into the microphone they had installed, switching on the mic in the room as well. Jim stayed quiet, curling up further into the blanket. "Do you want anything?" 

"No..." He mumbled, his eyes fluttering closed. "Yes... Will you put some music on?" He asked after a moment. Sebastian gave a small smile. It was wrong, but he liked this version of Jim. The version on he saw. Even Richard didn't see this version, he put a mask on for Richard. This wasn't an act though, this was Jim. Exhausted and broken, but beautiful in every way. 

Sebastian grabbed his phone, searching through the playlist he had made for this situation, putting on a song he knew Jim loved. The theiving magpie, the song that made his name. He played it when torturing people, on a loop for days and days. He liked it and didn't mind listening to it through the CCTV footage, but for those who were in that room, listening to the music at such a defeating volume, it was horrifying. 

Jim hummed along, his whole body relaxing into the pillows. "When is Richard gonna be here?" He asked. 

Sebastian checked the clock, "Ten minutes." Jim nodded his head, listening to the music and continuing to calm himself down. Sebastian watched, his heart breaking as he saw the pain Jim went through every time this happened. He loved Jim. He had finally admitted it to himself six months ago, and was struggling to cope. 

Richard walked into the room a few minutes later, and Jim composed himself, moving to the middle of the room and sitting with his legs crossed and the blanket discarded. Sebastian paused the music, turning to face the twin and switched off the microphones quickly. "He's calm, but be careful." He told him, unlocking the door. 

"Hey, Jim? Is it okay for me to join you?" He asked, standing at the door frame and waiting for an answer. Jim nodded and watched closely as his brother entered the room, before he shook his head. Richard moved back again and stood in the door frame, a routine they went through every time this happened. 

They waited a few minutes, his eyes watching the younger man as he fought with himself to let him into the room, when his eyes darted to Sebastian. Richard raised an eyebrow as Sebastian gave him a puzzled look. "Seb..." He mumbled, looking down at the floor. "Can I talk to you first?" 

Sebastian looked at Richard, almost as if asking permission, when he nodded. Sebastian cautiously moved into the room, sitting in front of Jim. Richard closed the door, covering the glass window like Sebastian had done for them, and made sure the microphones were switched off. 

"What's up, boss?" He asked. Jim stood up, walking over to the blanket and picking it up. Sebastian gave him another puzzled look and watched closely as he walked back over to him, sitting in Sebastian's lap and wrapping the blanket around them both, moving Sebastian's arms around his waist and resting his head on the snipers chest. 

"I don't want to talk to Richard yet." He mumbled, curling up and closing his eyes. 

"Why don't you just tell him that?" Sebastian wondered aloud, looking down at the smaller man. Jim shrugged and pulled the blanket closer to him. 

"I don't want him to see me like this." He mumbled. Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows and held him close, as he felt Jim starting to fidget slightly. 

"He's your twin brother... I'm sure he's seen you like this before, boss." Sebastian argued, still not understanding his employers way of thinking, "Surely you'd prefare him to see you like this than your employee."

Jim shook his head, and Sebastian could hear his breathing growing steady. "I trust you... He'll try and help me, you'll listen." He mumbled, as he slowly began to fall asleep. Sebastian nodded in understanding and continued to hold the criminal in his arms. "Richard has good intentions but I don't want help... I'm fine. I just need someone to listen and to argue with me... Someone who won't just tell me what I want to hear..." 

"Okay, Jim. If that's what you want, then I'll continue to do that." He smiled, and took one of Sebastian's hands in his, lacing their fingers together. 

"Thank you, Seb." He whispered, and fell asleep. Sebastian nodded, his lips curling up into a small smile. Jim had done this two other times in the past, the first; he was drunk and had just found out that Richard had been attacked. He had wanted to kill Severin, until he found out he had been hospitalised with a bullet wound. 

Jim was panicking, he didn't know what to do, all he did was cry and scream. For weeks he was constantly causing arguments and fights and had been locked in the basement for twelve hours a day. Sebastian struggled as well and by the end of the week Jim realised how bad his sniper was really feeling, having not been able to be with his brother. 

When Sebastian opened the door Jim wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him to the pile of pillows, getting him to sit down, and curling up in his lap, wrapping them both in the blanket. They stayed that way for eighteen hours, watching films on Jim's laptop and sitting in silence. 

Richard had found them the next day, Severin stood beside them as they saw the two sleeping men. That was the same day Richard announced he was going to be a father. A long term girlfriend of his was pregnant. No one had ever seen Jim look so happy, not genuinely like he had been that day. Unfortunately the mother died in childbirth, but the baby was born healthy. A little girl, which he named Layla. 

Jim loved her, in his own emotionless way. The day she was born he went overboard on gifts. Dresses and teddys and toys and pyjamas. He was constantly trying to find time to spend with her and Richard had even trusted Jim enough to let her spend a few nights with him.

Then someone found out about her, threatened they would kill her. Jim stopped spending time with her. He avoided spending any time with her at all, afraid she would be hurt or killed and it would all be his fault. That was the second time Sebastian had done this with him. 

He got called away from his job, sent to kill the man who had threatened him and when he came home he found Jim crying in the basement. He had locked himself in the room willingly, taking his laptop and phone with him, watching small videos he had of the two of them together. Sebastian held him tightly for almost two days, keeping him close at all times. The only privacy he had was in the bathroom, and they even slept in the same bed. Jim was destroyed. 

This was the third. And he had no idea what had brought it on... Richard switched the microphone on, the quiet buzz echoing through the room. "Everything okay?" He asked quietly. Sebastian looked back at the window in the door; still covered.

"He's asleep... It's really bad, Rich. I don't know what's brought it on though." Sebastian whispered, rocking the smaller man slightly, as he started to stir at the quiet talking. 

"I'll unlock the door okay, I've got to get home, it's Layla's birth..." He trailed off, and Sebastian heard him gasp quietly. Layla's first birthday. 

"You go home, Rich. When he wakes up I'll talk to him and see if I can convince him to see her..." He suggested, resting his forehead on top of Jim's head. Of course that's what's wrong, he's not stressed. Well he is. That's not why he's upset though. "Or I'll find another way to fix this..." 

Richard understood why he didn't go near his daughter. He understood it was her own protection, and he understood that it tore his brother apart. "Okay... Please get him to come over. And I want you there too. There's something I need to tell him." Sebastian hummed in reply as Richard clicked the door open, resting a small brick between the door and the doorframe, so they could get out again. 

"He'll be there... I promise." Sebastian spoke quietly, as Jim began to stir again, frowning in his sleep and starting to whimper slightly. Sebastian could hear Richards footsteps growing quieter as he sat there, holding the younger man to his chest. "Jim..." He whispered, noticing the distress he was in, and shaking him slightly. 

Jim woke up with a start, quickly relaxing against Sebastian and looking up at him. "Richards gone... I need to ask you something though." Sebastian told him, as Jim moved off of him, their fingers still laced together. Jim nodded allowing him to speak, still exhausted and vulnerable. "Are you angry because it's Layla's birthday today and you refuse to see her?" 

Jim's eyes widened as Sebastian asked the question. "I do not refuse to see her!" He argued, but it was weak and Sebastian could hear the pain in his voice. "You know why I can't see her."

"Jim she'll be okay. Severin is living with them, and he's just as good as I am. He'll keep her safe." Sebastian argued. Jim shook his head, looking down at the floo, his eyes filling with tears. "Richard wants you to be there. He has something to tell you and said to go see him." 

"I can't! What if someone-" 

"Jim!" Sebastian yelled, cutting him off. Jim looked up at him. "This is your brother and your niece were talking about. It's her first birthday, you are going." 

"Mora-" 

"No. You do not get a say in this. I will be there and Severin will be there, if anyone tries anything at all, they will not survive." Sebastian argued. Jim sighed and nodded. He wasn't going to give up an opportunity to see Layla. "Good. Now go change, we have to go shopping before we see her." 

"If anything goes wrong, Moran." He started, as he stood up and began to leave the room. Sebastian hummed in reply following closely, not trusting Jim to not lock him in... Again.


	2. Layla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Layla's first birthday and all Jim wants to do is run. But what does Richard want to tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote two little mini fics to go with this series so please, please, please go check them out. Don't forget to comment and like though!

Jim went over board with the gifts, bags upon bags full of toys and clothes, each specifically chosen by Jim by their 'level of adorableness'. Sebastian had opted to just buying a small doll for the child and the newest Disney film, despite his bosses disapproving eyes and begging for him to buy her something better.

The car sped down the roads easily, a stark contrast to the almost unmovable traffic of the city. Sebastian's mind racing as he assessed every possibly situation that could come about as they were with the toddler. Every escape route being thought of and every hiding spot remembered. His hands clasping the wheel firmly as he tried to map out a route to get everyone to safety if they were already in the house. A plan to keep Jim safe and alive, while protecting the rest of the family. Especially the little girl.

His mind was still racing with tactics and overly thought out plans of survival when Jim's voice broke through the silence of the car. "Can't we just drop this stuff off and leave?" Jim whined as they got closer to the house. 

"Jim you are going to see your niece," Sebastian sighed. This was the fourth time they'd had this conversation since they left the house, and although he knew Jim had a good reason to want to avoid his brother's child, he couldn't deal with another meltdown. "We'll stay for an hour, and then we'll go home." He bargained, pulling up outside the younger twins house.

Sebastian was nervous as he slowly climbed out of the car. Jim was changeable. His personality changed quicker than the English weather, just because he was outside his niece's house didn't mean he wouldn't hesitate to shoot someone between the eyes.

Jim looked through the window, wrapping his arms around himself. "What if someone finds us here?" He mumbled, as the sniper opened the door for him. Sebastian placed a hand on the smaller man's shoulder, squeezing it gently. His eyes were full of sympathy and he could see the eternal battle the man was having, his thoughts whirling in his head as he tried to convince himself that everything would be okay. 

"I've got a plan for every possibly scenario, Jim. Now come on, Layla's waiting, and apparently she can talk now!" Jim took a deep breath looking up at the blond. He cautiously stepped out of the car, looking around and collecting the bags of gifts. "You go ahead, I'll get these." Sebastian said, shooing him away. Jim rubbed the back of his neck, slowly walking towards the front door of his childhood home. 

He hesitated as he reached the door, his hand hovering just inches away from the wood. The street was silent, not a person in sight and it only made him more nervous. In a sick way he wanted someone to attack him, to cause a problem so he had a reason to never come back. So he had a reason to never feel this way again. Eurus had tried to destroy all emotion inside of him, but when it came to his brother, his niece, Sebastian... He couldn't switch it off.

Jim finally worked up the courage to knock, after a quick glance towards Sebastian. Severin answered the door within seconds, raising an eyebrow when he found Jim stood there. "H-hey..." Jim mumbled, looking up at him, "Where's Richy?" Severin nodded towards the living room, scared to say anything in case Jim blew up at him. "Thanks..." He whispered, pushing past him.

Sebastian made his way towards the door, the bags hitting against his legs. "Alright, Sev?" He asked, as he got to the door, placing the bags down and turning to lock the car. Severin nodded, wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulders and smiling at him.

"You actually got him here?" Severin stated, but it was more of a question as if he couldn't believe he had just seen the Irish man.Sebastian nodded picking up the gifts again and shifting them into the hallway. Severin helped, before leading his twin into the other room, his eyes falling on Jim instantly. "Want anything to drink?" He asked, trying to put the man at ease.

Jim was sitting in the corner of the room, curled up in an arm chair, hugging his knees to his chest. His eyes were still slightly bloodshot from earlier and he looked exhausted. "Tea, please..." He mumbled, looking around the room, his eyes constantly darting to the window.

Sebastian sighed, sitting down on the opposite side of the room, starting up a conversation with Richard as Layla looked around at the now unfamiliar men. Her large brown eyes glistening with interest as she stared at Jim. 

Richard ran his hand through her hair absentmindedly, as she opened and closed her mouth, looking like a goldfish as she tried to find the words.

"Jim..." A quiet voice spoke up. Jim's head snapped up, a puzzled look on his face. "Jim..." It spoke again. Sebastian and Richard fell silent, as they looked at the young girl, a smile etched onto their faces. Jim seemed to relax within seconds, unravelling himself. "Jim!" She demanded, reaching her hands out towards her uncle and making a grabbing motion. 

Richard tilted his head to the side, placing her down on the floor. "I suppose she wants you?" He spoke with caution, watching the older twin closely to see what he would do, as she slowly stumbled towards him. Jim's eyes lit up as the girl made her way over to him, tripping over her own feet but managing to stay up right. Sebastian could see the joy in his eyes as he picked her up, resting her on his lap. 

"Hi there, princess." He grinned, his whole body language changing and the previous anxiousness gone. Layla giggled, as he picked the girl up, cuddling her close. Richard shot Sebastian a look, both of them grinning at each other as they watched Jim with the young girl. "Happy Birthday." He whispered, kissing the top of her head. Layla stood up, carefully balancing on Jim's thighs, and wrapping her arms around his neck. 

"Jim!" She cheered as Severin walked in from the kitchen, stopping in his tracks as he saw the criminal and the toddler together. He placed the drinks down on the table, and signalled for his brother to follow him. Layla stayed with Jim, sitting on his knee and playing with his fingers, tapping each one and babbling. 

The Moran twins made their way out to the kitchen, Sebastian leaning against the counter as Severin searched through the drawers. "Still haven't admitted it then?" He laughed, moving around the kitchen. Sebastian raised his eyebrow at him, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Admitted what?" He asked, thinking his brother had gone mad. Could this family really be turning them that insane his brother was imagining things. 

"That you love him." He spoke so calmly, as he turned to face him, candles in hand. Sebastian choked, feeling as though someone had just punched him in the stomach. "Oh come on, Seb. It's obvious. For God's sake you haven't took your eyes off him since you got here." 

"Excuse me for doing my job, the man did threaten to kill me several times this morning and tried to smash a lamp over my head." Sebastian barked at his mirror image. Severin shook his head and opened the fridge, pulling out a small birthday cake. 

"It's not the first lamp he's thrown at you." He sighed, "Just admit it Seb. You'll feel better once you do." 

Sebastian shook his head, and turned to head back into the living room. "I'm sure death _will be wonderful._ " He laughed, walking through the door and heading back to the chair he was previous sat in. Richard was watching Jim with the child, the two of them laughing as Jim made stupid faces at her, talking in different accents and making up little stories.

"I didn't know she still remembered you..." Richard almost whispered, as Layla slipped of the arm of the chair and into Jim's lap, his eyes trained on his daughter. Jim gave a sad smile and nodded, nuzzling his face into her neck and making her laugh again. "Well I did say I have something to tell you, so I guess now is as good a time as ever." Richard shrugged, as Severin entered the room, sitting down beside the brunette. 

Jim groaned and rolled his eyes, bouncing his knee and tickling the young girl. "Really? Him? Of all people." He scoffed, placing a kiss on the girls head. Sebastian glared at his boss, before giving both Richard and Severin an apologetic look, although he had no idea what he was going on about. "At least she'll have two parents." Jim added, seeing his guards face. Sebastian looked around at them, allowing the information to sink in before it finally clicked. 

"Oh!" He almost yelled, Richard and Severin nodded, the younger giggling quietly. "Well I can't say I didn't see it coming." He shrugged, glaring at his twin now instead, "But if you ever tell me the two of you are married I will disown you. I am not being a part of that idiot's family." Sebastian teased, pointing to his employer as Layla plopped a tiara on his head. Severin shook his head, wrapping his arm around Richard's shoulders. 

"Richy we're getting married, I've always wanted to be an only child." He joked. Sebastian laughed, turning his attention to his boss as he fixed the plastic crown. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, both of them smiling at each other.

"Oh so I have to have the Moran brother in my family instead?" He asked looking up, raising his eyebrow at his bodyguard. Layla hit Jim's arm, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. Jim looked down at her, feigning a hurt face, as Sebastian bit back a laugh. 

"Don't be mean to papa!" She scolded. Richard smiled at his daughter, leaning against the Moran. His own little family. 

"I'm sorry, princess. I'm sure _papa's_ great." He smiled, gritting his teeth at the word, and tapping her nose. Layla nodded and stood up again, wobbling on Jim's knee and hugged him. "How about you go get Sebastian to bring your presents in?" Jim laughed, putting her on the floor. Layla nodded enthusiastically and carefully ran over to Sebastian, tapping his knee. "You heard the girl, off you go." He smirked. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and stood up, ruffling her hair. "Wait here then," He sighed, walking off to collect the bags he had left in the hall. Layla sat in the middle of the room, and Jim joined her, wrapping his arm around her waist. "So what do you want first?" He asked, reappearing with eight bags hanging from his arms. 

Richard narrowed his eyes at his brother, crossing his arms over his chest. "Jim. I've told you about spoiling her!" He growled. Jim waved his hand, dismissing him and watching as Layla's face lit up with joy. His own eyes showing the happiness the felt. 

It was nerve-wracking seeing Jim so nice, the way he'd smile and laugh and be a genuine person. Everything about this scene was terrifying the way he managed to seem so genuine, although only two days ago he was shooting someone in the head and making illegal trades. For a man who never showed emotion, who people didn't even think had any emotions, he showed an awful lot of love for the young girl.

"I did try telling him... Do you know how hard it is to drag him out of a Disney shop though?" Sebastian sighed, placing the gifts on the floor. The young girl look stunned, as though she didn't know what to do, her eyes wide and a large grin on her face. Layla looked at Jim, asking for permission. He nodded, and watched as she dived into the pile of toys and clothes. 

Everything was strewn over the floor, the dolls, the clothes, the films and the tiaras. Everything on display as she looked it all over. Richard looked slightly annoyed, he didn't want his child to be spoiled by Jim. He didn't want it to seem like he bought her things because he felt guilty. He knew how Jim got.

"Daddy look! Nemo!" She yelled, holding up the fish plushie. Richard nodded, laughing as she hugged it tight to her chest. "Nemo!" She shouted, shoving it in Jim's face. The criminal laughed, keeping his eyes on the young girl, as she waddled over to Sebastian. "Sebstian!" She shouted tugging on his shirt, and struggling with his name slightly. Jim chuckled, as his bodyguard leaned down, being attacked with the fish toy. "Sebstian! Nemo!" 

"Yes, Sebstian. Nemo." The mastermind teased. Sebastian glared at him, whispering something to Layla before giving an innocent smile to his employer. Jim furrowed his eyebrows but shrugged it off, turning to his brother. "She's pretty smart since she's only one, are you sure she's yours and not mine?" Jim asked, tilting his head to the side. 

Richard shook his head and gave an amused smile, "Shut up, Jim. I was more advanced than you were at her age." His brother scoffed, as Layla suddenly jumped on Jim, starting to tickle him. Jim fell to the ground, laughing and 'struggling' to get away. "That's what you get for being mean." Richard pouted, leaning further into Severin, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Eventually the young girl stopped, falling on her back in laughter as Jim begged her to stop, his sides hurting. Layla quickly calmed down, pulling out more gifts, this time giving the clothes to Richard to fold rather than throwing them on the floor. "Jim how much did these cost!" Richard asked, his eyes going wide as he saw the designer tags. Jim waved his hand in dismissal once again, not caring about how much he spent. This was his niece, the only family he had other than his brother, so of course he was going to spoil her.

"Money is just a piece of paper and price is but a number," He smiled, and stood up sitting beside Richard. "It's not like I can't afford it, Richy. Besides, take it as my way of an apology for not seeing her in so long." His voice broke as he spoke, looking at the toddler with sad eyes and regret as she tried to fit three crowns on her head at once. 

"It's okay, Jim. I understand." His brother spoke softly and pulled him into a hug, holding him as he fought back tears. He'd missed a whole year of her life. A year of this beautiful girl's life even after promising to always help Richard. Now he had Severin though. He didn't need him, and it was thanks to Jim they had met. However, they never would have known any of them if it weren't for their father. Maybe good things could come from the bad, but Jim didn't deserve anything good. This wasn't something Jim deserved at all.

"Jim! Happy!" Layla demanded, climbing onto the couch and cuddling up to him, "Why sad?" She asked, placing a sloppy kiss to his cheek. Jim smiled pulling her close and rocking her back and forth. 

"Not sad." He mumbled, forcing himself to smile. "We have to go though, princess. I promise I'll come see you again soon." Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows and gave Jim a disapproving look. He wouldn't lie to her would he? He had been reluctant to see her at all today, and now he was promising to visit again soon.

"Jim..." He began to say, but the criminal glared at him, cutting him off. 

"You can come stay with me any time okay? You just tell your dad and I'll be there." He smiled, kissing her nose. Richard nodded in approval and picked his daughter up. "I mean it Richy, any time. I'll be... I'll see her more." He smiled, looking up at the younger twin.

"I know, Jim. Maybe it'll mean less time spent in the basement?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Jim laughed and shook his head, looking over the sniper. 

"The world will run out of lamps before that happens." He joked, "She makes me a better person though. I'd never have kids myself, but I'll happily steal yours." Richard rolled her eyes but smirked, as Layla pulled her uncle into one last hug. "Well anyways, come on Sebastian." Jim said standing up, his voice going back to normal and mask returning to his face.

"You sure you guys don't want to stay?" Richard asked, getting up and walking the two men to the door. Jim shook his head, nervously looking around before stepping outside. 

"No... I have- We have work to do." Jim smiled, giving his niece one last kiss on the forehead and hugging his brother. "I will come by next week. I expect cookies and plenty of Disney films though." He laughed, "And make sure that Moran of yours takes care of you both, just because you're now... _in love_ , doesn't mean I won't hesitate to kill him if either of you get hurt."

"I will, Jim. Don't you worry." Severin called from the living room. "You gotta make sure your bodyguard is safe though, this is a two way deal." 

"Shut up, Severin. I make the rules. You wouldn't do anything to me if he got hurt anyways, he may have your heart Severin, but I own you." He growled, Sebastian watched his boss closely, making sure he didn't try and attack his twin. "Lets go, Sebastian." He ordered, turning to head towards the car. 

Richard grabbed the taller man's wrist, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Please keep him safe, Sebastian... I don't know what's going on in that head of his but it isn't good." Richard begged, as Layla ran off to Severin. "I know you care about him a lot, and although he doesn't show it, he cares about you." 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, obviously Severin had been talking to Richard... "A job is a job." He groaned, rubbing his eyes and hoping he would drop the subject. Richard shook his head, looking behind the sniper to his twin, now waiting impatiently as he typed away on his phone. 

"Whatever gets you through the day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want me to elaborate on anything, please tell me, I'll be sure to include it later on. I have an awful memory so I'll probably forget if you don't.


	3. Games.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim like games, Sebastian likes to annoy him. What's a better way to do it than to win?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment and like, please! <3
> 
> See end credits for the translation... All translations are from google, so they might be wrong.

Jane next morning Jim was bored. Sebastian had refused to let him work after the previous days incident and therefore had him locked inside the house. "Seb!" He whined for the thirteenth time in twenty minutes. 

"For gods sake Jim. I said no. Go read a book or something." He growled, trying to watch the football match. Jim shook his head, tugging on the snipers sleeve and trying to get his attention. He'd been begging for Sebastian to play a game with him, or to go kill someone and Seb was fed up. 

"But Seb I'm bored!" This was the same conversation they had every other week. Jim would complain, Seb would say no, Jim would piss him off, then they'd play a game. It was Jim's favourite game though. Trying to get a reaction from his sniper. Knowing he would win every time. 

"Jim please, at least wait until the end of the match. It's fifteen minutes away from finishing." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. Jim frowned crossing his arms over his chest. "Seriously Jim. Fifteen minutes won't kill you." 

"It could. For all you know there could be a sniper waiting for me outside that window." He said, making dramatic hand gestures. Sebastian laughed and shook his head, glancing towards the window, more as a reflex than anything. 

"Well if there is, can he hurry up and put me out of this misery?" He teased, smirking at the consulting criminal. Jim fell of the couch, clutching his heart and landing with a thud. "Oh that's great, no more Jimjam to annoy me." He laughed, ignoring the man-child on the ground. 

"You wound me Sebastian, you really do." He laughed, sitting up and leaning against the couch. "So who's winning?" He asked, trying to work out the game. Although he knew a lot, sports was not something he ever took any interest in, and therefore he was awful at understanding them. 

Sebastian shushed him, hitting him over the head. "Shut up and just watch will you." He sighed, Jim growled at him, but he was in a good mood today. Visiting the toddler yesterday had done wonders for the man. "The ones in red are winning, and we want the ones in yellow to win, got it?" He explained after a few minutes. 

"What if I want the ones in red to win?" He smirked, looking up at the blond. 

"Then the sniper outside will be out of a job because I'll have killed you instead." He smirked. Jim huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and pouted. "And before you ask, no I'm not explaining what's going on. I did that last week."

"I wasn't listening last week." He whined, standing up and sitting back on the couch, his knees tucked under his chin. "Besides there's only a few more minutes left, I couldn't care less." He shrugged, his eyes dancing over the screen as he followed the players up and down the pitch. 

"What game are we playing?" He sighed, as they missed the goal, frowning at the television. Jim shrugged again, jumping up and disappearing up the stairs, the sound of shuffling and boxes falling echoing from the cupboard. Sebastian groaned, as a small squeak emitted from the criminal, as everything fell on top of him. "I'm not cleaning that up!" He called up the stairs to him. 

"Shut up, Sebastian! We're playing chess." He growled, skipping down the stairs, "And cards! And cluedo!" 

The blond rolled his eyes as the match finished, his team loosing three/six. "Do we have to play so many games?" He asked, looking towards him. Jim nodded, with a large grin, plopping the boxes on the coffee table that they had now replaced, opting for a wooden one this time, more so he wouldn't break another one... too much. 

Sebastian stood up, walking off to the kitchen, grabbing a can of beer and a glass of whiskey for his employer. It might have only been one o'clock in the afternoon, but he was not playing kids games sober. Jim was quickly setting up the pieces, mumbled randomly to himself. 

"Ar Bóthar Raglan ar Lá Fhómhair, Chonaic mé a céad agus bhí a fhios. Go mbeadh cuid gruaige dorcha weave a snare." He sang to himself. Sebastian wasn't too good at Irish, he had been learning it before he left the army, more as a hobby since there hadn't been much else to do. However this wasn't something familiar to him. Over the last few years, he figured he should try and pick it up again, continue teaching himself since Jim spoke so fluently when he was bored or upset, but he hadn't bothered up to now. 

"Black or white?" He asked, handing him the glass and sitting the opposite side of the table, crossing his legs and giving him a small smile. Jim looked up at him, placing the last few pawns on the board and spinning it around. 

"White goes with my suit." He laughed, picking up one of the pawns and moving it forward two spaces. Sebastian knew Jim had memorised every strategy to win, and he was better than most chess professionals, so he knew he probably wouldn't win, but of course... he was up for the challenge like always. 

"I'm probably wasting my time playing this..." He laughed, moving the black pieces, deciding to only move his first piece one square, hoping it would give him enough time to work out a way to beat him, before he destroyed him. 

Jim smirked, almost as though he knew this would be Sebastian's first move, and had already mapped out his winning stance. "No sería tan arrogante si fuera tú. He estado practicando." Sebastian laughed, as Jim narrowed his eyes, moving the next pawn into place, beside the first. 

Sebastian assessed the board, taking his time as Jim watched his facial features, thinking up every possible move Sebastian could make. Within seconds both of them had moved their knights into position and were smirking at each other. "Sigues siendo horrible en este juego, Moran." 

The sniper laughed, moving another pawn, his eyes focused on Jim as his face fell slightly, obviously not anticipating the move. Although he quickly recovered, but he did take longer to choose his next move, eventually opting to move another pawn himself. This time he changed his mind though, shaking his head and deciding to go for the bishop, moving it several spaces. 

Sebastian did the same, feeling a little more confident in his game. Jim was second guessing himself and that only meant one thing; he was loosing. He thought hard, his eyes narrowed and forehead creased as he tried to think of his next move, quickly moving his queen forwards one space. 

The game was easier than Sebastian had thought and he had to fight back the smile threatening his lips as he moved a third pawn forwards. Jim continued to frown, resting his arms on the table and looking the board over, his eyes scanning over each piece. Another pawn. "Испуганный?" Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow and mirroring his move. 

"T suas." He snapped. Sebastian knew that one well, Jim used it a lot. 'Shut up.' He laughed, miming zipping his lips shut as the mastermind moved his other knight. Sebastian thought for a moment before doing the same, sipping his drink. He was enjoying this game, watching as Jim struggled to make his next move. His tongue licking over his bottom lip as he contemplated his options. 

He moved his bishop now, sacrificing it to Sebastian's. This seemed part of his plan though, especially since he hadn't thrown the pieces everywhere yet. And with one swift motion his queen had taken Sebastian's bishop. Thankfully unable to be taken. 

Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows, moving his remaining bishop to the opposite side of the board. Thing's seemed to be going Jim's way again as a faint smile appeared on his lips, moving another pawn. Sebastian copied the move, and Jim moved his king two spaces left. 

Seb moved his queen in front of his king. 

Jim moved the king one space left again. 

Seb moved another pawn. 

Jim moved his Knight beside the King. 

Seb moved his king to the left. 

Jim moved the knight again. 

Seb took Jim's pawn. 

Jim took Seb's pawn with his rook. 

Another pawn moved. 

Rook moves back. 

Seb moves his Knight.

Jim began to get nervous again. He was stuck for moves, his eyes dancing over the board as he tried to think of a way out. He wasn't going to allow Sebastian Moran win. He was not going to loose. He moved another pawn, regretting it instantly, but it was too late now. 

Sebastian moved his King along again, making Jim nervous. There were many ways Sebastian could win now, and only a few where he would loose. He moved his Knight, hoping it would throw off Sebastian's next move knowing it was safe where he had left it. 

The sniper moved his Bishop back and smirked at him. He could see Jim was getting frustrated, as he hovered his hand over the pieces trying to think of an escape route. All the while Sebastian was bracing himself for the inevitable of Jim throwing chess pieces at him. He sighed moving his own bishop across the board, somewhat relaxing as the odds changed. 

Sebastian shrugged, moving a pawn and watching for Jim's reactions. He moved his Queen back. Sebastian moved the king diagonally and smirked, seeing the small frown on Jim's face. The game was not going his way again and he wasn't happy. He moved his other rook to the centre of the row and nodded, scanning each piece for moves. 

"Du wirst verlieren." Sebastian smirked, moving another of his pawns. Jim shook his head, wiping his face of any emotion and sighing, taking a sip of his whiskey. He moved his Knight, giving Sebastian a smirk and holding up his middle finger. 

"Nein. _Du_ wirst verlieren." He laughed, although Sebastian could see he was bluffing. He moved his knight, stealing Jim's and laughed himself. The brunettes eyes going wide for a moment before he regained his composure. Jim quickly moved his pawn, taking Sebastian's Knight, leaving the piece open to be taken by his Bishop. 

Thankfully Sebastian ignored this and moved his Queen instead, allowing Jim to swoop in and steal it with his own. "Gracias tigre." he smirked, as Sebastian stared at him, his mouth on the floor. The criminal raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a rather cocky look as he stood up switching on the radio. "¿Alguna preferencia por la música?"

Sebastian shook his head, taking his time to choose his next move. That was when Sebastian noticed his rook, and stole Jim's queen. "Bastard!" He yelled, switching on his favourite Queen CD. 

"Cállate, Jimjam. Ningún inglés recuerda." The sniper smirked, as Jim sat down again. Evidently he hadn't noticed the rook in the centre of the board, or he hadn't thought about his move as much as he had liked to. 

"Feck it, you win, Tiger. There's no way for me to come back from that one." He growled, pouting and crossing his arms like a child would. "You really have been practising haven't you." He laughed, picking up the pieces and carefully placing them in the box, each one in the correct position, wrapped in a cotton sheet. 

"I may have downloaded a cheat book to my phone." He laughed, holding up the device. Jim gritted his teeth, refraining from throwing the glass piece in his hand at his head. "Now you promised if I ever won a game you'd explain why we don't play in English, so explain." 

"Feck off, you cheated! It doesn't count!" He yelled, and Sebastian bit his lip to stop himself from laughing at the man. 

"It does! Besides don't you cheat every game having every possible move memorised?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Jim did throw the piece this time, Sebastian catching it just as it was about to hit him. 

"Fine. Like I care." He shrugged, as Sebastian wrapped the piece up, passing it back to him. "I play a games a lot, you know that. When I was trying to learn the languages to begin with I would make games up so I didn't get bored and stop. So whenever I play them now I use other languages, simply out of habit and so I don't get out of practice." 

Sebastian nodded, and lay down on the floor, watching the man finish put the pieces away. "So what languages can you speak? It seems you know more than I do." He laughed. Jim shrugged again, looking down at him and closed the box. 

"English, Irish, Spanish, French, Italian, Russian, German, Chinese, Japanese, Gaelic and Swedish." Sebastian looked at him wide eyed. 

"You learned all them from playing board games?" He asked. Jim shot him a glare for asking such a stupid question, rolling his eyes. "Sorry... I just don't understand how you can learn so many languages from playing board games." 

"Easy. You read the instructions in separate languages, all conversation is in a different language, you explain what you're doing in a different language. It's rather simple if I'm honest." He smirked. "Here, cards in Irish." He told him grabbing the pack and starting to deal them out. 

"Okay?" Sebastian spoke confused, Jim was going to help teach him a language by playing cards? 

"Táimid ag dul a imirt fiche sin a gheobhaidh tú an hang de conas a oibríonn sé, ansin beidh orainn rud éigin a imirt beag níos deacra." Sebastian raised an eyebrow, barely understand what Jim had said, "We're going to play twenty one so you get the hang of how it works, then we'll play something a little more difficult." He spoke in English, rolling his eyes. 

He nodded, and took the cards in his hand. "Buail?" Jim asked, and Sebastian looked down at his cards. An ace and a King. 

"Nil." He shook his head, Jim nodded, looking at his own cards and placed them face up on the table, nine and a three. Sebastian smirked, placing his cards down and enjoyed watching as Jim frowned at him. 

"Bhuaigh tú." He sighed, collecting up the cards and placing them back in the deck. "Fuair sé? Rá liom gach teagasc i nGaeilge agus leanann tú díreach chomh maith. Making sense? I say each instruction in Irish and you just follow along." 

"I guess so?" He spoke cautiously hoping Jim wouldn't try and hit him again. "I prefer to just memorise the dictionary though." 

Jim laughed, sitting back against the couch. "How boring." He groaned, dealing more cards. "Buail?" 

"Buail." Sebastian repeated, looking down at his cards. Eight and a two. Jim nodded, handing him another card. Ace. 

He dealt himself a third card and frowned. "Bhuaigh tú." He sighed again with twenty three. Sebastian laughed, a perfect twenty one on show again. "One cluiche níos mó? One more game?" 

"Is ea." Yes. Jim nodded, handing him another two cards, frowning once again. "Buail." 

Jim handed him a third card, unfortunately meaning he lost. "Bhuaigh tú." He laughed, showing him the cards adding to a simple twelve, as Jim showed him a perfect twenty one, a large grin on his face. "Not very good at this game are you?" He teased. 

"Níl sé an-mhaith ag an gcluiche a bhfuil tú? No. Not really. Uimh Níl sé i ndáiríre." He smirked, translating his words for him. Sebastian smiled, enjoying how Jim sounded as he spoke, his accent getting thicker the longer they conversed, and the language sounding even better in his sing-song like voice. 

"Come on, I'm going to crush you at poker tonight." The sniper smirked, sitting up again, grabbing his beer. "But we aren't playing for money. We're playing for information." 

"What information could you possibly have that I would want?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and standing up. "You're hardly the most interesting person I've ever met." 

"Personal information, Jimjam." He laughed, purposefully using the hated nickname. 

"I've warned you about that name, Sebastian." He growled, "And why would I be willing to give you any sort of personal information?" 

"Because it's the only thing of any value to you. You don't care about money, and it's the only way I will ever get any sort of information from you. Plus it makes the game rather fun. Whoever looses the round gives up one piece of information. The more you bet, the bigger the secret." 

"Fine." He grinned, disappearing into the kitchen and returning with the bottle of whiskey and another beer. "This should be fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ar Bóthar Raglan ar Lá Fhómhair,  
> Chonaic mé a céad agus bhí a fhios  
> Go mbeadh cuid gruaige dorcha weave a snare
> 
> Translation;
> 
> On Raglan Road on an Autumn Day,  
> I saw her first and knew  
> That her dark hair would weave a snare
> 
> No sería tan arrogante si fuera tú. He estado practicando. - I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. I've been practicing.
> 
> Sigues siendo horrible en este juego, Moran. - You're still awful at this game though, Moran.
> 
> Испуганный? - Scared?
> 
> ¿Alguna preferencia por la música? - Any preferences for the music?


	4. Poker.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim loves games, and Sebastian loves to make Jim squirm. What's better than a game of poker?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please bare in mind, I have no idea how to play poker, (except texas hold 'em) so this is going to be completely wrong probably, I literally just googled winning hands and threw them into the story... So yeah, please don't judge me <3

Sebastian had two clubs, and therefore wasn't doing so great. Low cards meant Jim had a better chance of winning, and he didn't want to share things with Jim. He'd lost the first three rounds, but thankfully they had only bet very low.

So far Jim knew his full name, although he obviously already knew that anyways, his favourite movie (Natural Born Killers) and his favourite colour (Emerald green). He was comfortable with that though, but he needed to bet higher eventually, otherwise Jim wouldn't bet higher, and he wanted to make him spill his guts. He wanted information, not because he wanted to get to know Jim better, or even to blackmail him. It was just because he wanted to make him uncomfortable.

Jim was lay on his stomach, his face like stone as he watched the cards being turned over. His fingers tapped on each of the chips in front him, curling around two of the red ones and placing them in the centre. He had barely spoken except to ask questions, focusing solely on the cards.

"I win again." He grinned, looking up at him and throwing his cards down in front of him. A royal flush. "And you bet low again, that's a shame." He pouted, rolling onto his back and staring up at the sniper. Sebastian shook his head, placing the cards back in the deck and starting to shuffle them. 

"Pick a question then." He sighed, keeping his eyes focused on the cards, his fingers dancing over each one as he cut them and shuffled them. His elbows rested on the table in front of him, six cans of beer strewn over the table and a few cigarettes in an ashtray. It was rare for Jim to let him smoke inside, but they were moving again soon. Somewhere with a bedroom for Layla. 

"Do you like musicals?" He asked, with a completely straight face. _Why did he want to know if he liked musicals? The man should have known by now he wasn't a fan. With the amount of times he's come home to Les Miserables and threatened to break the speakers._

Sebastian shrugged, feeling slightly annoyed that the younger had won his forth game, and was beginning to suspect cheating. Although he'd never point it out to the man, he'd prefer not to get his eye removed with a playing card. Plus with the way Jim was staring at the deck he could probably predict each card.

"They're a bit... long. Rather boring after a while, and I can never tell the start or end to a song." He laughed, dealing out the cards again. Jim shook his head, rolling back onto his stomach and glancing at his hand. It was hard to read him, hard to tell if he was bluffing, because the man had the best poker face in the business. He could look you in the eye and tell you the sky was green and you'd believe it with how serious he looked. 

Sebastian sighed as he looked at his cards, two aces. He was only winning with four of a kind, but even that looked far off, unless Jim was unlucky this round. Highly unlikely. Jim turned over the first card, and Sebastian felt his luck changing a little. A third ace. Jim shrugged and bet higher, and Sebastian could feel his heart pounding. If he matched Jim's bet and lost he would be able to ask anything, if he won, Jim would probably kill him before he could ask anything. This was a win-win situation... for Jim. 

Six black chips, Jim had to have something good if he was betting that high. This was Jim Moriarty though... He was... Changeable. Fucking hell the man changed like the English weather!

Sebastian decided to go for it though, raising Jim and smirking slightly, he was going to pay for this. And yes he was getting cocky, but all he needed was another ace, that couldn't be too much to ask for. Then the fourth card was turned over. Another ace. He's done it. Four of a kind. There were two hands higher than his, a straight flush and a royal flush, and there was no way Jim had either of them, with the cards on the table. 

Jim seemed slightly annoyed, narrowing his eyes slightly as he sighed. "I fold." He mumbled, turning over his cards. Two hearts. Sebastian laughed, showing him the two aces, and earning himself a glare. "You have a awful poker face." He laughed, looking up at the blond and shaking his head. 

"Well I don't usually play against someone so emotionless." He commented, as he shuffled the cards again. They had learned very quickly that Jim was awful at card shuffling, or he just liked watching Sebastian pick them up, either way he wasn't allowed to shuffle anymore. Which had also earned Sebastian a kick to the ribs after tackling Jim when he 'dropped' the cards for the fourth time.

Jim sighed, watching his hands as the cards moved between them, slotting between each other. "So what's your question? I suppose you can make it rather... Prying." He scoffed, raising an eyebrow. Sebastian laughed and nodded, dealing out cards again, searching his mind for a good question. Truth be told he hadn't expected to get the chance. 

"Why'd you start the empire?" He asked, deciding to go for the safest option. Jim seemed surprised by it though, his eyes widening ever so slightly, before he composed himself. Sebastian watched him closely for any signs that he might kill him, tenseing slightly at the reaction. _He's not happy._ He thought as he watched the younger man.

"I was in prison for killing a boy at my school." He shrugged, deciding that it was okay to tell him, after all who would Sebastian tell? "In order to get out I had to do a few favours for people, each time I did another though, I needed someone else's help and so I had to do another. I ended up making deals with all the right people and getting out, but I still had favours to do. In the end I was too deep into it and I needed a way out and bought the cartel. I could then pay for people's help, power went to my head though, and eventually it led to the empire. I had so many people willing to do anything for me, for a simple favour, including your uncle. It was like a drug, and here we are today, most dangerous man in England." 

"I refuse to believe you were in prison and got out alive," Sebastian laughed, looking down at him, before throwing in a bet. "Shame you actually did that for him though." Sebastian mumbled. Jim nodded, watching closly for any sign of remembering, but Sebastian seemed oblivious. "Well... I mean it was good for you... I guess?" He stuttered, thinking he had made a mistake, or that Jim might have taken his comment the wrong way. 

The brunet shook his head, and picked up his cards, quickly glancing at them. "It was a shame that I did it for him, wasn't it." He nodded, turning over the first card and throwing in a bet. Sebastian looked at him for a moment, assessing his behavious before looking at his own cards, betting slightly higher than Jim. A king and a queen. "I suggest you bet rather high." He laughed, winking at him and throwing a few more chips into the middle. 

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, unable to tell if Jim was being serious or just had a question he was dying to ask. He decided to humour him though. One intruding question can't be that bad. It was only Jim after all. Plus he was interested in what type of questions he would ask. Raising Jim's bet he turned over another card and realised he was probably going to loose, but at least he was on his way to having three of a kind. 

Jim seemed pleased by his bet, quickly matching it. "What if you don't win, Moran?" He laughed, his voice deeper than usual as he stared straight into the snipers eyes. Most would find it intimidating, maybe even creepy, but somehow Sebastian was turned on by it, "Willing to spill your deepest secrets?" He teased.

Jim had to be bluffing. He had to be trying to scare him, so he could win. Why would he be doing this? Sebastian cautiously matched his bet again, each of them now having bet close to six hundred pounds; if they were playing for money that is.

The final card gave Sebastian four of a kind, of Jacks, but Jim had once again earned himself a royal flush. "My turn again then." He laughed, his accent thick as he drank some of his whiskey. "What should I ask you, I wonder... Maybe I should ask you about your family, but that would be too... easy. Something different, something unexpected." He mumbled, looking up at him. 

His eyes were wide and full of wonder, dancing over Sebastian's features as he tried to think of a good enough question, although Sebastian knew he already had one in mind. "When we first met... There was a night we spent together... Do you remember it? This isn't my question I'm just making sure." He clarrified. Sebastian nodded, furrowing his eyebrows and picking up the deck of cards, wanting something else to focus on. "Would you have actually had sex with me, or would you have stopped?" 

"What if you didn't get that phone call?" Sebastian asked, shrugging his shoulders. "Probably, if you didn't kill me first." He laughed, dealing out some more cards. Jim nodded, glancing at his before shaking his head. At least Sebastian didn't remember the rest of that night, he thought to himself.

"I fold." He sighed within a few seconds, showing a two of diamonds and a three of clubs. Sebastian laughed, as the mastermind frowned, looking up at him. "You can ask one question. A small question." 

"Why did you ask if I'd have slept with you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Jim rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed by the obvious question. Sebastian wasn't letting it go though, he wanted answers. Not because he thought Jim would confess his feelings for him, although he secretly hoped he would, but because it wasn't the type of question he had expected from Jim. He was the type to ask him what his least favourite torture technique was, in order to use it on him the next morning.

Jim shrugged, handing the sniper his cards to put back in the deck. "Curious." Was all he said, giving no indication that he was going to elaborate, and although Sebastian wanted more, he knew this was the best he was going to get. 

They continued playing for a few more rounds, neither of them asking anything serious. Until Jim won a rather large bet. "You once said there were many differences between me and Richard, explain." He demanded. 

Sebastian shook his head and began shuffling, biding his time. "You're mean and he's not." He said simply, earning himself a glare. Jim took another sip of his whiskey and kicked his sniper. Sitting up, obvious interest in his eyes as he awaited the answer. He was so made of stone when he drank, and Sebastian always enjoyed the nights he was drunk. "Richard is less flamboyant than you, and his accent is less obvious. Also, your eyes give it away. That's all I'm saying."

"My eyes?" He laughed, as the blond put the cards away, Jim was prying too much now. "Getting all romantic on me, Sebastian?" He joked, causing Sebastian to almost choke on nothing. Sebastian shook his head furiously, wide eyed and panicking a little, which only caused Jim to laugh even more. "Calm down, Moran. I'm only teasing. Anyways, I'm going to bed. We've got shit to do tomorrow." 

Jim finished his glass of whiskey, leaving it on the table and smiled at him. "Maybe we should play truth or dare next time." He winked, grabbing his phone.

"Right... Yeah... Good night, boss." Sebastian stuttered, as the brunet stood up, stretching out his back. Sebastian's gaze lingered a second too long and he could feel his cheeks heating up as he prayed Jim didn't notice. 

"Night, Moran." He yawned, padding off to his bedroom. Sebastian stayed sat on the floor a little longer, his head in his hands as he rested his elbows on the table. He knew it was wrong, it couldn't be normal. No sane person would be in love with a maniac like Jim. This wasn't just some maniac though; this was the genius, the mastermind, the man who sang to children and bought them hundreds of gifts, and watched Disney films when he couldn't sleep. The man with a heart as cold as ice, that was still caring and full of love. Even if it was just for the young toddler...

And secretly Sebastian wanted to be the second person to melt the mans heart.

•••

Jim curled up in bed, pulling the blanket up under his neck and hugging one of the pillows tight to his chest. His mind was racing and although he was exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open, he couldn't shut it off. He was left to his thoughts, the whirlwind of ideas, how he could torture people and how to make his empire grow. Ways to get the information he needed, and how to punish those who tried to get in his way. 

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and attempted to shut it off when his thoughts turned to something darker. His arms wrapped tighter around the pillow as the images flashed through his mind. His fathers eyes that were filled with anger and hatred. The pain he felt as his belt hit against his skin and the disgust he felt in himself letting him touch him.

It had happened a lot over the years, his memories leaking into his dreams and taking over his thoughts. Each time he had managed to hide it from the others, usually deciding to kill someone to take his mind off it, but nights like these were hard. There was no one to kill, and there was no way he could just go out and find someone. Well he could, but then Moran would know something wasn't right. 

His mind began to race as he began to see things. Hearing his fathers voice screaming through his ears as he cried out in pain. He prayed no one heard him, and eventually he could feel his body going into auto pilot. His eyes glossed over, and white noise echoing through his ears.

He stood up, his body feeling heavy as he dragged himself to the bedroom door. "Seb?" He whispered, as he opened it hoping he was still sat in the living room. There was no answer though, he wrapped his arms wrapped around his waist and made his way through the apartment. There were no lights on and so he figured the sniper had probably gone to bed. 

Sebastian's bedroom was the other side of the apartment, and Jim could see a small amount of light illuminating from under the door. "Seb..." He whispered again, knocking quietly. He could hear some shuffling before the door opened, the taller man standing in front of him. 

"What's up, boss?" He asked, looking down at him. Jim's mind was still whirling and he struggled to hear the sniper over the noise inside his head. His eyes were empty and he seemed dazed, his whole body racked with fear. "Jim?" He asked, placing his hands on his shoulders, when his legs gave out.

Sebastian caught him, holding him up and staring into his eyes, hoping Jim would have some sense of awareness. He knew it was hopeless though. "James, come back to me." He spoke softly trying not to scare him, and Jim snapped out of it for a few seconds, givin him a pleading look.

"Can I... I..." He whispered, his voice cracking and giving out on him as he looked up at the blond. Sebastian sighed seeing the pain in his eyes, as he wrapped an arm around the criminal's waist, helping him to the bed. 

"Are you okay Jim? Can you look at me?" He asked, crouching down in front of him, his hands resting on his employers knees. "Jim come back to me, you can't be doing this to me." He spoke calmly. Sebastian had done this many times without his boss knowing. He would have an episode and come to his room, then he'd calm him down, he'd fall asleep in his room, and after a few hours he'd sneak out and go back into his bedroom. 

Jim always thought that Sebastian had been asleep, and he had just crawled into the bed beside him, always forgetting most of the events due to the dazed state of mind. Sebastian didn't mind of course, he would simply keep his mouth shut, and when Jim would sneak out of his room, he would pretend to be asleep. 

"Hey, come on, Jim Moriarty doesn't let anything get to him, remember? He's strong and he won't let his past control him." He cooed, sitting beside him and pulling him onto his lap. Jim balled his fist up into Sebastian's shirt, his heart pounding. "I'm right here, Jim. You're not alone, you're better than this, you know you are." He whispered. He hated seeing Jim so hurt, so weak, so... vulnerable. 

Jim's breathing began to calm, his eyes returning to their normal cold, emotionless state. "You're okay, Jim. It's okay." He continued, rocking him back and forth. Jim nodded, curling up into the sniper, his head resting against his shoulder as he began to slowly fall asleep. "Jim Moriarty, the magpie, the spider at the centre of the web." 

"Sebastian..." He whispered, his voice soft and almost child like. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, Jim never spoke when this happened. It had taken him two hours to work out what was going on when it first happened. He didn't speak though, allowing Jim to decide if he wanted to continue talking. 

A few moments of silence passed, as he contemplated what he was about to say. "We're going to start the plan." He whispered, before passing out.

Sebastian held him for a little while longer, just watching his chest rising and falling as he slept. He could hear his mind screaming at him to put him into bed and pretend none of this happened, but he had to talk about Jim this. The plan. The Holmes plan. 

This was not going to be a fun few years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment, and kudos <3


	5. Meetings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is bored of having no one to kill, so Jim decides to make things better for him. But why is Jim acting so strange?

Jim had woken up early the next morning, scurrying out of Sebastian's bedroom and back to his own. He was still pretty tired as he got dressed, carefully choosing his clothes for the day and retying the knot in his tie six times before he was happy with it. He had a full day ahead of him, meetings and negotiations, as well as personal errands to run. Plus he needed to sort out a new bodyguard for Thursday, so Sebastian could have the day off. 

His suit hung loosely on his shoulders as he checked himself over in the mirror. He had a few small bruises on his wrists from where Sebastian had restrained him, and he knew he would have to keep them hidden. "Sebastian!" He screamed, leaving the bedroom and slamming his fists against the snipers door. "Get up! We've got places to be." He sauntered off to the kitchen, picking up his phone and quickly replying to several emails when Sebastian finally joined him. 

"What's the plan, boss?" He asked pulling on one of the many leather jackets he owned. Jim glanced up at him, giving him a disapproving look. Sebastian could see how tense he was, and figured today was going to be very busy and full of trying to keep the maniac from causing more trouble than usual. "Anything you need to me to bring?" 

Jim thought for a moment, placing his phone down on the counter and grabbed an apple. His usual breakfast it seemed. "Two guns, your phone and extra ammo. We'll be taking the ford today, so don't forget to pick up the keys. We leave in fifteen mi-" He explained, when his phone started ringing. Sebastian raised an eyebrow to his choice of ringtone as he heard _You're So Vain_ echoing from the device. Jim sighed, answering the phone. "Richard it's eight o'clock in the morning, what do you want?"

Sebastian chuckled at his boss's sense of humour and quickly made himself some coffee, sitting down at the table and reading over the reports for the last three days. He was still in charge of Jim's cartel and had even expanded it over the last few years. Jim had even stopped checking in as often. "We're going to have Layla stay the night, so I'll need you to get some stuff. I'll give you a list when I go to collect her from Richard's." 

"Fine by me," He shrugged, pouring the last of his coffee into the sink and pulling on his boots. "You're ready to go, yeah?" Jim nodded, leaving the untouched apple on the side and made his way to the garage. Sebastian sighed, placing the fruit back in it's bowl before following him out. Jim wasn't eating much as of late, and it was worrying him. 

"We've got to meet with the Richardson's and then we've a few negotiations to do, but they'll be at my office. I'll send you to get the things I need when I meet with Spencer to discuss a few changes to his pay." Jim explained, climbing into the passengers seat. Sebastian hummed a reply, not really listening to Jim's rambling as he got into the car himself. He was sick of meeting and negotiations, he wanted something more fun, he wanted to kill people and torture people, but it had been months since they needed to, and his trigger finger was starting to twitch. "Then we have a very important few days, as I start the plan."

Sebastian glanced at him, turning the engine on, "You're actually going to start this plan?" He asked, opening the garage door. "Jim you said it yourself, there's many holes in your plan. What if you get caught? I can't break you out of prison every week." 

"You won't have to, it's almost complete, there's just one last piece of the game to be put in place, and it's done. I won't be doing anything for the first six months, that's Eurus' job." He laughed, putting his feet up on the dashboard as they backed out the driveway and turned onto the road. "I'll go over it with you tomorrow, you're a rather large part of it."

The sniper looked at him with confusion, furrowing his eyebrows at the words. "I am?" He questioned, as he turned back to the road. Jim nodded, plugging his phone into the radio and turned on some music. 

"Of course. I'm going to need a sniper for a few jobs, I can't promise you any kills, but I can promise a good pay." He smiled. It wasn't genuine, and it seemed out of place on his face. Sebastian shook his head and hummed along to the music. "I might have a job for you Friday though, and you have next Thursday off." He spoke up randomly.

Sebastian looked at him, his eyes wide and jaw hitting the floor. "Seb! Eyes on the road!" He screamed, as the car started to swerve into the opposite lane. Sebastian quickly regained himself, turning his attention back the road. "Fecking hell Sebastian, I'd like to get to this meeting alive!" He complained, leaning back in his seat. 

"Sorry boss, so why are you giving me Thursday off? In the last three years I've worked for you, I've had six days off. And each time I got called back to save your ass." He questioned, as Jim took it upon himself to skip through his songs, at an irritatingly slow pace. The start of each song playing, before he decided whether he wanted to listen to it, which was one of the mans most annoying traits, and the reason he wasn't allowed to plug his phone in anymore.

Jim shrugged, skipping another song. "It's your mothers anniversary. I figured you might want to spend it with your brother." He spoke so calmly, as if it didn't mean anything. It didn't to him, and Sebastian knew that. Jim had never met his mother, nor had he ever asked about her, so why would he care? "Richard and I are going out with Layla, and I'd rather not have you two moping around." 

"Moping around?" He asked, how could one man be so inconsiderate? His mother was dead, and Sebastian had witnessed it, surly that accounted for something? "You're really not human are you?" He sighed, as he pulled into the parking lot. 

Jim's meetings usually ended in bloodshed and therefore Sebastian had to keep the car close, which meant they ended up using the ford an awful lot. It also meant that the ford would stink of blood and have horrible red stains covering every inch of it. It was about the only thing Jim wasn't protective over. 

Jim ignored Sebastian's comment, climbing out of the vehicle, his hips swaying as he made his way into the building. Sebastian watched from afar, locking the car and following him inside. His eyes scanning every inch of the Irish mans body. 

Something in the way he walked would give off an aura of power, confidence and a little bit of fear. He could cause people to tremble just by entering a room, and somehow she always managed to catch people's attention, even now as they walked through the lobby of the office building.

The man was a flirt, and everyone knew it, guys, girls it didn't matter. He made every one of them feel the need to be near him, and even Sebastian wasn't able to control himself. He just oozed sex. Which was extremely helpful when he wanted something, and a nightmare to those who were involved. 

The two of them made their way into the meetings room, Jim purposely kicking the doors open as wide as they would go. A loud 'Bang!' Echoing and causing everyone to fall silent. Their heads snapping in Jim's direction and eyes widening as they caught a glimpse of him. 

Sebastian held back a little, entering a few seconds after him, and taking his place at the table. Jim walked around, his hand trailing over each persons shoulders so if he was wrapping an invisible rope around each of the men. "Good morning, fellas!" He sang once he was back at Sebastian's side. His hand lingering on his shoulder for a moment, before he quickly span around to face them all. 

"M-Moriarty... I didn't know we were... We were seeing you today." Frank Richardson spoke up. He was the only member of the Richardson empire that knew how to handle Jim. Or at least, how to handle business with Jim. 

"Oh?" The brunet asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "You didn't know? Well it was you who I set this up with. Maybe you're becoming forgetful in your old age." 

Frank shook his head, he knew the look in Jim's eyes. It was the same look he gave most of his victims. Frank had seen it many times over the years, mostly towards his staff, or Sebastian. "No, no. I'm sorry. It's been a busy week, I probably just forgot to write it down." He panicked, scrambling for the right words to say. 

The other men around the table seemed just as nervous. Each of them tense as they watched the mad man, their eyes following him around the room. Sebastian leaned back, crossing his arms and keeping a close eye on them all, searching for any signs of mistrust. In a way he wanted the men to try and kill the brat, he needed a kill. He knew Jim wouldn't be happy though, and spending another night in the basement with him, was not something he wanted to do. He had plans tonight.

"Well Frank, lets start this meeting again." He laughed, pulling out a gun and shooting the first man to his right. A clean shot, right between the eyes. Each of the other men flinched, their faces drained of colour and fear running through their veins. "I've got a problem Frank. A problem I need you to help me with." 

"S-s-sure... Moriarty. Any-Anything you need." He stuttered out, keeping his eyes locked with Jim's. It was involuntary, something Jim had perfected over the years to instil dominance over a person. His dark brown eyes staring straight into theirs, and he could make them shake with fear. Well... Everyone except Sebastian Moran, who had come to enjoy those moments, and teased Jim about them. 

Jim smiled, and sat down, placing the gun in front of Sebastian and giving him a sly wink. _Someone else is going to die._ "I need Mycroft Holmes, _and_ Sherlock Holmes, for a week."

Everyone turned to look at him, their eyes all telling him the same thing. He's insane. And they were right, but that didn't mean they weren't going to do it... Eventually.

"Moriarty... Don't you think that's a bit of a ta-"

"Seb." He snapped, cutting him off, followed by another loud bang as the next man in line got a bullet to the head. Sebastian smirked, he could relax now. He needed more, but for now, he was okay. 

Frank stared at the dead man, the blood pooling around his head and merging with the other guys. The metallic smell filling up the room from the large quantity, that had already started seeping into the carpet. "A week. Mycroft Holmes. Sherlock Holmes." He demanded, throwing a small file down on the table. "That's all the information you'll need. I need it done by Friday." 

"Anything else you'll n-need?" He asked, his face pale and almost sickly. Sebastian watched his boss carefully, spinning the gun on his finger. Each of the men's eyes were darting between the weapon and Moriarty, their pulse visible in their necks as they panicked. 

"I'll need Eurus. She's already agreed to help me. And I'll also need two doctors, Sebastian I'll leave that to you. You, Frank. You're going to be ever so useful to me, so I need you alive. Do you think you can manage that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Frank nodded his head, as the rest of the men held their breath. "Good, now my lovely tiger here is ever so bored. So... Guns out fellas. I'll see you Friday."

With that Jim stood up leaving the room, and Sebastian gave each of them one quick glance before bullets started flying. Ten bullets all together, and each one was planted directly between the eyes of each man, leaving Frank sat at the table, surrounded by dead men. "Lovely seeing you again." Sebastian laughed, firing one shot at him, missing his head by centimetres, just to scare him. 

"Was that really necessary?" Jim asked, as the sniper joined him outside. He looked bored, an obvious mask to hide whatever he was actually feeling. Sebastian shrugged, handing him the weapon back and leading him to the car. 

"Completely. I love messing with dear old Frank." He laughed, looking back at his employer. "Where to now?" 

Jim glared at him, not really mad, but trying to keep up his image in public. "The office. I have a few more people to meet, and you're going shopping." Sebastian nodded, unlocking the car and getting in the drivers seat, as Jim climbed in the passengers. "I'll also need you to inform Nyx I won't be seeing him tonight, I'd do it myself, but the man drives me crazy."

Sebastian laughed again, shaking his head and starting the vehicle, turning out of the lot. "Trust me I know." He smirked, earning a slap to the back of his head. 

"Not what I meant, Sebastian and you know it. His voice is... It's so fecking annoying." He complained, "And he tries to have actual conversations with me! I swear if he didn't still have his uses, I'd be sending you after him."

"You realise that most boyfriends talk to each, right? That's how relationships work." Sebastian asked, as if Jim didn't already know that. Nyx and he weren't in a relationship though, not in Jim's mind at least. 

He shook his head and glared at the sniper, "We're not together, he just has a huge cock." He snapped. Jim had never been very shy about his sex life, plus he loved making Sebastian feel uncomfortable when he spoke about it. Which was exactly what was happening right now. 

"Say what ever you want, Jim. You know there's something else that makes you keep going back to him. You kicked all the others to the curb after one night." He pointed out. Jim scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, Sebastian. I can't stand the man, I just like sex." He growled, shoving him lightly, more so because he was driving otherwise Sebastian would probably be getting stabbed by now. "Here's a list of things I need, put them in my room, I'll stay in the basement tonight." 

Sebastian shook his head, hitting his employers shoulder. "You can have my room. I'm going out tonight anyways. I'll stay on the couch." Jim's face twisted into something of shock and fear. 

"You can't leave me in the house with Layla alone! What if someone tries... Oh god, you can't go out... What if..." He panicked, struggling to breath, his arms wrapping around his waist as he tried to calm himself. Sebastian pulled over, quickly getting out and forcing Jim out of the car. 

"Calm down! Fucking hell Jim! You'll be okay, I'm only going to be out for a few hours, and I'm only going down to the pub with a few friends from the army." He explained, holding him by the shoulders as the brunet leaned against the bonnet. The criminal gasped for air, as he started to see black spots appearing in his vision. 

Sebastian moved his hands to the mans waist, holding him up. He picked him up, placing him on the bonnet and grabbed the bottle of water he kept in glove compartment. "Jim, calm down will you! I'll get Spencer to stay with you, or I'll see if Severin can. You need to stop panicking though! No one knows where we live, and no one alive knows about the girl."

"Sebastian Moran! I'm not going to subject that young girl to a drug dealer!" He screamed, before sliding off the bonnet and throwing up. Sebastian shook his head and held the man, rubbing small circles on his back as he tried to calm him. The sniper took pity on the man, he really did care about the small child, and Sebastian cared about her too. Especially since Severin was now her 'Papa'.

"You're a fucking drug dealer, Jim. Now calm down, we've got work to do." He snapped, knowing that being harsh was the only way Jim would ever listen to him. Jim glared at him, hitting him away and leaning back against the car. His legs felt weak and he could barely keep himself up right. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, pulling his employer into the car, and slamming the car door. He was working for a child. "I am not a drug dealer, Sebastian." He pouted as the sniper got into the car. Sebastian rolled his eyes again and started the engine, turning back onto the road and continuing their journey. "Can we go home instead? I don't feel too well." He mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. 

The sniper glanced at him, his skin slightly paler and the bags under his eyes were noticeably darker. "What happened to criminals don't get days off?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Jim shrugged, he really wasn't in a good mood. "How about you come shopping with me? We'll get Layla all the best things, and you won't send me back to the shop six times for getting the wrong thing." 

Jim shrugged again, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Sebastian started to get a little worried about him, his eyes constantly glancing over at him. Jim seemed in a world of his own as he stared out the windscreen, his eyes glossed over as he sat in silence, his music playing through the speakers. It was the longest they'd ever gone without him skipping through the songs, and it proved there was definitely something not right with him. 

Sebastian kept his mouth shut as he drove into town, parking up barely a mile away from the shops. Jim didn't seem to notice, continuing to stare off. The blond sighed, shaking him gently. "Come on, Jim. I'll get you some coffee, then we'll go shopping, and then I'll set up her room as you go to pick her up."

Jim nodded, but kept quiet, slowly getting out of the car and starting to walk off. Sebastian sighed, pulling his phone out and texting Richard. 

_[There's something not right with your brother. Given up a day of work because he 'doesn't feel well' and he's not looking forward to shopping. Hasn't said a word for almost an hour. Anything you can think of that triggered it? -SM]_

Within seconds he got a reply. _[Anniversary.]_


	6. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's flashback... 
> 
> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER! So please read at your own discretion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> I can not stress that enough, this is a very dark chapter, a very emotional chapter and a rather... disturbing chapter. So use common sense if you think you'll be triggered by it, don't read it. 
> 
> Please don't forget to comment and kudos though!
> 
> Also this chapter is unedited, I didn't want to read it back. If you notice any errors please let me know.

January 15th 2006

Fifteen year old Jim. Sat on his bed, his arms wrapped around his legs as he sobbed. It was early Sunday morning. The dreaded Sunday's. He wanted to scream and disappear. For his heart to just give out, and for himself to just stop dead suddenly. He knew he couldn't leave Richard though. Everything was crumbling around him though, and he didn't know what to do. 

The clock ticked away, one hour, two, three, four... Forever moving and never slowing down. The haunting sound of the hours ticking by echoed through his mind. Six o'clock everyone would be out. Eleven o'clock Josh would be here. 

His phone buzzed, causing him to jump. _Josh has sent you a message._ the screen notified him. His stomach dropped, his whole body shaking. Was he coming early? Was he going to punish him for something? 

He slowly reached over, retrieving the phone from the night stand and opened the message. _Get yourself prepared. I have a gift for you. We are all going to have some fun._ His eyes widened. 'All'. More than just Josh? 

It was now Seven o'clock. Everyone was out, and Jim knew what he needed to do. He felt like a whore. Why was he doing this? Why didn't he just kill Josh? Why didn't he tell someone? Why didn't he... There were so many 'whys' that he had forgotten to get ready. His mind was so swarmed with thoughts, that he hadn't realised the clock notifying him it was now nine o'clock. 

He didn't have time to shower. He had to get ready, otherwise he was going to be in a lot of pain. His eyes welled up with tears as he rummaged in the drawers. Josh had gotten fed up of hearing him cry in pain, and sent him to buy lube and a plug. It made him feel cheap. Dirty. Sick. 

Everything about this situation made his body tremble. His heart pound, eyes water and stomach twist. He gritted his teeth, placing the items on the bed and grabbed some clothes from the wardrobe. Sweat pants and a shirt. There was no point in wearing anything else, it was only going to come straight back off again. 

He lay down on the bed, trying to relax and opened the bottle. He'd do anything to get out of this. He'd do everything he could to not have to do this. Yet as he lay there slicking up his fingers, it was the safest he had felt during any sexual act since this all started.

He felt disgusting. As he slowly removed his clothes from the previous day, tears began to fall. He had two hours, but those two hours always seemed to go by so quickly. As if the world couldn't wait to see him in pain. He just prayed no one would come home early. 

Jim looked down at his body, the scars and bruises that had formed over every inch of his skin. The horrible way his ribs poked out through the skin, and how pale he was in contrast to each wound. The cuts and scars that lined each arm, and the burns that covered his chest. The bruises on his hips where they would dig their fingertips in. Everything about himself sent shivers down his spine. He was ugly, the definition of a freak. The embodiment of a monster. 

His mind wandered to a film he had recently watched, _The Princess Bride_. To the pain... First loosing your feet below the ankles. Then hands at the wrists. Nose. Eyes are next. Ears are the only thing you keep, so that you hear every shriek, every baby crying and and every person crying out; "Dear God, what is that thing?" To the pain... Exactly how Jim saw himself. A hideous monster, put on this earth to suffer and be plagued with pain and torture. 

As he lay there on the bed, his body stripped of clothes, and the bottle of lube in hand, he sobbed. He poured the horrendous liquid out onto his fingers, biting down on his lip as he allowed his hand to slip between his legs. He wanted to scream, he wanted to scream so loud his vocal chords burst and his throat felt raw. He wanted to lash out at everyone, attack them all until they were nothing more than a pile of bodies. In that moment he even considered swapping places with Richard. Although he knew he would never do such a thing, even if his life was in jeopardy. 

He slowly slipped one finger in, fighting to keep a sob from escaping his lips. There was no pleasure in this. He couldn't get Josh's face out of his head, the way he would laugh and grin at his pain. The pain was the least terrifying part though. It was the days he thought he was enjoying it... The days his body would betray him. Those were the worst. The longer Josh would fuck him, the harder it became to fight the pleasure that would take over eventually. The moans that would fight to escape his throat, and the way his cock would show the lack of control he had. 

Josh had mastered getting Jim to cum by this point. He knew just how to angle himself so Jim lost all self control he had. He relished in making the smaller man submit to him. This only made Jim feel so much worse though. 

Another sob escaped his mouth as he added a second finger, moving slowly as he stared up at the ceiling. Images continued to flash through his mind. The thought of Josh making his stomach twist, the thought that he was bringing a friend making things even worse. Then the thought of his father coming home and finding them, what he would do if he saw what happened when he was away. The scariest thought though, was if Richard came home and found them. If he found out what Jim went through when he thought his brother was safe. It would kill him. 

It was getting close to ten o'clock now, Jim's eyes fluttered closed. He wanted the sheets to swallow him up, wrap around him and suffocate him. He wanted the world to stop turning and time to just freeze. His stomach tensed as he added a third, the pain starting to wear off a little. His movements getting a little faster as he tried to get it over with. 

He bit down on his other hand, adding a forth and suffering through the brief pain that followed. He was almost done. A thin layer of sweat covered his whole body, his skin feeling cold as the clock moved closer to eleven. Every part of him was wishing for an Earthquake or a tsunami, some form of disaster that would kill everyone. It was useless though. 

He slowly slid his fingers out, replacing them with the plug and began to sob again. This was all because of Carl Powers. Carl Powers who had laughed at him, who had bullied him, who had caused him to feel so bad that he decided to do something... This was Carl's revenge. It had to be. 

The brunette sat up, taking a deep breath and pulling on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. He needed to clean up, but all he wanted to do was throw up. He trudged through the house, walking into the bathroom and quickly washing his hands, brushed his teeth and fixed his hair, as well as washing away any traces of tears. 

There was still fifteen minutes when there was a knock on the door. Jim jumped almost three feet in the air, his stomach twisting, as he quickly made his way down the stairs. Josh and two of his friends. He recognised one of them from his swim class, he didn't know his name though. The other he had never seen before, and figured he probably didn't go to their school. 

He didn't say anything to them, just moved out the way to allow them into his home. Josh seemed in a bad mood, his eyes narrowed and hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. "Good morning, Jimmy." He spoke up, forcing a smile and wrapping an arm around his waist. Bad mood=affection. He was going to make him hate himself. 

"Good morning." He smiled, putting on his usual persona. He never showed fear, he always tried to show he was bored, or unimpressed. He would make snide comments to go along with the act, no one needed to know he spent his alone time curled up in a ball sobbing his heart out. 

Josh nodded at his friend, before starting to lead the way up to Jim's room. "I hope you did as I asked, Jimmy. We have a lot to do today." He laughed, as the others began to follow, Jim behind them all. 

"Don't I always. It's the only joy I get out of this." He deadpanned, which earned him a slap once he had reached the top of the stairs. He laughed and shook his head, opening the bedroom door and sitting down on the bed. The three boys joined him a moment later, Josh sitting beside him as the other two opted for sitting on the small couch Jim had bought not too long ago. 

"We've got a surprise for you today, Jimmy." He grinned, a slightly sinister tone of voice. Jim crossed his legs, feeling extremely uncomfortable with his posture, but refusing to show it. "A little birdy told me it was your birthday, and we decided that we'd make it pretty... memorable." He laughed, pulling him into a kiss. Jim rolled his eyes, trying his best to keep his persona up. 

As Josh pulled away he made a point of biting his lip, drawing a small amount of blood. "I do hope you don't mind a lovely little video being made." Jim's heart stopped. 

"No... Why would I?" He laughed. What was he doing? Why did he was to record it? Why had he just agreed? One of his friends, the one he didn't recognise, pulled out a small camera. That's when he pieced it together. He was his. He wanted something to black mail him with. Something only he could use. 

Josh's lips turned up into a grin as he stood up. "There's a good boy, now come on. Let's see your _beautiful_ body." He knew how much Jim hated his body. He knew how self concious he was deep down. Josh knew just how to get to him, and he made sure to use everything he could to make him miserable on days like this. 

Jim smiled at him, standing up and blocking out all the thoughts he had of himself. His shirt was first to go, and he watched as both Josh's friends faces twisted into something of both shock and horror. To the pain... His pants were next, and just like that, every part of him was on show. "How do you want me?" He smirked, pushing away the thoughts. 

"Just get on the bed, Jimmy. You'll soon find out." He spoke softly, and it terrifed the boy. He knew exactly what was coming. Josh's family were rich, his father was a lord and his mother was a brilliant author. Neither of them ever had time for Josh though. They only wanted him when they made public appearences, or at their parties. Therefore they didn't care what he did during the day. 

This also meant that he had plenty of time to spend with Jim. "Oh I should probably introduce you, Jimmy, this is Carl." He spoke, and all the air was suddenly knocked out of Jim's lungs. He done chosen him on purpose. The boy from his swim class. The other Carl. 

"Nice to meet you, I hope your cock's more impressive than his." He smiled, trying to keep calm. His whole body was tense, everything about him screamed 'I'm scared' but his attitude contradicted it. He was like an open book. Obviously trying too hard to keep from crying. Carl just nodded at him though. 

"And this is Phillips." He smiled signalling to the boy with the camera, and Jim nodded at him. "So has the camera got enough _power?_ " Josh asked, turning his attention away from Jim as he situated himself on the bed. He had done this on purpose. Jim had always assumed the boy to be an idiot, but right here, right now. He was smart. He had planned this. Thought it through. 

Ruin his birthday, make him cum, remind him of Carl and reassert his dominance. "Isn't he wonderful? The way he just complies like a little whore." He smiled. Anyone else would have thought he was affectionate because it was his birthday, and he had decided to be nice. Or that he was a good boyfriend. Everyone knew Jim got into a lot of fights, so the bruises didn't prove anything about Josh. 

Phillips stayed seated on the couch, quickly setting up a tripod, before the red light flashed on to show it was recording.

Jim's blood ran cold. This was going to happen, and he would forever be Josh's personal little minion. Carl smirked at him, getting to his feet and walking closer. "Does he do these to himself?" He asked, grabbing one of his arms. Jim kept his mouth shut, looking away from them all and focusing solely on the pillow in front of him. 

"Yeah, little fuckers an emo." He laughed, standing beside his friend and placing a hand on the bottom on his back. "I've been trying to help him stop, but he just attacks me if I mention it. I'd be careful if I were you." 

Anger boiled through his veins and he began to imagine snapping Josh's neck in two. He imagined how pretty he would look surrounded by his own blood. Drowning at the bottom of a pool. Burning to death. "Isn't that right, Jimmy?" Josh's voice tore through his mind, as he tapped the plug further into him. His body jolted slightly, as he looked up at him and nodded, not knowing what he was actually talking about. 

Josh smiled down at him and tapped it again, causing a quiet moan to escape his lips. Anger was always the best way for Josh to take control. Thinking about killing him always made him hard. Thinking about killing anyone did. He knew this, and he also knew that Jim would never be able to. Not without getting caught. He was lucky with Carl, but luck isn't something the universe just gives away for free.

"You're going to take Carl first, but remember our rule." He spoke quietly. 

"I don't cum, unless you say so." He nodded, as he adjusted his position, gripping the bedsheets to stop from lashing out. Josh nodded, kissing him again, and went to sit beside Phillips. The red dot had been on the whole time, and it was driving him insane. He looked willing to let this happen. He looked like he had consented. That's when it dawned on him though. He had consented. Thousands of times. Simply by not wanting to be caught. Jim had consented to all of this, the second Carl's heart stopped. 

The other Carl kneeled behind him, the familiar sound of a zipper filling the quiet between the four of them. Jim willed himself to relax as the plug was slowly moved. First he pushed it in, smirking as Jim moaned at the sudden movement, before removing it completely. 

Within seconds Carl had pushed his way inside, causing Jim to bite his lip, his knuckles turning white from the grip he had on the sheets. There was no waiting period, no adjusting to the sudden intrusion, as Carl began to move his hips. Pain radiated through out Jim's body, his stomach tensing as he tried to keep himself from crying out. He squeezed his eyes shut, as Carl dug his nails into the bruises that were already scattered over his hips. 

"Careful Carl, don't kill him." Josh laughed, as Jim's elbows buckled and he quickly scrambled to grip the headboard, to stop himself from falling. Carl laughed, and shook his head, dragging his nails down Jim's sides causing him to moan quite loud. 

His breathing became unsteady as Carl pounding into him. Every inch of his body shaking from fear, pleasure and pain. He zoned out into his thoughts, Josh's head being pound against the floor, each of Carl's thrusts, matching the pounding of Josh's head, until his skull finally caved in. Blood and brain matter scattering across the floor, bone flying into the air as he continued to pound. His face soon becoming unrecognisable. Jim's face was covered in Josh's blood, his hands stained red and pieces of his skull sticking out of his skin.

Carl pulled out of him, quickly doing up his jeans and moving away. Jim came back to reality, realizing what was happening and recognising what he had just imagined. He could feel his own climax had slowly started building and felt sick to his stomach. 

"Such a good boy today, aren't you Jimmy?" Josh smirked, as he took Carl's place. Jim nodded his head, willing his body to stop reacting. Josh ran his fingers down Jim's spine, sending shivers through his body as he involuntarily leaned into the contact. He wanted to be sick. "Remember our rule." He snarled, quickly undoing his jeans and pushing his way inside with one quick, hard thrust that almost caused Jim to scream. 

It wasn't as painful as it could have been, and he was thankful that he had been warned in advance. Yet it still felt like he was being torn apart. He took a deep breath, as Josh slowly pulled out, thrusting hard again. He knew that Jim hated it. He knew it caused him pain. He also knew that Jim was a pain slut, despite how much he denied it. Jim enjoyed pain and torture, but he liked it when he was in control. He liked it when he was able to say no, and stop. Not that he'd ever experienced that. 

Finally he stopped, moving his hips in a more rhythemic way, angleing himself so he hit just the right spot every time. Jim tried -and failed- to keep himself from moaning, to will away everything his body was forcing him to feel. Josh continued to thrust his hips, running his nails down Jim's sides and leaning down to bite his neck. He left fresh marks over his skin, red lines and teeth marks, fresh bruises and new cuts. 

Jim gripped the headboard harder, biting down on his hand to keep himself quiet. He shouldn't be enjoying this! Josh leaned down beside his ear and smirked. "Did you enjoy killing Carl this much? Did you touch yourself afterwards?" He whispered, slipping his hand over his waist and wrapping it around his length. "Do you think about it late at night? Do you think about how his body went still, how everyone in the room screamed?" He continued as he began to match his thrusts with his hand. 

Jim's body flooded with pleasure, his back arching as he let out another moan. "Do you think about when he was thrashing around? How he looked at you before his heart gave out?" He growled, using his free hand to wrap around his throat. "How he pleaded for help?" Jim could barely take it, unable to block out what was happening. 

"Go on, Jimmy... I'll let you..." He whispered, tightening his grip around his throat. His thrusts had become irregular and Jim could tell that he was just as close. Everything seemed to be running in slow motion though. Within seconds of those words leaving his mouth, Jim had came, moaning out Josh's name, which caused him to spill himself inside of Jim. 

He was then tossed to the side, his hip hitting against the wall. "Slut." He spat, zipping up his jeans and grabbing the camera. He smirked as he pressed play, watching some of the video back. "I'll make you a copy. Drop it off around five." He laughed, as the unmistakable sound of the front door opening echoed through the house. "James, you home?" Richard called. 

Jim's eyes widened, as he jumped up quickly getting dressed. Josh watched in amusement, his lips curling into a smile. "Yeah... Just getting changed!" He called back, as footsteps began to grow closer. 

"Alright, Stacy's with me! If you need me, shout." Jim breathed a sigh of relief knowing Richard wouldn't leave his room, when he realised what he had said. Stacy was Josh's current girlfriend. His face was one of pure rage. In one swift move he had Jim pinned against the wall by his throat. 

"Your brother's going to fucking get it, tomorrow." He screamed, throwing the camera onto the bed and laughing. "Maybe I'll film that too." 

The three of them quickly left the room, heading out of the house and slamming the door behind them. "James? That you going out?" Richard called. Jim fell to the floor, his head hitting against the bedroom door as he began to sob. 

"No! I... I had a friend over. They just left." He choked out, forcing himself up despite his bodies protests. "Rich..." He whispered, as he opened the bedroom door, forgetting to put a shirt on. "Richar..." He spoke a little louder, his ears ringing as he began to go into shock. 

He could barely stand as he stumbled towards Richard's room, eventually falling to the ground and blacking out... 

Richard had cleaned him up that night, putting him to bed and keeping a close eye on him. He had also found out about what Jim was going through, after finding the video. He hid the camera in his room, and over the years kept it in case Jim ever decided to go to the police.

Richard had always felt guilty about it, but when Sebastian turned up to pick Layla up that night, he handed the sniper the old camera, allowing him to watch the video as the girl packed.

Jim knew Richard had the camera, he knew why he had it. He didn't mind, so long as no one ever saw it... It made him feel powerful having a reminder of what they did to him, and how he won the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will write about Sebastian watching the video in the next chapter, and we'll have more of Jim and Layla to cheer this up a little...


	7. Conversations.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim finally opens up to Sebastian... And Sebastian can't help but comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment, because I love hearing what all of you lovely little bread sticks think, and translations are at the end!

Sebastian couldn't get the images out of his mind. He had seen the remains of the bruises and cuts on Jim's body. He'd seen the effects that his past had had on him, but this... this was something else. He wished he'd never asked. Seeing Jim... Seeing him in such a state and allowing himself to be treated in such a way... it made him sick. 

"Jim? Layla's here." He called as he entered the apartment. It was starting to get late, and he had decided to stay home that night instead. Jim was unpredictable, but he was glad that Richard had allowed Layla to stay with them. It would hopefully keep Jim at bay. 

The sniper sighed, walking through the apartment and finding the criminal asleep in bed. "Looks like uncle Jim's tired." Sebastian laughed, placing the child down on the floor and sitting beside the sleeping figure. "Jim... Jim... Wake up." He spoke quietly, shaking his employer. 

Layla climbed up, shaking her uncle as well and giggling. "Jim! Jim! 'Ake up!" She laughed, as he began to stir, his eyes fluttering open. Layla smiled at him, lying down and cuddling up to his side. Jim's lips curled into a smile and he pulled her close to him, looking up at the sniper. 

"Thanks for getting her, tiger." He smiled, genuinely... and it broke Sebastian's heart. He understood it now. Why he loved her so much, why she was so important and why he was so scared that she wouldn't be safe. He understood it all now. How could he not be so paranoid? He'd been hurt and abused in his own room! His own school... Everywhere he went someone hurt him. Abused him. 

"It's okay... I'll be in the living room if you need me. I'm not going out tonight, I don't really feel up to it." He shrugged, leaving them together. Jim had told him some of the things he went through, mostly when he got drunk. Richard and their mother had explained a few things as well when he first met them. He never really thought about it much, he knew it effected Jim, but he would never admit to it. He had PTSD from the war, but Jim had it from his whole childhood. His father, his mother, his brother, his first boyfriend. He began to wonder how he could still have sex after everything he went through, how he could trust people like that ever again. 

Jim and Layla stayed in the bedroom, playing with dolls and dressing up. They sang songs and told stories, they danced around and laughed. Their voices carried through the building and lit up Sebastian's face. A large smile spread across his face as he heard how happy they were. A warm feeling growing his chest, and for a single moment he let himself believe he had a family. 

"Sebastian! Be a lamb won't you, make us something to eat." Jim spoke up, carrying the child into the room. He sat up, looking at both of them and the matching smiles on their faces as Jim fixed the tiara on his head. "We want spaghetti, and then we want ice cream." He laughed, carrying her over to the couch. 

"Anything else you want with your spaghetti?" The sniper nodded, standing up and making his way through to the kitchen. Jim looked at the girl and raised an eyebrow. 

"Nuggets?" He asked, and she nodded. So Sebastian began to make them food, pottering about in the kitchen and glancing through to them every so often. He could barely hide the smile that kept threatening to appear as he saw them, their matching tiaras and the makeup covering their faces, the tiny dress hugging Layla's body as she danced around.

Jim smiled at her, holding both of her hands as he sang to her. Random _Disney_ songs and some from musicals he liked, all the while she danced and tried to sing along, despite not knowing the lyrics. His eyes lit up from the joy he felt and he was unable to stop himself from smiling. 

As he began to sing _A Whole New World_ spinning her around and picking her up, he noticed Sebastian watching them. He could see as he fought to keep the smile off his face, hoping to keep himself from going unnoticed by the criminal. 

"Dinner's ready." Sebastian called eventually, placing two plates down at the table. Jim smiled, placing the child down on the couch, and collecting their food. "You're actually going to risk your couch being ruined?" Sebastian laughed, raising an eyebrow. 

"Well we're moving in a couple of days, we won't be needing it anymore." He shrugged, handing the girl her food, and placing a fork in her hand. Sebastian just nodded, sitting in the chair across from them and starting to read the Irish dictionary he had been working through. 

"Conas atá tú?" Jim asked, eating a mouthful of the spaghetti and instantly regretting it. He'd do anything to make the young girl happy though; plus it would keep Sebastian from lecturing him about his eating habits again. Layla sat quietly, watching the random cartoon Jim had left on to entertain her. 

Sebastian went over the words slowly in his mind, translating them in order to understand what Jim had said, and his employer had no intention of translating for him. How are you doing? He eventually worked out, and smiled at him, flipping through the pages and finding the words he needed. "Go mall dul ar ais ann, nach bhfuil sé chomh héasca agus tá sé." He spoke slowly, his sentence slightly broken up as he translated his words. 

Jim laughed and looked down at Layla, her eyes already starting to droop. "Ich glaube, sie wird müde. Ich möchte mit dir reden, wenn sie schläft..." He spoke, switching to German in fear that Richard had been teaching her Irish, although he doubted it. Sebastian nodded, returning to his book as Jim finished his meal. Layla had already fallen asleep leaning against him, her plate carefully placed on the coffee table as she cuddled up to her uncles side. 

Jim smiled, placing his own plate next to hers and picked her up. "You don't mind cleaning these while I put her to bed, do you?" He asked, not giving him a chance to reply, as he left the room. Sebastian sighed, putting his book down and stood up, collecting the dishes and putting them in the sink. He could wash them in the morning, right now he just wanted to sleep and forget everything he had been shown. 

He sat back down on the chair, his own eyes feeling heavy as he waited for Jim to return. His mind continued to wander as he sat there, staring off into space. Images replaying in his mind, the thought of Jim lying in bed crying, the thought of him feeling so bad he had to hurt himself. It repeated in his mind like a bad dream that he couldn't wake up from. 

Jim returned a few minutes later, the tiara gone, and makeup washed off, and his suit replaced with his usual shirt and sweatpants. He smiled at him, leaning against the door frame. "You've seen it haven't you?" He asked bluntly, crossing the room and standing right in front of him. 

"Seen what, Jim?" Sebastian asked, hoping he was talking about something else. Jim shook his head and glared at him though, forcing the older man to look at him. "Yes... I've seen it." He admitted quietly, wanting to tear his gaze away. This was something different. The look in Jim's eyes was terrifying, the way the pupils had dilated and his lips were completely straight, his whole face void of emotion. "Richard..." He started but his voice trailed off as he saw Jim's eyes darken, his breathing slowing right down causing him to look completely calm. 

"How much did you watch?" He asked, his voice low and his accent bleeding through as he looked down at the blond. "Just one? Two? The whole thing?" 

"There's more than one?" Sebastian asked quietly, tearing his eyes away. Jim nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. He sat down on the couch, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. "I won't mention it. I swear." He spoke after a moment, cautiously moving to sit beside him. 

Jim looked up at him, his eyes now filled with tears. "The one with Carl?" He asked quietly, and Sebastian nodded his head. Jim sighed looking down at the ground again and resting his head in his hands. "The first one... Filmed ten years ago..." 

Sebastian nodded, not knowing what else to do, the room filling with a horrible atmosphere. The kind that would usually only be present when Jim was in the basement. "There's eight in total, two of them were classed as snuff films when the police found them... I managed to get them back though. No one knows they exist other than Richard and I. And now you I suppose... I'm not going to kill you for knowing. You're the best sniper I have, and so I'd hate for you to go to waste.

"I will however, need a sort of... insurance. Something that proves you will never tell anyone. You've got two days to come up with something, otherwise I will unfortunately have to take drastic actions." He explained. His voice was weak, but the threat was still terrifying to hear. Sebastian nodded though, and thought about what he could tell his employer, before standing up and heading into his bedroom. 

Jim raised an eyebrow, unsure of what he was doing. Sebastian rummaged around in one of the boxes he had already packed, until he found his laptop. "You can pick one." He spoke simply, as he sat beside his employer again, getting up a list of videos he had. "I'm not giving you any details about them." 

It was only fair after all? Sebastian had seen a video, so Jim should see one as well. An eye for an eye. "How many are there?" He wondered aloud, looking through the list. 

"Twelve." 

"Then I pick the eighth one." He shrugged, starting to become slightly intrigued. Sebastian nodded, selecting the one Jim had chosen and waited for it to load, before pressing play. "Oh! My! God! Is that you?" He laughed when the image loaded, the video beginning to play.

Sebastian's cheeks turned a dark shade of pink as he nodded his head. Jim had tears in his eyes, as he held his sides. "Why were you dressed as a ballerina?" He choked out. Sebastian shrugged, looking down at him glad that he was in a better mood. 

"I was drunk with a few friends from the army... One of them had a ballerina outfit... It was obvious one of us was going to wear it." He spoke quietly, as the video continued. Jim's laughter died down as he continued to watch, a large grin still playing on his lips. 

"You're good. Please tell me you didn't actually learn ballet as a kid?" He pleaded, looking up at him. Sebastian shook his head, laughing a little at Jim's question. 

Once the video ended, Sebastian placed the laptop on the ground by his feet. "Good enough for you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Jim nodded, resting his head against the sniper's shoulder. Sebastian gave him a look on confusion, but allowed him to stay leaning against him. 

Jim stayed silent for a few minutes, just staring ahead at the television. "It started at the swimming pool when I was fifteen. Josh had found out it was me who had killed Carl Powers, and threatened to go to the police if I didn't let him." He spoke up after a moment. Sebastian didn't reply, not sure if Jim wanted him to talk, or to just listen. Jim seemed pretty content with him just listening though, and continued to talk. 

"He dragged me into one of the changing rooms, forced me to wait as my class left, and they opened the pool to the public. Once the room was fairly empty he... Well to put it lightly he had his way with me. I don't remember much of it, I zoned out, the pain was unbearable." He shrugged, speaking as though the whole experience didn't matter to him, as if he was just reading something in the news. 

Sebastian nodded, keeping his mouth shut and his eyes fixed on the smaller man. "It went on for two years. My dad joined too... Well when I say he joined, he would do the same thing to me, but late at night and not as often. He was a drunk so he would usually pass out, or he'd just settle for beating me." 

Sebastian's heart snapped in two, he'd never known that his father had done... _that_ to him. Jim continued to stare off at the television, eventually moving to face the sniper. "I got it over it, evidently. Sex became a tool. I do enjoy it sometimes, but there's very specific things I enjoy during it." He laughed, and stood up. Sebastian nodded, still not quite sure what to say to him. "Would you like to find out?" He smirked, walking to Sebastian's bedroom. 

The sniper sat frozen for a second, unsure of if Jim had actually just asked that, or if he was imagining things. "W-what?" He stuttered out, looking at him with wide eyes. Jim laughed, signalling for him to follow and disappeared into the room. Sebastian stumbled over to his room, finding Jim lay on his back on the bed. 

"Red means stop, Orange means freeze." He spoke simply, sitting up and pointing to him. "Strip, then lye on your back." 

Sebastian didn't need to be told twice, as he quickly removed his clothes and lay back on the bed. Jim smirked, nodding at him, "Two seconds, I need to get something." He laughed, skipping off. Sebastian felt slightly self conscious lying there, completely naked in front of his boss. He felt disgusted with himself, feeling as though he was taking advantage of Jim, yet he couldn't help but feel intrigued about what Jim was going to do. Plus he was incredibly hard now, so it was either this or wank alone in the shower.

Jim returned a few minutes later, a small box of items in his hands as he smiled at the sniper. "We're going to have lots of fun with this, tiger. Do refrain from moving as much as possible, and do not expect me to care much about if you're enjoying this. You can use the traffic lights, but I do not promise that I'll pay them any attention. This can be dangerous, but I will fix you up afterwards. And I expect you to be fully compliant." 

"Yes, sir..." He mumbled, nodding his head. Jim's grin widened as he placed the box on the ground. "Do I get to know what you're going to do though?" 

Jim laughed, shaking his head and pulled out a blindfold. "I'm going to fuck you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go mall dul ar ais ann, nach bhfuil sé chomh héasca agus tá sé. - Getting there slowly, it's not as easy as it looks. 
> 
> Ich glaube, sie wird müde. Ich möchte mit dir reden, wenn sie schläft ... - I think she's getting tired. I want to talk to you once she's asleep.


	8. J-Jim.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian learns very quickly why Jim enjoys sex so much.

Sebastian's hands were crossed at the wrists, above his head, and tied to the bed posts. His eyes were covered with a thick blindfold that stopped his from seeing anything, and his ankles were secured to the posts at the end of the bed. Jim was laughing as he traced over his chest with a dagger, not hard enough to leave any marks, but as a silent promise that he soon would. 

The whole room was silent, echoing Jim's laugh and Sebastian's sharp intakes of breath, each time the knife was trailed over his body. "J-Jim..." He breathed out, just needing to breath the tense silence between them. His arms were tired from being in the same position for so long and his cock hurt from how long it had been ignored. Jim was straddling his hips, his free hand tracing up and down his side. "Please... Jim... I-I need something..." He whined.

Jim laughed and shook his head, leaning down and hovering his lips near his ear. "You get what I give you, and there are to be no complaints." He growled, dragging the blade over his cheek and letting blood seep out through the wound. Sebastian hissed in pain, and gritted his teeth. "You're mine, Sebastian and I decide what you get." He snapped, running his tongue over the blood pouring over his tiger's cheek. 

Sebastian nodded, pulling on the ropes a little. Jim laughed again, and pressed his thumb against the wound, squeezing out more of the crimson liquid. The knife trailed over the side of his neck, a faint red line being left behind in it's wake. Sebastian shivered at the sensation, fear pooling deep in his stomach at the thought of what Jim could do to him. He'd seen the man gut people, turn them inside out and laugh, with no remorse or any sign of regret for anything, other than getting a spot of blood on his tie. 

The knife trailed down further, the pressure growing as it dragged down the centre of his chest, almost as if Jim was preparing to dissect him. The cuts didn't go further than chicken scratches, red lines scattered over his tanned flesh. Jim's free hand trailing over each mark he made, his nails scratching over them and raising on the skin. 

Sebastian tried to keep his breathing normal, he tried to keep completely still. He even tried to stop his hips from bucking when Jim would move back ever so slightly. Jim seemed to enjoy seeing his tiger fight to keep control. He had never thought he would enjoy being cut and hurt. He figured he would have 'Red' by now. 

Jim began to add to the pressure, the cuts starting to bleed ever so slightly, the bright red liquid bubbling up and shining. He smiled, wiping his thumb over the lines and smudging the blood over his skin. "You're going to be good for me aren't you, Seb?" He laughed, throwing the knife to the floor, a loud thud as it hit the ground. 

Sebastian flinched at the sound, his instincts kicking in, telling him something was wrong until he heard Jim's voice. His hands were placed on either side of his chest, as he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, so soft that he was barely even able to feel it. It was the only acknowledgement Jim had ever made of his feelings towards the sniper. He never kissed the people he fucked. He never kissed anyone, but in that moment it was all he wanted to do, even it he would never admit to it. And if Sebastian ever asked about it, he would simply tell him it was to show him he was in control. That he was his. He owned him and Jim could do whatever he wanted to him. 

Sebastian had felt it though, and he fought to keep the smile of his face. The tiny glimmer of hope that Jim felt the same way about him. Though just like the younger man, he would never admit to it, and he would never ask about it. 

Jim leaned back again, getting off of the sniper and stepping on to the floor, his bare feet cold on the wooden flooring. He padded over to the small box of items he had brought in, less than twenty minutes prior and lifted it onto the bed. 

The sniper furrowed his brows as Jim got off him, confused to what he was doing and frustrated at the blind fold. Then the weight of the bed shifted, it wasn't something extremely heavy, and he figured it was probably the box of items Jim had just brought in, his mind wandering to what could be within it, when the faint smell of sweets and sugar drifted around the room.

Jim glanced up at Sebastian from his little box of tricks and smirked. "You'll enjoy this part. It's less... violent." He laughed, which sent a shiver through Sebastian's body, the way Jim's accent thickened and his voice sounded like silk. 

"You're beautiful when you're scared, Sebastian." He spoke quietly, as he moved back onto the bed, sitting atop the snipers waist. "Let's add some more stripes." He smirked, taking a jar of chocolate spread and some strawberries. 

Jim dipped one of the pieces of fruit in the sweet coating, biting into it. "Open." He whispered as he leaned down, placing the rest of the strawberry to Sebastian's lips. The ex-colonel followed his orders, parting his lips as the item slipped between them. "Bite." Was his next command which he once again followed, surprised at Jim's idea of fun. Jim smirked, watching his tiger closely as he obeyed his commands. 

He sat up right again, shifting slightly and threw the rest of the strawberry on the ground, getting another and starting to paint new stripes over the tanned skin. Sebastian smiled up at him, unable to see what Jim was doing, how much he was actually enjoying this. 

He finished painting the lines, placing the used strawberry at the snipers lips again, his lips parting slightly as he bit down on a second piece of fruit. Jim watched him, the way his jaw moved as he chewed the sweet item. It was mesmerising. He leaned down, pecking his lips again and along his jaw until his lips hovered just near his ear. "I told you, you would enjoy this part." He laughed. 

Sebastian shivered again, Jim lips starting to trail down this time, along his neck. Kissing, biting and sucking at the skin until small roses began to appear on his skin. Then he moved along his collar bones, nipping gently at the skin as Sebastian let out quiet hisses. He smirked against the skin, moving to his chest and starting to lick up the chocolate spread. His tongue flicking out against the skin, and lapping up the sweet treats he had painted over his already scarred flesh. 

The sniper writhed beneath him, letting out quiet gasps. Jim enjoyed each sound he made and each and every little movement he made. The harder he tried to stay still, the more Jim would tease him, running his nails over his sides and slowly making his way further down his torso.

Sebastian began to breath a little heavier, his breaths becoming longer as he waited in anticipation. His cock straining and begging for release, but he never wanted this to end. The affection, if only an act, from James was more than he could have ever imagined. The way his tongue danced over his skin, and his feather light kisses tingled against his lips. The feeling of his nails dragging over his sides and the way his skin felt against his own. 

Jim continued down, licking up the last of the chocolate, having situated himself on Sebastian's thighs for easier access. "I want to hear you beg, Seb. What do you want?" He smirked, once the last of the chocolate had been licked up. 

Sebastian bit his lip and shook his head, not know what he wanted, he just wanted more of James. To touch him, feel him against his skin. "You..." Was all he managed to get out, his voice quiet and desperate. Jim smirked, and nodded although he couldn't see it. He smirked and grabbed the jar again, resting it on his waist as he smeared some on his finger, wiping it along Sebastian's length. 

A quiet, breathy moan escaped the sniper's lips, his mouth falling open slightly. Jim laughed at how desperate he sounded, and got off him again, causing the sniper to whine and pull on his restraints. He laughed again, as he removed his shirt, folding it neatly and lying it on top of his gun rack. He slowly removed his trousers next, folding them and lying them on top of his shirt, trying to keep as silent as possible to keep Sebastian from working out what he was doing. 

"James..." He whispered, his voice dripping with desperation as he tried to move and failed. Jim smirked, and pulled his boxers off next, leaving them on the ground. Sebastian continued to whine, every part of his body desperate to feel Jim against him. He was like a drug. Addictive, relaxing, uplifting, depression, soul crushing, dangerous, illustrious. He was his own brand of heroin, and he needed another fix. 

Jim lingered in the corner of the room for a moment longer. His eyes trailed over every inch of the sniper, taking in every little detail. Every scar and bruise, every little imperfection, the tattoo on his hip of a magpie, the way his muscles would tense and how his jaw clenched. Every inch of him was perfection to Jim, he was the type of guy everyone wanted. The guy who girls would lust after, and guys wished they could be, who gay guys would stare at, and straight guys would be jealous of. He was everything Jim wasn't. But he fucking loved it.

He slowly walked over to the bed again, his footsteps light on the wooden floor. "You're still going to be good for me, aren't you Sebby?" He sang, running his fingers over his cheek and down his neck, making his tiger shiver. He nodded his head, leaning into every little bit of contact Jim was giving him. The torture of him only being able to feel the smallest amount of Jim killed him. He wanted everything, and if he wasn't bound to the bed, he would take it. 

He wanted to make Jim happy. He wondered if he would moan, if he would scream or if he would be quiet and only make the slightest of gasps. He had often thought about it in the shower, or late at night when Jim wasn't lying next to him. He had thought about what Jim would be like in a relationship, if he would be loving and caring, or if he would be the same as he is now. If he would cuddle up to him on good nights, as well as the bad. If he would like to be taken on dates, or maybe he'd enjoy staying in. 

This wasn't something he had thought of. He knew Jim enjoyed things being... violent. Dominating. He'd witnessed it within the first week of moving in with him. The way he would hide the bruises on his wrists, or he would hear the quiet yelps from the people he brought home. He could see that Jim enjoyed the violence when they would torture people, or kill people. He would have a sick grin on his face and his eyes would light up, and he'd have Nyx already waiting in his bedroom when they got back. 

Nyx... Jim hated him with a passion, but he looked like Sebastian and he was willing to let Jim do whatever he liked. So a little under a year ago, Nyx became Jim's go to whore. Or _boyfriend_ as Sebastian would insist on calling him. They both understood their relationship though. Sex and nothing more. However, Jim had called him once or twice when Sebastian was away, just to cuddle. Although, he'd never _ever_ admit to that.

Jim situated himself on Sebastian's thighs again, running his hands over his hips. "Yes, Jim... I'll be good..." He whispered, taking a few slow breaths. Jim smirked at him, and leaned down to licking up the side of his cock, and cleaning off the chocolate. Sebastian gasped, pulling against the restraints. 

"Beg for it, Sebby." He whispered, his breath hitting against the sensitive flesh. "I want to hear how desperate you are." 

Sebastian was already panting, desperate for something, anything that Jim would give him. He knew how degrading it would be to beg him, but this was Jim and he always got his way. "P-please, Jim... Please... I... Need you..." He whispered, barely registering what he had said. 

Jim's eyes lit up as he heard the words. He knew Sebastian was just desperate for sex... for release. However, hearing that someone needed him. Hearing those words. Jim, I need you. It made everything in his mind shut off, just for a second and his heart flutter. Everything about those words made him melt. 

He smirked and running his tongue over his cock again, and slowly taking him in his mouth. His thumbs rubbing small circles over his hips. Sebastian was let out a loud moan, pulling hard against the restraints, and letting his head fall back into the pillows. His whole body was tense as Jim bobbed his head, attempting to hold out at least a little longer. 

"Jim..." He breathed out, as the younger man hollowed his cheeks, attempting to keep himself from bucking his hips and choking him. Jim didn't care about getting off himself anymore. This was far too precious. The way he could take Sebastian apart just using his tongue, how he moaned his name and cared enough not to try and choke him, even involuntarily. He couldn't help but watch the way Sebastian moved and reacted. "Jim... please... I need... you... I need... more..." He panted out, biting his lip. 

Jim slowly pulled away from him, and licked his lips. Those words again. He needed him. Sebastian whined at the sudden loss of sensation, as Jim moved off of him. "Don't worry, Seb... Two minutes." He spoke quietly, rumaging around for lube. Which for some reason, Sebastian kept in his wardrobe? 

"Jim... please..." He begged, only making the grin on Jim's lips wider. He lay beside him, quickly pouring it over his fingers. It reminded him of his childhood. It reminded him of his childhood. The way Josh would just expect these things. Yet there was something different about it. Something different knowing this was for Sebastian. That Sebastian wasn't trying to make him do something he didn't want to, he wasn't trying to take control and he wasn't forcing himself onto Jim. 

He quickly prepared himself, as Sebastian continued to whine. The quiet moans escaping Jim's lips only making him all the more desperate. His wrists burning from the ropes and his ankles bruising. He continued to beg, Jim's name being repeated and he could already feel his climax building, before he had even finished. 

"Jimmy... please..." He whispered eventually, and Jim couldn't bare it anymore he was just as desperate. He took a deep breath and slowly moved to straddle his waist again, making quick work of slicking up his cock. "J-Jim..." He stuttered out, breathless. 

Jim slowly removed the blindfold, the bright blue eyes of his sniper staring up at him. He bit his lip, remembering the scars on his skin. The bruises on his skin and the old burn marks. The stripes that covered his back and stomach, and the old finger marks covering his hips. What if Sebastian reded? What if he thought he was ugly? Everything replayed in his mind and he had never felt so self conscious in his whole life. 

Sebastian's eyes trailed over him, a small smile playing on his lips. Jim smiled at him, taking in the sight of his bright blue eyes, as he leaned down, placing another feather soft kiss on his lips. "I want to hear you moan my name." He whispered against his lips, his dark eyes staring into the bright blue of his tiger's. 

He nodded, their eyes staring straight into each others as Jim shifted further down lining himself up, before slowly moving down, his head tilting back. Sebastian let his eyes flutter shut, moaning out Jim's name just as he had asked, not that he could have stopped himself anyways. 

Jim bit his lip, his stomach tensing slightly as he adjusted. "Seb..." He whispered, placing his hands on the snipers chest and looking down at him. "I..." He mumbled, but bit back whatever he was going to say, and began to ride the sniper. Something felt different though. It wasn't like with Josh, hard and fast and painful. It wasn't like with most of his whores where he would zone out, and just get off quickly. It wasn't even like Nyx, where he would imagine it was Sebastian. This was Sebastian. Sebastian Moran, in the flesh. 

Sebastian began to thrust up and meet his movements, skin hitting together and moans errupting throughout the room. Jim was panting, digging his nails into Sebastian's chest as he arched his back. His mind going foggy for the first time without alcohol.

"Jim... I'm..." Sebastian panted, his movements becoming less rhythemic. Jim leaned down, a thick layer of sweat covering both of their bodies. Sebastian's hair was sticking to his forehead, his eyes open and staring at Jim, full of lust. 

They both continued to move in sync, their breathing ragged and heavy. "Seb... Seb..." Jim stuttered out, as he came closer and closer to his climax. Sebastian smiled at him, very faintly. His eyes glistening and skin tinted slightly red. 

"Jim... Jimmy... I..." he stuttered out as he came hard, with a loud moan cutting himself off. Jim followed suit, Sebastian's desperate moans sending him over the edge. His body spasming as he fell onto Sebastian's chest, raking in air and trying to enjoy the moment. 

A moment of pure bliss, a moment in which he could pretend that Sebastian loved him. A moment that he could just hold the sniper in his arms, their hearts beating at the same time, and pretend that he was his. That he could call Sebastian _his_ , and not just in the sense of 'his sniper'. Actually his. 

But the moment was over all too soon. Everything coming back to him at once as he moved off of Sebastian, quickly untying him. 

"Fuck Jim... that..." he panted, as he checked the marks on his wrists. "That was just... fuck..." he continued to mumble, completely exhausted as he lay there. Jim grabbed the lotion he'd brought in with him, rubbing it into the burns that had been left behind and smiling at the blond. 

 

"Jim... leave it, come here." Sebastian sighed, signalling for him to come over to him. Jim shook his head and continued to massage the cream into thhe wounds. 

 

Sebastian sat up, grabbing Jim's wrists and pulling him up. "Leave it... I'm fine. I've had worse." He mumbled, pulling him down next to him and holding him close. "I like cuddles after sex, and you're going to let me." He growled, his voice deep and his accent thicker. If Jim ever questioned his posh upbringing, his accent now would be enough proof. 

 

"Okay..." Jim mumbled, cuddling up close to older man. His fingers tracing over the lines he had just created. The snipers arms wrapped around him protectively. This was the moment he wanted with Sebastian. 

 

"You know, you're beautiful..." Sebastian whispered, tracing his own fingers over Jim's scars. He was exhausted, half asleep already as he stared down at him his eyes half hodded. "I love you, Jim..." he mumbled, leaning closer to him. 

 

Jim's heart was thumping in hs chest, a horrible sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. As Sebastian leaned closer his mind went blank, silence taking over and the bliss returning. His lips pressing against his and molding together perfectly. Their bodys pressing together and eyes fluttering shut. It was perfect, and it was loving and caring, and it wasn't at all Jim. 

Yet this was all he wanted. He wanted nothing more than to be in that moment. A moment of bliss for the rest of his life. That's all he wanted but he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve Sebastian. He was going to be selfish though. He was going to be selfish and keep Sebastian all to himself. 

"I love you, Sebastian." He whispered as they pulled away, their foreheads resting together. Another quick kiss, and another until soon Sebastian had kissed every inch of Jim's lips. 

 

Things weren't supposed to last though, as Layla began to shout for Jim. "Two minutes..."


	9. Morning

Sebastian was cuddled up close to Jim the next morning, his arm wrapped tightly around the smaller man's waist, and his chest pressed up against his back. Their legs tangled together, and fingers laced between each other. It was a strange moment as he thought back to the previous night. Looking down to find them both naked, confirming that last night wasn't a dream. 

Layla had woken up from all the noise they made, thankfully only hearing the bed frame hitting against the wall. So Jim had ended up pulling on Sebastian's dressing gown, and rocking her back to sleep. Which of course meant Sebastian got punished... with several new bruises covering his hips, and Jim's cock in his mouth. Which thinking back, wasn't the worst punishment he could have been given. He did feel guilty about Layla though, and hoped she didn't mention anything to Severin and Richard. 

Jim stirred slightly, shifting in his sleep and burying his face into the pillow. Sebastian thought hard back to the previous night. It was hard to remember anything, due to how intense things were, especially with a knife dragging awfully close to his dick. That's when he remember the three words he had spoken. Those three words he swore he would never, ever let Jim hear. I love you. I love you, those three words that were going to ruin his life, the second Jim woke up. The words he would hold against him. He would use to get his own way.

Jim was manipulating, Sebastian knew that. He never thought he'd actually get something worth blackmailing him with. He felt sick, his heart was racing and his breathing was out of sync. Everything seemed to slow down as he stared at the mop of black hair in front of him. "Calm down, tiger..." Jim mumbled, his accent thick and his voice heavy with sleep. 

He rolled over to face him, his eyes shining a little in the dull light of the winter morning. "I am calm, go back to sleep." He mumbled, as Jim pushed his arm off of him. The bags under his eyes had gotten a little lighter, and Sebastian got the feeling that last night was the first proper sleep Jim had gotten in a while. 

"I'm fine, I'm awake now, and there's work to be done." He frowned, already getting out of the bed. Sebastian hummed a reply, covering his eyes with his arm as he lay on his back. It was very early, and he wondered how Jim was able to get up and start work so early. Sebastian didn't even wake up this early for school. Jim groaned, looking over at the sniper, catching his attention as he peered out from behind his arm. "I'm borrowing a shirt, I don't want to wake Layla." 

"Fine... Anything in that bag is clean." He yawned, pointing to the corner of the room. Jim rolled his eyes as he looked at the bag of clothes, overflowing and falling onto the floor. "I don't see the point in unpacking, only to pack up again and move a week or two later." He mumbled, pulling the blanket over his head. 

Jim sighed, picking out a jumper and pulling it over himself. It was three or four sizes too big, and hung low by his knees, the collar slipping on his shoulder slightly. "Richard said to drop Layla off around one, you don't have anything planned do you?" He asked, rubbing his eyes and crossing the room. 

"No, I'll drive you, don't worry." He nodded. "I want to talk to you afterwards... If that's okay?" Sebastian spoke quietly. He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't even know if he wanted to try and explain his... feelings? He just needed to know if Jim was going to kill him or not. His heart pounded as he looked back at Jim though, his eyes narrowed and his usual scowl taking over his features, even this early in the morning. He looked adorable in Sebastian's jumper though, and he couldn't have looked less threatening. 

"If you're going to waste my time, and try to explain your _love confession_ from last night to me, then now. It's not okay. I simply don't care what you have to say on the matter, however if you have something of significance to tell me. Then you may." He spoke simply, his eyes never once leaving Sebastian's. 

Both of them stared for a long time after, their eyes locked together. Sebastian's heart dropped, his blood running cold and his breath catching in his throat. It wasn't fear, it was heartbreak. Jim really didn't care. He didn't care about him, he was just another whore in his eyes. Nothing more than someone to fuck when Nyx wasn't around. It's not like Sebastian was expecting a love confession, but Jim had told him he loved him last night. He too had uttered those three little words. 

Jim on the other hand, he felt nothing. He had once again locked away his feeling, deep down inside of him. His eyes were cold and emotionless as he stood there, lips pressed tightly together in a straight line and his arms folded over his chest. He was aware how _adorable_ he looked, he just didn't care. He didn't need to be _threatening_. He just needed to pretend he didn't care. He couldn't look weak in front of his employee. Not in this way.

Love was a weakness, it always would be. If he showed sentiment of any kind, it would open up a door of opportunity. They would be a constant target, and he couldn't risk that right now. Not with the game he was slowly setting up. It would crumble and burn, and it was critical that this worked. This would be the biggest thing he'll ever orchestrate, nothing could go wrong, and he couldn't take any unnecessary risks.

Sebastian shook his head and lay back down. "I'll make breakfast..." He mumbled, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. Jim nodded, and left the room, leaving Sebastian to the dark thoughts within his head. The horrible feeling in his stomach, and the tight feeling in his chest. Everything seemed so surreal all of a sudden. Jim had definitely uttered those three words to him last night, he was so sure of it. He had heard him. Those three words. _I love you._ He had spoken them! Sebastian wasn't imagining it! He couldn't have imagined it! 

...Could he?

Jim went to his office and locked the door. He didn't want Sebastian to walk in while he was trying to stuff his feelings back down, deep inside of himself. He didn't want him to hear the frustration as he muttered to himself how stupid he had been when he spoke those three words. The forbidden words. Those words you should never speak, for they will always be lies, weakness and a target. Those three words which once uttered would tear your world apart. He just prayed that Sebastian would never mention it, or even better... would never remember. It had been an intense night after all, an intense moment, he could just claim it was something he said in the heat of the moment. Besides Sebastian had said it as well. 

Jim's mind was so full of thoughts, he didn't even notice when Sebastian had unlocked the door with the emergency key, and placed his breakfast down in front of him. Along with the files he had milling over the previous week. He sighed as he picked at the food, reading over the information. 

His plan was perfect. Nothing could wrong. He just needed to finish a few small details and explain it to Sebastian. He was a critical part of the plan, the man who would make everything run smoothly, and sort out all the kinks. A gun could make anyone comply. Especially with Colonel Sebastian Moran pulling the trigger. His reputation had become one of legend since they had met.

Colonel Sebastian Moran, the man who had shot ten people dead in broad daylight. The man who killed twelve of Jim's men with his bare hands. The man who could take down full army squadrons. He was the only person Jim had ever admired and here he was, sat at his desk contemplating why he didn't just tell him. Convincing himself that it's better this way. It won't hurt him this way. 

Sebastian knocked on the door an hour later, now dressed in his usual jeans and a plain shirt. He looked exhausted and his hair was damp. Jim hadn't even noticed that he'd gotten a shower. "Ten o'clock, sir. You need to take your medication." He spoke quietly, as he walked towards the criminal's desk. "I've made another appointment for next week." He shrugged, as he placed the tablets on the desk, and a glass of water. 

The smaller man nodded, reaching to take the pills. "Call Richard, let him know we'll be dropping Layla off early. I have a few things to do at the office." He didn't look up at him as he took the pills. Sebastian nodded, and picked up the discarded plate, and the pill packets. Things seemed tense between them, and he knew to stay out of the way when Jim got like this. It was only a matter of time until he flipped. He didn't want that happening while Layla was around. 

"I'll go get her up and dressed then." He nodded, as he turned to leave. Jim hummed a reply and stood up, walking around the desk and smiling at the sniper. 

"We have a meeting later tonight, if you're free. You'll need a new identity for it, pick one you haven't used before. If you're not free, I'll get Nyx to join me, who knows I might get lucky and he'll be killed." He laughed, leaning against the front of his desk and crossing his arms. Sebastian nodded, turning to face him again. 

"Nyx called earlier. He asked for you to call him back." He shrugged and left, leaving Jim alone with his thoughts again. He sighed and sat back down at his desk, spinning his phone around on the arm of the chair, until finally deciding to text the whore. He was bored and needed a distraction after all. What's the worst that could happen? 

_[Why did you call? -JM]_ He text, and sat back. He hated waiting for replies. It was tedious. The reason he preferred to call, you couldn't make spelling mistakes and you didn't have to wait longer than a few seconds for a reply. It was easier and more convenient, plus it was more reliable and you could get across how pissed you were. You can't put emotion into texts. It was a pointless invention. Or that was how Jim saw it, Sebastian preferred to text. It meant he always had proof of a conversation and he would be able to go over it if he needed to, he wasn't like Jim who could remember whole conversations word for word. 

_[I was wondering if you needed me for anything, or if I could have the night off? -N]_ Jim sighed at the message when another came through, this time from his sniper. 

_[Busy tonight. Sorry, boss. -SM]_ Jim rolled his eyes and shook his head. He wasn't one to care if someone cancelled their plans, but at the same time he wasn't someone who made plans that could be cancelled. He had given Sebastian the choice however. This only meant he would have to go alone, and he never turned up alone. This would be a first, since his very first day as Moriarty. 

_[You can have the night off. I expect you free tomorrow though. -JM]_ He sent to both of them, and put his phone back down on the desk. There was no point in forcing them to come with him. It wasn't like he was in any real trouble after all, it was a meeting with an old friend. Sherrinford Holmes. 

Sebastian entered his office once again, Layla perched on his shoulders and laughing. "Ready to go, Jim?" He smiled, putting her down on the floor and letting her run over to him. Jim nodded as he picked her up, placing her down on his lap. 

"Just let me get dressed into something that isn't yours." He mumbled, as she hugged him. Her bright blue eyes staring up at him. She had Richard's hair and his smile, his sense of humour and adorable little mannerisms, but she had her mothers eyes. Nothing could compare to them though, except Sebastian's. Sebastian's were beautiful, bright blue like the sky on a perfect summers day, they'd shine in the light and turn a brighter colour and of a night they would be as dark as the sea. They'd light up and sparkle with joy as he peered through the scope of his guns, and when he smiled they'd change again. There was a constant sense of happiness, contentment in them, but looking closely you could see the pain. 

And Jim loved that.

"I'll be back in a moment." He nodded, and placed her back on the floor. Layla frowned and crossed her arms as she looked at him. "Sebastian will get you some sweets while you wait." He sighed, and left the room. He was in no mood to be cheerful and nice. He didn't want to let her go though, and he especially didn't want her to see how he was really feeling. Sebastian could see it though. 

He watched as the shorter man walked past him, the way his shoulders fell and the usual sense of confidence he wore slipped away. The way his hips didn't sway as he walked, and his arms wrapped around his waist in an attempt to comfort himself. His eyes that shifted from mesmerising to empty, black holes of pain and suffering. All he wanted to do was help him, but he knew Jim would never allow that. He knew Jim would rather someone call him an idiot than try and comfort him, so what was he to do? 

"Come on then, Jim promised you sweets." He sighed, and took the young girls hand as they walked slowly through to the kitchen. He picked her up and placed her on the counter as he got Jim's stash of sweets down from a shelf. It was rare Jim ate them, unless he was having a particularly hard day, so it was still full of many different things. Chocolate buttons and Mars bars, lollipops and marshmallows, crisps and cookies. He had everything. 

Jim would usually eat the lollipops when he was out of gum, something to occupy his mouth and keep him quiet. The cookies were for late nights reading over files. Crisps he ate when he was reading a book. Marshmallows for winter, he loved roasting them over a fire and putting them in hot chocolate. Mars bars were his treat, something he enjoyed when he was in a particularly bad mood, usually when something had gone wrong in a plan. And chocolate buttons were his favourite, he ate them all the time, especially on his way somewhere he enjoyed. The park, fairgrounds, beaches, arcades, he was like a child and demanded he had some if he was to go out anywhere for a 'fun day'. 

Sebastian loved those days. 'Fun days'. The way Jim would suddenly shift into this person who smiled and laughed, who would dance and sing for no reason and indulged himself. They were very rare, in three years they had only had four of them. He looked forward to them though, they were always a nice surprise. Just the two of them. And yes, he might have imagined them being on a date once or twice, but no one needs to know that... 

"Marshmallows!" Layla grinned, making a grabbing motion with both hands. Jim laughed as he came into the room, now wearing a light grey suit and black tie. His hair slicked back and the faintest smell of cinnamon from his aftershave. It was Sebastian's favourite. 

The sniper nodded, handing her the bag of sugary treats, and put the box away. "Not a fancy meeting then?" He asked as the young girl began to stuff her face. Jim shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, as he looked up at him, those bright blue eyes staring straight at him. 

"Just an old friend. Nothing very exciting." He nodded, as he slowly walked towards his niece. "Not too many, you'll get a tummy ache, and then your dad won't be very happy with me." He laughed, and kissed her forehead.

Sebastian watched them, a small smile playing on his lips as he leaned against the counter. He thought about Severin, how this must be the way he feels, watching Richard tend to their child and waking up in the morning next to him, cuddled up into his side and smiling. It would never be like that for Sebastian though, he would never have that. Jim didn't love him the way Richard loved Severin, and he wasn't the type of person to be loving, to show affection. He and Jim would always be boss and employee. 

_And that killed him._ Bullets tearing through his skin were less painful. The way his stomach churned at the thought that he would never hold Jim. He'd never go to bed with him, or sit and watch films with him while it rained. He'd never go out to dinner with him, unless it was essential to his work. He'd never make him smile or laugh, unless they were playing a game. He'd never wake up to him and smile because he'd be the first thing he sees. He'd never kiss him, or hold his waist as he made tea. Never be able to just adore him, without being silent about it. 

He wasn't a soppy person. He hated the thought of romance. He hated dates and being stuck with one person. The idea of love. He could live without it all, but when it came to Jim. It was all he wanted. He wanted the maniac at his side, twenty four-seven. He wanted to go out knowing he would be coming home to Jim. Have him by his side as he went on jobs, as they sat waiting for the target, huddled up close in the winter to share Sebastian's eternal warmth and kiss him as the bullet crashed through someones skull. 

He loved the idea of the two of them running hand in hand from the building, the police already starting to arrive as they dive into the car. Their breathing ragged as they just start laughing. Jim's eyes would light up the way they do when he sees blood, and he would be smiling at him. 

Jim Moriarty had ruined him. And he loved it. At least to some extent. "Ready to go, tiger?" Jim spoke up after a moment, crashing through Sebastian's thoughts. He'd been staring at the stove for a good five minutes by this point. "If you're done staring at the stove in a rather disturbing fashion, like something out of 'The Amnityville Horror', then can we leave?" He drawled, rolling his eyes as he threw, the now empty, packet of marshmallows out, and picked his niece up. 

"Yeah... sorry. Let me grab the keys." He mumbled, shaking his head and leaving the kitchen. Jim gave him a concerned look and sighed. 

"Come on, princess. Let's head outside." He smiled as he spun them around, heading out of the house. "We need to get you home."

"No! No home! Stay with Jim!" She pouted, clinging to her uncle and grabbing fist fulls of his shirt. Jim laughed and smiled at her, kissing her forehead again. She grinned and shook his head. "Miss Jim." She mumbled and curled up in his arms as Sebastian joined them, unlocking the car. 

He didn't say anything as he got in the drivers seat, turning the engine on. He seemed different and Jim picked up on it right away. Something was playing on his mind, but what was it? Jim didn't ask though. He never asked. Sebastian probably thought he just didn't care, but the truth was he didn't know how to handle it. Jim was never one of those people who could ask how someone was feeling. He was never someone who would know what to say, or how to comfort someone. He couldn't ask someone what was on their mind, because he wouldn't know how to help them. 

So he stayed quiet. Just got in the back of the car and put Layla in her car seat. He put his seat belt on and sat back, staring out of the window. And that was that. He didn't say anything as they drove. 

_And he regretted every second of that silence._


	10. Sherrinford.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim visits Sherrinford Holmes; alone. To whom he pours his heart out to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end for a beautiful picture of Jimmy, since I worked out how to use this thing finally!

Jim was sat at a desk, a beaten and bruised Sherrinford Holmes sat in front of him. His skin was pale beneath the hundreds of bruises and cuts. "I'm stopping the abuse and bringing in a doctor to look after you. You will get one meal a day, and we will slowly start getting you to eat more and more, until you're able to keep down three meals a day. I'll have a bed and some other items of furniture added to your room. You'll get a shower every day, and go for walks twice a day if you're able to.

"I'm implementing an exercise routine once your strengths up and I'm going to be monitoring you closely. I will instruct each of my guards that they're not to touch you. I'm getting you a phone, you will only be able to call me, and I expect updates daily. If there's anything else you need, let me know." He smiled.

Sherrinford sat there, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open, completely shocked by what he had been told. "You... You're... What?" He spoke after a few minutes, his voice weak and barely louder than a whisper. He seemed to be completely shaken and Jim was enjoying it entirely.

"I am not repeating myself." He snapped, causing the older man to flinch. "I'm going to bring you back from the brink of death. It will take a while for you to recover completely and once you do... You're free to go." He shrugged, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. He was thoroughly enjoying the look of complete and utter terror on Sherrinford's face. The look he had that day he was taken away. The same look Sherrinford had when he saw William at that pool.

"Why?" Was all he said, his eyes suddenly glossing over. He was slowly becoming more scared, visibly shaking and some how growing more pale. And Jim had no sympathy for him. He didn't care.

"I'm bringing you back from the brink of death." He repeated, "I've found a much more fun way to play." He stood up, walking around his desk and stood in front of him. His eyes grew darker as he watched his body tense, his arms coming up to protect his face just like he usually would.

"Don't be stupid, I'm wearing a very expensive outfit today, I'm not going to risk getting blood on it." He sighed, rolling his eyes, as he picked up a plastic bag from beside his desk. "Clothes. I guessed your size, but I should be right." He shrugged, placing it in his lap.

Sherrinford looked down at the bag, hesitating for a moment before he slowly opened it. "Th-Thank you, sir..." He mumbled, pulling the clothes out.

"You have ten minutes to dress, I'm going to get you some water. Would you like anything to eat?"

"No... No thank you, sir." He shook his head and looked up at him, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall at any second. Jim nodded, running a hand through Sherrinford's hair and smiling at him. The older man flinched again, his eyes filling with tears.

"You're safe, don't worry. I'm not going to let anymore harm come to you. Not physically anyways." He spoke softly, as he turned to leave. "I'm taking care of you after years of abuse. Just like you did for me, for a very short time. But what happened after that, Sherrinford? What happened next." He laughed, shutting the door behind him.

Sherrinford scrambled to get dressed, scared to suffer from any kind of punishment Jim might bestow upon him, if he wasn't ready before he got back. He felt sick to his stomach, his mind was swimming with ideas, questions. What would Jim do to him? And why was he being so nice all of a sudden?

When Jim returned Sherrinford was dressed in a plaid shirt, and black jeans. "I brought you a sandwich in case you change your mind." He shrugged, placing the food down in front of him and a glass of water. "Don't feel like you need to eat it though, I understand if you can't or if you just don't want to."

"Thank you, sir." He nodded, looking down at the ground. "I don't understand though, sir."

Jim laughed and sat down at his desk, taking out a pack of cigarettes he had stolen from Sebastian earlier. He had recently taken up the habit, when his sniper wasn't around, the familiar smell of smoke comforting him. "I'm bored with you now. You see I have more important things to focus on. A game to play if you will, and you know how I like my games. Remember the one _we_ played? Where you had to choose. Well now it's Mycroft's turn.

You see he's been causing a bit of trouble for me lately. Dear old Mikey is working for the government now, and he's been ruining my business. Destroying the empire I've spent so long to build. I simply can't have that." He explained, placing images of the man on the desk. "Go ahead, take them. They're yours to keep." He nodded.

"Thank you, sir!" He grinned, snatching the images away and looking closely at each of them. His eyes lighting up at the sight of his younger brother. "He's lost a lot of weight..." He spoke quietly, more to himself than to the criminal in front of him.

"That he has." He agreed anyways. He placed another few photographs on the table after that. This time of Sherlock. "It turns out we made a mistake a few years ago. The great Sherlock Holmes is alive. Yes, he goes by Sherlock now. He's an addict, intelligent though. More so than Mycroft. He's just got into another rehabilitation programme though. Should take about a year. He's got a job with Scotland Yard though, for when he gets out."

Sherrinford looked up at him. His eyes were wide and his jaw hanging open. "H-He's alive?" He spoke quietly, taking the second set of photos. "Y-You didn't... He's... Oh thank you, sir! Thank you for keeping him alive! Thank you so much!" He almost cried, hugging the photographs to his chest and glancing through a few of them. His heart was pounding in his chest and causing his whole body to shake.

Jim placed a cigarette to his lips, lighting it quickly and took a long drag. "He's going to be fine, but you're going to need to be a very good boy for me. Sherlock and I are going to play a game." He smiled, exhaling the smoke and watching as it slowly faded into the air, the lingering smell comforting him already. "You play nice with me, and I'll play nice with him."

"NO! NO, PLEASE, LEAVE HIM ALONE!" He screamed, falling forwards onto his knees and begging, tears streaming down his face. Jim smiled, the sight before him incredibly satisfying. "Please, sir... Do whatever you want to me. Just leave Sherlock alone... Leave William alone... I'm begging you, please sir!" He was sobbing now, and Jim couldn't help but start to laugh, his lips curling into a large grin.

Jim was getting off on this. He was loving every second of it. The way his eyes filled with tears and how he begged. It was better than drugs and sex and murder. Torture was his biggest turn on. He loved every moment of it. How simple it could be, the lasting effects of it, the beautiful noises his victims would make. The crying, the begging, the screaming. It was what he got off on, and here he was... alone.

He took another drag from the cigarette, holding it between his lips for a second as he breathed in the warm smoke. The way it felt as it filled his lungs only adding to the mix of emotions he was feeling as he sat there... When an idea came to mind.

"You caused me a lot of trouble when we were kids," He started, looking away from him, as he rested his feet up on his desk. "What was I? Fifteen? Sixteen? and you? Nineteen? Do you even remember that day? What I was wearing, what I told you? Do you want me to repeat it?" He spoke calmly, his voice completely monotone as he said each word.

"I was wearing grey sweatpants and a jumper two sizes too big. Trainers that were worn down and too old. We went to the park, do you remember? We had left each other there the previous night after getting ice cream. We decided to sit by a pond, see the ducks. You were nice enough to warn me that Josh wanted to see me that day, and that was the only reason I had agreed to go. Thinking back I should have just waited for Josh.

"You asked me about the sweatpants that day too... I told you it was to stop the bruises and cuts from Josh. You didn't believe me though. You deduced everything about me, or at least enough to tell me you weren't as boring as other people. _Ordinary people_. So I told you what happened. I told you how my father had come home drunk that night, how he had raped me and bruised me, cut me and hit me.

"I spent my night crying and screaming, and no one came to help me, and the next day I was arrested. They weren't gentle either. They hit every little cut and bruise. Do you know what happened when I was in prison though? Before the trial? Do you know how many men all tried to fuck me? Tried to kill me? Do you know how I tried to kill myself in prison? How hard it was to get out of the place?

"I was terrified in there. I spent every moment in a bed, curled into the corner with my knees to my chest, shaking and almost in tears. I fought off everyone around me. I became this thing I am today, sitting in front of you. I became a psychotic monster!

"My mother died three years ago. A plane crash. While my brother sat on the couch in my living room, sobbing his heart out and begging for things to be different, I was fine. I was having sex with whores and killing people, simply because I was bored. I didn't care that my mother was now dead, that I'd never see her again, speak to her again. I couldn't care less, because you _broke me._ " He spoke each word sounding completely disconnected, as if he was just telling a story, reading from a newspaper. An eerie feeling to his tale, that reminded him of the moment right before a jump scare in a horror movie. The way the music would speed up and get higher in pitch. The tell tale signs that something was about to happen, a body would drop from the ceiling, a gun shot, rocking chair, ghost, zombie... anything.

But nothing came. Instead he put his feet back on the floor. Stubbed out his cigarette. Leaned forward and smiled.

"It's fine though. I've never really been one to comply to rules. Although a psychopath isn't suppose to feel emotions. They don't feel remorse or love or anything like that. They just are. Yet after three years of knowing Sebastian Moran, I think I might have actually fallen in love." He laughed, his voice suddenly changing to more light hearted and friendly.

"You see, Sebastian isn't like others. He's an ex-colonel, tossed out for friendly fire. He enjoys killing people, and favours the sniper rifles. He suffers PTSD, but enjoys blowing things up. And he's clever. He's very clever. Not you or I clever, but pretty close. And handsome. My God is he handsome. Well I don't need to tell you that, you've met him. Tall, blond, covered in scars. Huge cock, although you wouldn't have known that."

He laughed and stood up, walking around the desk and placing a finger under his chin. "I've never been in love before. Never even looked at a man twice. So I suppose this is what someone would call 'Character Development'. This isn't a film though. I'm not developing. I simply found someone as crazy as I am. Who cares though? Because _you broke me._ So no one will ever be able to love me. They'll never see that I actually do care, I just don't know how to show it.

"See people think I'm not aware of how I am. But I'll tell you a secret. I know it better than anyone. I see how people look at me. The fear. The hatred. I see everything. I've felt it all first hand. You see broken people recognise other broken people, and they can spot the tell tale signs. The way people look at me if how I looked at my father. Josh. The other men in the prisons.

"I'm violent, I don't show emotions, I enjoy torture, I like murdering people, I revel in the idea of power and I find it funny when people get hurt. That's pretty fecked up isn't it? I know it is. I'm the monster people tell their kids about, the man they write about in their horror films, the freak you see on the news!

"I used to love this film, you might have seen it. _The Princess' Bride._ There's a quote, I still remember it, and I always felt like the man he (Cary Elwes) described. To the pain, the quote is known as. You see he's about to fight the main villain of the film, you know how they do. _The big battle_ at the end of a film, where the good guy wins." He waved his hand in dismissal, and walked behind him, his hand dragging down his neck and over his shoulders. "TO THE PAIN!" He screamed, slamming his hands down on both Sherrinford's shoulders, as the older man flinched.

"First you loose your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Nose. Eyes are next. Ears are the only things you keep, so that you hear every shriek, every baby crying and every person crying out; _'Dear God, what is that thing?'_. To. The. Pain." He spoke in a dark tone, dragging out each syllable. The way his tongue flicked out over his lips at the end gave him the Hannibal Lecter vibe, only terrifying the other man even more. His body shook and he couldn't look at him.

"To the pain leaves you as a horrible monster... exactly what I am today. So thank you." He whispered, walking around and taking his hand. "Bless you."

That was the last thing Jim said, as he left the office, leaving the elder Holmes brother stunned. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he felt like he was about to throw up. Nothing seemed real all of a sudden and all he wanted was to die. Out of everything Jim had ever done to him, that was the most terrifying of them all.

Jim on the other hand was fine. He shoved his hands in his pockets, carried out all his promises and made his way back to the helicopter. _[I'm on my way home, do you need me to pick anything up? -JM.]_ He smiled as he sat in the 'metal death trap, flying machine' as Sebastian had dubbed it. He had a game to play after all. Two new toys to carry out his plans on. Why wouldn't he be cheerful?

William Sherlock Scott Holmes, the addict turned consulting detective.

Mycroft Holmes, the Government man who never knew what to quit.

**THE GAME IS ON!**

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is unedited. I think it works better that way, so there may be a few mistakes, but I did fix the spelling errors at least. However, since it's supposed to mainly be just Jim speaking his mind, I figured it would work better unedited as it was written in one sitting, and is just a trail of thoughts about how Jim's feeling. I hope you like it.


	11. Moran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moran isn't having the best night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place just after Jim left Sherrinford

Sebastian had decided to go out for the night. His army friends were in town, and after cancelling on them the night before, he had decided to join them.

"Sebastian!" One of them yelled, signalling him over. He hated them already. Three years had passed since he last saw them, and they were coming to the end of their term. And for that... he resented them. He misssed the army. He really did. Sometimes he even wished he was still there. Hiding from the enemy, an endless stream of bodies falling at his feet. The way people would scream as the light slowly left their eyes. The bullets tearing through their skulls, and the blood soaking through the soil or sand. It was his bliss.

Of course working for Moriarty had it's perks. There wasn't nearly enough death though. Moriarty kept him for special jobs. Specific jobs that took training and a trust worthy employee. Who else could be more trustworthy than the man who shares a bed with him on a fairly regular basis?

He ordered a drink before joining them at the table. His best friend during his army career, Erik, sat beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Alright, Colonel?" He asked, already slightly drunk. Sebastian smiled at him and sipped his drink.

He didn't have many friends in the army. He was hated for how hard he was on them, but the few who actually bothered to get to know him understood his reasoning for it. He worked them hard, but he kept them alive, and not once in the three years he was Colonel did he ever lose a man. That was his biggest achievement. Keeping all his men alive. It was the reason the other Colonel's hated him, and why Moriarty had taken such a shine to him.

Erik was his closest friend. He was a couple of months younger than Moran, his long dark hair and bright green eyes a stark constrast to the colonels blond hair and blue eyes. They had met during training and become fast friends, bonding over their shared loved of motors and firearms. They'd even taken a liking to languages, aiming to learn the language of each place they stopped during their tours. 

Beside him was Eoin, Irish decent but born in Sheffield. He was the oldest in the group, and was the longest serving having joined a year before Sebastian. He had a thick Irish accent, mostly from his parents homeschooling him. He was intelligent much like Jim, and vain, much like Jim. The only difference being he was ginger with blue eyes and very mucular. 

Spencer was beside him, sitting on the table with his back to Sebastian. He was the youngest of the group. Shy and not usually one to drink unless it was one of these rare occasions. He was sensible and Sebastian often found himself questioning why he'd be friends with someone like him. He was a good friend though, someone he could actually have a conversation with; even when sober.

Jack was next he was the shortest serving member of their group, having been drafted in only months before Sebastian was let go. He smirked as he looked at him. Another Irish man, short dark hair, brown eyes, strong but not muscular build, thin and well groomed. Just like Jim. He was handsome in Sebastian's opinion, but well... Sebastian had a type. And he still wasn't Jim, even if they did share some qualities. 

Finally there was Ewan. Scottish. Tall. Handsome. Smart. He'd joined only for the education, and ended up doing more than just one tour. Sebastian had met him on his first day. They'd become good friends after getting drunk together that night, and somehow continued to drink together years later. 

"Alright, lads?" Sebastian annouced as he sipped his drink catching their attention. They had always been taught to answer to the colonel, therefore even when they were in the pub together, and although he'd lost that title, they were still conditioned to answer him. 

"Sebastian! Good to see you mate! What have you been up to?" Spencer asked, his words slurring together and obviously drunk already. Afterall they had been there an hour before he turned up. 

Sebastian smiled, crossing his arms. "Not much, Spence." He shrugged, smirking a little. He'd never admit it, but he loved the power he had over them because of the way they had been conditioned. He was just greatful that they weren't able to get inside his head. Only Jim could do that; and he was bloody good at it. 

"Got yerself a lass yet, Basher?" Ewan asked, elbowing him slightly. Sebastian shook his head and laughed, wrapping an arm around Ewan's shoulders. 

"Not really any interesting girls around here," he smirked, causing Erik to hit his shoulder. 

"If I'd have known you were into guys in the army I'd have jumped on you in a second!" He annouced, causing the others to look at him with wide eyes. Sebastian just shrugged and sat back, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and placing one between his lips. 

"Not guys, sorry to disappoint you Erik, just one guy." He spoke as his phone went off. 

[On my way home, do you want me to pick anything up. -JM]

Sebastian couldn't help but smile a little. Jim never asked if he wanted anything, and he never text him to say he was coming home unless he was in a good mood. So maybe tonight he wouldn't get called home because he'd set fire to he living room. 

"Is that him?! Is he coming here? You should invite him!" Erik laughed, elbowing him in the side. He shook his head and went to put his phone away when Eoin snatched it out of his hand. 

"JM?" He questioned, quickly searching through his phone. "Is this him?" He asked turning it around and showing a picture of Jim with a small cat that he'd taken a few days before. 

He nodded and blushed a little as he stood up. "My round, who wants what?" He sighed, deciding to try and get away before they started to take the piss too much. 

"JM says he wants scotch." Spencer said, looking over Eoins shoulder and reading the text. 

Sebastian's eyes went wide as he looked at them both. "You didn't invite him did you?!" He panicked, to which they all laughed, Eoin nodding his head. 

"Of course I did. We want to meet the sod who stole your heart." He smirked, crossing his arms as the phone went again. "He says that he's got some good news for you." 

Sebastian's heart was in his throat as he ordered the drinks and carried them back to the table, his hands shaking and almost dropping them. Thankfully, or maybe not so thankfully, Jim swooped in just in time, taking the tray of drinks from him and placing them on the table. 

"J-Jim?!" Sebastian stuttered out after a moment, to which the criminal could only smile and laugh. 

"Well it isn't Richard." He smirked, already delving into conversation with his friends. Sebastian sat on a stool beside him, still in shock that the man had managed to change his whole personality and look with just a few small tweeks. 

The plaid shirt that looked at least a size too big and black jeans, the simple black hoodie and leather ankle boots. The way he'd messed his hair up a little and shaved away the three day old stubble. The bags under his eyes covered with makeup, blended flawlessly. It was as if he was looking at a whole different person. It was terrifying. 

"Okay... so Eoin, Ewan, Spencer, Erik, Jack and Basher." Jim said pointing to each of them as he tried to learn their names, purposly messing up two of them and running his hand through his hair.

Sebastian laughed and sipped his drink. "Close enough James." He mumbled, and Erik looked at him. 

"So he does have a name!" He teased, and Sebastian had only just realised he hadn't introduced him yet. 

"Y-yeah... this is James... er... Jim?" He stuttered out, as the criminal shot him a glare.

"Preferably Jim." He smiled kindly and took his drink, leaning back in his seat. "James is too formal." He sipped at his drink and made a habit of pulling on his sleeves to seem kind of nervous. 

"This is Jim." He smiled to his friends, surprised that his boss was acting so normally. 

Of course this meant that Eoin was instantly asking the younger man many questions. "So Jim, where ya' from?" He started with and he could tell Jim would start to get irritated, but there was no way he could stop Eoin asking questions...

"Just outside of Dublin, but we came here when I was eight." He smiled, and Sebastian relaxed a little at the simple answer Jim had given.

Next was Erik's turn to ask a question though. "You straight Jim?" He asked, jumping straight to personal questions. Jim just laughed and shook his head, kindly explaining that he was gay. 

"So Jim, d'ya liv' wit' Sebastian?" Ewan spoke up as he finished what looked to be his fifth pint, going by the empty glasses left in front of him. 

Jim smiled and nodded, making himself look slightly nervous and looking to Sebastian as if asking for help. He was impressed by the younger mans acting skills, even more so than by Richard's over the years. "Yeah. He's a nightmare to live with though." He mumbled, and Sebastian nodded towards the bar.

"Come on, I'll buy you another drink..." he sighed and stood up, glaring as the others began to smirk at him. Jim raised an eyebrow but shrugged and followed after him, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets. "What _are_ you doing?" He asked as Jim stood beside him. 

"What ever do you mean, Sebastian? I'm just being friendly." 

"You _aren't_ friendly, Jim. You're annoying and rude and make threats. So I repeat, _what are you doing_?" Sebastian hissed, before getting the barmaids attention and ordering them both another drink. 

The smaller man shrugged, his dark eyes returning to their usual tired and empty state. "It's been a good day. I thought I'd be nice..." he laughed and picked the glass up, running his finger over the edge. 

"Well stop. It's fucking scarier than when you have one of your little episodes." He growled, and picked up his pint glass walking back to his friends. 

Jim felt defeated. He thought Sebastian would appreciate his efforts, he thought he'd at least want him to not piss of his friends. Was he doing something wrong? He sighed and turned back to look at him for a moment, but the smile he wore as one of them made a joke broke him. He was insane to think he could be _normal_. 

He finished the drink and headed to the bathroom. He felt horrible with himself. Alcohol had calories in it, and he had already had too many of those. Plus he couldn't risk getting drunk, he'd end up spilling his guts to Sebastian. 

Jim stood in front of the mirror. He looked normal. No dark purple bags under his eyes, his hair was slightly imperfect, he didn't look as pale and his clothes weren't expensive. So why was Sebastian upset? His eyes trailed down and his whole body made him feel sick. He'd covered his scars with makeup, his bruises... He looked normal! He'd even tried to smile... to be nice. 

He hid in one of the stalls as someone came in, biting down hard on his lip. He wanted to run, to hide and never come back. He wanted to be alone in bed. He wanted Richard... no... he wanted Sebastian. He wanted to go back to this morning when he was wrapped in his arms. When things seemed okay. 

"Jim? You in here?" He recognised the voice as Eoin's but stayed quiet. He didn't like new people, and Sebastian hadn't liked the way he was acting, so maybe they didn't either... maybe he'd ruined things for Sebastian? 

Thoughts whirled around in his head and he began to grow anxious. It took all he had to stop himself from running, because the great James Moriarty wasn't scared. He was strong. Heartless. Evil. He was a psychopath. That's all he was. 

"Jim, it's Eoin. Sebastian asked me to make sure you're not throwing up." he spoke softly, his accent bleeding through and it somewhat comforted him. The way he sounded reminded him of Richard. "Jim, I really need an answer. Sebastian's not going to be happy if I leave you to choke on your own vomit."

He sighed and opened the stall door, the makeup from under his eyes having been washed away, from tears he didn't know he'd shed. Eoin shook his head and pulled him into a hug. "He mentioned you have a few mental illnesses... he didn't say what. I offered to come speak to you." He mumbled quietly. 

Jim tensed in his arms, but hugged him back as he began to sob. He felt completely pathetic by now, but the accent and the affection... it was all too much and reminded him of his childhood. He was supposed to 'act normal' right now anyways, this is what normal people do... _right_?

" 'm sorry... I jus' need t' go 'ome..." he whispered, but Eoin shook his head. 

"Jim, you're not going home. What you need a good old Irish pub and a friend. Right now you've got me." He smiled and looked at him. Jim suddenly relaxed, the word friend had never been associated with him. Even Sebastian didn't call him a friend. He was just a collegue. His boss. Employer. "I know a great place only a couple roads away. Would you join us?" 

He nodded and wiped his eyes, and Elin smiled. "Great! Let me help you fix yourself up first though. I'm sure you don't want makeup running down your face." He laughed, and Jim couldn't help but smile a little himself. 

They spent another few minutes in the bathroom as Eoin helped him reapply the makeup. He even cleaned up the tears on his face and kissed his forehead, before taking his hand and leading him back to the table. "So Sebastian had this fucking tutu on, drunk, completely off his face and dancing around the room. Remember he was a colonel by this point, supposed to be _setting an example_ , and who should walk in? The fucking captain. He was fucking livid!" Eoin laughed as they sat back down at the table. 

Jim was in a much better mood by this point, his lips turned up into a smile and his eyes actually looked like they had some life in them. Sebastian smiled as he saw them, and glared playfully at Eoin as he heard the story he'd been telling Jim. "At least I wasn't the one dressed as Peter fucking Pan!" He smirked and Jim looked to Eoin with an amused look. 

"I have a picture of that!" He spoke triamphantly, taking his phone out and turning it to show Jim. He laughed and looked between them both. 

"Pink isn't your colour, Sebastian..." he mumbled, finishing Sebastian's pint. He glared, but softened his look as he saw the slight tear marks left on his neck. Eoin pulled him away before Sebastian had a chance to question it, the rest of the group following the two Irish men. 

•••

The group ended up singing as they walked through the streets. Eoin and Jim walking hand in hand and singing at the top of their lungs, swaying a little and dancig around each other. Ewan and Spencer behind them and Jack filming the Irishmen. Erik walked beside Sebastian with his arm around his shoulders. 

"Seems he's taken a liking to Eoin. You might be out of luck, Basher." He sighed, watching his friends as they lead the way. 

Sebastian nodded, refusing to look at Jim. How could he have been such an idiot? He knew Jim had done this for him. He had tried to be nice for once. Not wanted to cause any problems for Sebastian, and he'd thrown it back in his face. He'd made the man cry, and Jim wasn't one for crying over nothing. "Seems so..." he mumbled to his friend.

"I'm sure you'll be able to figure something out. No one could risist those blue eyes before." He smirked and elbowed him as they got to they got to the pub. 

Sebastian smiled as he looked at it, remembering that first night he'd met Jim, the alley just to the side of it. Blood still stained the floor from his kill, and he remembered the look in Jim's eyes as he looked up at him. The way the mood reflected in his eyes. "Come on, Basher!" Jack called, bringing him out of his memories. 

Jim and Eoin were already drinking, both of them in deep conversation at the bar. Ewan handed him another pint and smirked. "Get over there before Eoin steals your man." He laughed and dragged the rest of the group off to a table in the back. 

Sebastian couldn't do it though. He didn't want to ruin Jim's night more than he had. So he finished his drink, and sat with Erik.

"Come on, Basher! You're normally more confident!" He frowned and looked back at Jim who was now doing shots with. He laughed and Sebastian looked over at him. 

"I think I fucked up." He shrugged as Jim laughed having won their little contest. Eoin grabbed his waist and carried him over his shoulder to the rest of the group, before plopping him down on Sebastian's knee.

"I brought you a gift!" He laughed and Jim suddenly kissed him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck. He sat stunned for a moment before kissing back, his arms snaking around his waist and pulling him closer. 

The whole group grinned, Erik patting Eoin on the back. "Seems you're not always full of yourself." He laughed, as Ewan placed another round of drinks on the table. 

Sebastian pulled away and smiled at the smaller man a little. Neither of them were too drunk yet, and they'd both remembee this tomorrow. However, he couldn't help but feel like it was all a part of his character.

Jim looked up at him though, his large doe eyes staring at him and shining. There was something there, that emotio that had been hidden behind everything. "I love you, Sebastian Moran." He whispered, and Sebastian could see Jim reverting back to himself as he said it. He wasn't acting. This was Jim. 

"I love you too, James Moriarty." He smiled and kissed him again. Eoin and Erik smiled at them before tapping their shoulders. 

"We don't mean to interrupt but we're here to get drunk. So get those down your necks." Eoin smirked and winked at Jim as he took his drink. Sebastian laughed and took his pint, keeping one arm around Jim's waist possessivly. 

Spencer had Sebastian's phone in hand still and snapped a few pictures of them. They'd never seen Sebastian with such a genuine smile. They'd never seem him so relaxed. This was something they wanted to remember. 

•••

After another couple of rounds, Jim and Eoin ended up dancing on the tables. They were laughing and swaying a little, their eyes lit up with joy. Sebastian wasn't as drunk as usual, keeping his head somewhat clear in case he needed to jump into action. Spencer and Jack had gone home, too smashed to stay out and Ewan was throwing up in the bathroom. 

They didn't usually drink in the Irish pubs, none of them had the tolerance to drink more than two pints there. Other than Eoin of course who had grown up drinking Irish liquor; and Jim now that he'd wormed his way into their group. 

Sebastian couldn't help but grin as Jim danced over to him, still the most sober in the group. His makeup had rubbed off again over the course of the night, and Sebastian smiled as he ran his thumb under his eyes, removing the last of it. 

"Beautiful." He whispered and kissed him gently. Jim smiled at him and laughed shaking his head. 

"You're drunk." He mumbled, tapping his chest. "Look awful." He laughed, as Eoin joined them both, sitting atop the table. 

"You're both sickening." He smirked, as Jim stuck his tongue out at him. Sebasatian laughed and kissed his neck. 

"Well it's better than actually being sick. We should probably get Ewan home." Sebastian shrugged. Jim rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes, his lips curled up into a small smile. 

"Erik and I'll get him home, you and Jim get going. We're at least two hours away from here anyways," Eoin spoke finishing the last of his drink before kissing Jim's forehead. "You treat him right." 

Sebastian couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Jim being given an order. If he wasn't trying to be so nice he'd have shot him where he stood. "I will..." he mumbled, obviously tired and clinging to Sebastian's shirt. "My army boy..." he laughed, and Eoin smiled at him. 

"We'll be home in a few weeks. We'll have to go out again." He smiled and ruffled Sebastian's hair. "And bring him with you. We like him." 

Sebastian couldn't help but smile as Eoin walked away. "Come on, Jimjam let's get you home..." he sighed and picked him up, carrying him outside. 

Jim stared up at him, his large doe eyes glistening in the moon light. "Do you mean it, Seb...?" He spoke almost childlike, his eyes flashing with a look of insecurity, something Jim rarely ever showed. 

"I do, Jimjam. I love you." He whispered, kissing his forehead as they got into a taxi, and Sebastian kind of missed when they had someone to drive them around. "I promise." He added as he placed him down on the seat, sitting close to his side and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

He mumbled the address to the driver and sat back as they started their journey. Jim was still fighting off sleep, his eyes falling shut every so often. 

"Seb..." he whispered, and stared up him. "Can I sleep with you tonight? Like... like when I have an episode?" He looked away as soon as he said it, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. 

Sebastian smiled, slightly shocked that he knew about those nights. That he remembered them. He kissed the top of his head and nodded, as Jim cuddled into his side, swinging his legs over Sebastian's to make it easier for him to carry him. 

"I love you, James Moriarty." He whispered, as Jim fell asleep. It seemed like a dream and he feared that tomorrow he would wake up and Jim would push him away. He couldn't help but dread waking up in the morning.

For now though... for now he would enjoy what he had. Jim in his arms and a smile on his face.


	12. Hangovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sebastian wake up in two very different states. Irish liquor is not a good idea.

Jim woke up early, wrapped in his body guards arms and wearing nothing but one of the larger mans shirts. He smiled at the warmth surrounding him, the familiar scent of Sebastian's aftershave, although mixed with the scent of the bar. He thought back to the previous night, how they'd both admitted their feelings to each other. The way they'd laughed and joked and danced and sang.

He remembered everything that had happened the previous night, and suddenly felt his heart snap in two as he thought about whether Sebastian would as well. Would the larger man tell him it was just a drunken joke? He was only doing it because his friends were there? He couldn't help the panic that set in, his heart pounding in his chest as he thought about how Sebastian would react now that he was sober. 

The older man however was thinking the exact same things. His mind racing with just as many insecurities as Jim was having. He tried to keep his heart rate somewhat normal, and held tightly to the smaller man. He knew the moment wouldn't last forever, he'd eventually have to let go and Jim would probably walk away from him, telling him it was just a part of his character for the night.

The smaller man started struggling slightly as he had become too warm. The thick blanket and shirt, mixed with his employees body-heat was suffocating him. "Sebastian..." He whined, causing a pain to shoot through the snipers head as he suddenly noticed the hangover he had. He groaned and nodded, knowing he'd probably want him dead now. That this was it, the end of a relationship that never even started, when Jim spoke again, "Sebastian it's too warm..." 

Relief flooded through him as he realised all he wanted was to cool off. Sebastian let go off him and yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry, boss..." He mumbled, and Jim couldn't help but long for his tiger to be wrapped around him again. He needed to cool down though, and therefore opted to get up and make them both some coffee. 

Jim had long since stopped suffering from hangovers thanks to the constant drinking through out the years. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for his sniper, who was groaning at the bright light entering through the window. The brunet padded over silently, careful not to fall over the many items on the snipers floor, and closed the curtains for him. The light being cut off suddenly and causing Jim to realise he had no idea where anything was, and step on a few things as he stumbled to the bedroom door. 

"I'll make breakfast if you bring me some pain killers..." Sebastian offered, and Jim nodded as he left the room. Sebastian buried his face in a pillow, feeling as though his head was caving in, the throbbing sensation making him feel sick. He took a few deep breaths, and balled his hands into tight fists as he tried to bare with the pain, when Jim came back. 

He carefully situated himself on the bed, careful not to cause any pain to his sniper and tapped his shoulder. "Pills, Seb." He whispered, keeping his voice as soft as possible, as he held the small white tablets out to him. He felt sympathetic, wanting to help his sniper as much as possible, and gently kissed his head.

Sebastian smiled a little and held his hand out as Jim popped the two white tablets into his palm. "Thanks..." He mumbled, swallowing them dry. Jim nodded, as Sebastian hid his face in the pillow again waiting for them to start working. 

Jim played with his hair gently, running his fingers through it and across his neck, causing his tiger to relax. He turned his head slightly to look up at him, his bright blue eyes shining in the dull light, and Jim couldn't help the smile that appeared. "I've sent someone to get breakfast... I figured you could do with staying in bed a little longer." He sighed, and Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him down beside him. He laughed, and cuddled up close to him. 

"Then you're staying with me." He mumbled and kissed his neck gently. They stayed there for a few minutes, just enjoying the silence and being with each other. Their minds racing with thoughts, when Sebastian took a deep breath and lifted Jim's chin slightly to look up at him. "I really meant it, Jim. I love you..." He whispered and Jim grinned widely. 

"I love you too, Moran." He spoke simply, trying to pull him closer. " _Don't_ throw up on me." He added, closing his eyes and burying his face into Sebastian's chest. Sebastian laughed and shook his head, pulling the smaller man closer and kissing the top of his head.

"I wouldn't dream of it, boss." He whispered, and closed his eyes again. "You realise that your brother and Severin have just won a bet though." 

"Not if we don't tell them. Two more days and we win." He laughed, digging his nails into his chest and causing him to hiss in pain. "On the other hand, we probably won't see them for another two days." He smirked, and bit him. Sebastian laughed and nodded in agreement, running his fingers through Jim's hair.

"You're a handful, but don't you have Nyx to sort out?" He mumbled, trying to pry him away a little. Jim laughed and shook his head, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. "He isn't going to take too kindly to... whatever this is." 

He shrugged, turning to look at him, as Moran wrapped an arm around his waist. He wasn't letting Jim go for as long as possible. "What is this?" Jim asked, allowing insecurity to fill his eyes for a moment. He could see that the man had been hurt before, and he'd have bet anything that it was by Sherrinford. He had seen the many whores he brought back just to have them killed. The previous body guards that he had fucked and left to die on the street. The way he would refuse to call them his _boyfriend_ , and he'd get annoyed if any of them dared to fuck other people. They were exclusive. Even Jim wouldn't fuck anyone else. _He_ was exclusively theirs and _they_ were exclusively his.

Which only caused Sebastian to grow slightly nervous when he thought of Nyx. When he thought of himself. He knew Jim slept around, he knew he would end one ' _relationship_ ' just to jump into another. He was unpredictable and never let himself get attached. Sebastian was probably the only person that had lasted longer than a few months in this job, and he didn't want to ruin that. 

It took him a moment to realise that Jim was still waiting for an answer, his large doe eyes staring up at him. "I don't know, boss. What is this?" He shrugged, kissing his forehead when the doorbell sounded. 

"I'll get it." Jim sighed and got out of the bed, pulling on a jacket and going to answer the door. Sebastian watched and smirked a little, the way the shirt fell off his shoulder and was large enough to reach half way down his thighs. His hair was a mess and his eyes were dark and still heavy with sleep, but he looked relaxed. 

As he opened the door the atmosphere changed. The tall, muscular blond who was usually around stepped into the house, pushing Jim up against the wall so he was out of view from Sebastian's bedroom door.

"Nyx, get off me..." He groaned, pushing against him as he started to kiss his neck. He and Nyx weren't a couple. He was just good in bed. He couldn't get rid of him though... Nyx knew things. Nyx had things in place for if Jim ever tried to get rid of him, but he had Sebastian now. He couldn't hurt Sebastian either, especially since it had only been a few hours since they admitted their feelings for each other. 

He continued to try and push him away, but Nyx was stronger than he was. Nyx laughed and bit his ear gently, "Go get on the bed." He whispered and Jim shook his head. 

"Sebastian! Sebastian, please help me!" He begged, and Nyx clamped a hand over his mouth. Sebastian got up, ignoring the pain in his head and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"He said to get off him." He growled, and Nyx turned to face him, his eyes narrowed and gritted his teeth. It wasn't as intimidating as when Jim did it, but it was still scary. Especially, with his hand at Jim's throat, using his whole body weight to pin him against the wall. 

Jim gave him a pleading look, his heart visibly pounding in his chest. His eyes started to water, and he could see the fear in his eyes, a type of fear Jim only showed when he was lost in his head. The fear he felt when he could see and hear his father and Josh. Jim was scared of Nyx and Sebastian finally understood why he wouldn't call him his boyfriend. 

He walked over and stood in front of the man, only a couple inches taller than him and stared straight into his eyes. "Let. Go." He spoke calmly, and Nyx dropped him. He was coughing and gasping as he fell to the floor, and Sebastian quickly grabbed Nyx by the shirt collar. "Come near my house again, I won't need orders to kill you. Get out." He growled. 

"I'll destroy you, James. Just wait. Everyone you love will die." Nyx laughed, and Sebastian quickly punched him in the face. A loud crack sounded as blood began to pour from his nose, his eyes watering. 

"Just get out, Nyx... please..." Jim begged, slowly getting up from the floor. 

"Fucking psychos!" He screamed, leaving the house. Sebastian quickly checked Jim over, placing his finger under his chin and tilting his head back. There was a few bruises forming on his neck, but there was no severe damage. 

He kissed him gently and picked him up, carrying him over to the couch. Jim wrapped his arms around his neck, hiding his face. "Thank you..." He whispered, as they sat down, Sebastian holding Jim close to his chest. He rubbed small circles on his back and rocked him gently as he tried to calm him down. 

"You're okay, James... You need to tell me what's going on with him though." He sighed, and Jim shook his head trying to pull himself together. He hated feeling weak and insecure, especially in front of people. He was James Moriarty, Londons most dangerous man. He should be strong. He sighed and took his hand, running his hands over his knuckles. 

"Things started out okay, he was just a whore. I fucked him, payed him, left him. Then he... he wanted more. He had feelings." He gagged at the use of the word, which caused Sebastian's heart to drop. "He wanted me to feel the same, I couldn't do it though... I only chose him for how he looked... I tried to tell him no, but he wouldn't listen. He managed to get some information... Information that will destroy everything I worked for... That will destroy me." 

He put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths before standing up. "I have work to do... Do you mind going on a couple of hits?" He sighed, as he made his way towards his office. 

"Sure, boss. Whatever you need." He nodded, "I'll get a shower and get dressed. Leave them on the table." 

"Thank you," He mumbled, running a hand through his hair and rubbed his neck.  

"Would you like to join me?" He tried, offering a hand to him. Jim looked at him for a moment and shook his head. Sebastian nodded and kissed his forehead, cupping his face in his hands and ran his thumbs over his cheeks. "If you need me, just call." 

He nodded a little and forced a small smile, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I'll um... I'll cook tonight..." He mumbled, hiding his face in his chest. Sebastian smiled and kissed the top of his head. "Go shower, you smell like a brewery." 

Sebastian laughed and shook his head, "Alright, I'll see you in a little bit. I'll pick up some of that whiskey you like..." 

"Sounds good." He sighed, and kissed him before disappearing into his office. 

Sebastian wandered off to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He was still amazed by the size of the bathroom. He was the son of a Lord, but this was still more than he had ever had. Although that may be because he lived in the stables most of his life, it was a better alternative than spending time with his father. 

He quickly removed his boxers and stepped into the shower, switching on the hot water. His body began to sting from the heat, quickly going a light shade of pink compared it's usual tanned colour. He stood there for a few minutes, smiling to himself as he thought about Jim. His Jim. Maybe Severin was right. 

"Seb?" A quiet voice spoke up from the other side of the door. 

"Yeah, Jim-jam?" He asked, switching the water off so he could see him. 

There was a moment of silence, and some shuffling, "Nothing... I just... I just don't want to be alone... I um... I called Richard to come over, but I just... Shit... Just forget it... never mind..." He stuttered out, his voice shaking and growing quieter. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and got out, wrapping a towel around his waist and unlocked the door. The smaller man looked up at him, his eyes red and puffy. "Shower with me..." He spoke softly, holding a hand out to him, and Jim shook his head again. "Jimmy..." 

"I said no, Sebastian!" He snapped, and pulled on the hem of his shirt. He looked down and stared at his hands. "I look disgusting." He whispered. 

Sebastian pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his forehead. "I don't care how you look, Jim-jam. I think you look great." He smiled, wrapping his arms around his waist. He shook his head and looked down at himself, the horrible images flashing in front of him. The bruises on his skin and the cuts littering his whole body. 

Sebastian picked him up, pulling him into the bathroom and kicking the door shut behind them. "You're perfect, boss." He whispered, kissing his neck. Jim tilted his head to the side, and the larger man bit him gently. "I don't care about the marks covering your skin, I love you." He smiled, and sucked on the skin, leaving behind a bright red mark. 

"Sebastian... please don't..." He whispered, as he pushed him up against the wall of the shower, pulling off the jacket and throwing it on the ground. 

"Shut up, James... I love you. I'm not lying. I'm not like the others. I love you." He mumbled, punctuating each sentence with another kiss, or bite, or mark. Jim moaned quietly and wrapped his legs around his waist as he pulled the shirt off him. "Just say no, and I'll stop." He spoke quietly, kissing along his collar bone. 

He turned the shower on again, throwing the shirt and towel on the floor and pulled him into a rough kiss. Sebastian smirked as Jim gasped at the sudden cascade of water, the slight burn relaxing him as Sebastian began to kiss down his neck again, grabbing a bottle of shower gel. "You're beautiful, Jim-jam." He whispered, teasing his entrance. 

Jim whined, barely noticing what Sebastian was saying, and kissed him again. "Get on with it, Moran." He breathed out, his voice deep and accent thick already. His eyes were bright and full of life, and Sebastian couldn't remember a time that they'd ever looked more beautiful. 

The colonel couldn't deny him anything, he never could; and not just because he signs his pay cheques. "Anything you want, Jim." He nodded, and slowly pushed one finger in. The moans coming from the smaller man as he began to ride his fingers, sent all of Sebastian's blood rushing to his cock. He started to become slightly light headed, and desperate for Jim. 

Jim threw his head back, his lips parted slightly and eyes falling closed. "Moran... please..." He whispered after a few more minutes, all insecurities lost to the pleasure. The thought of his scars and bruises fading away into nothing more than a distant memory. His nails digging into his shoulders and the water pouring over him going ignored. 

Sebastian couldn't keep his eyes off him, the way his back arched off the wall and his lips parted. "Did the great Moriarty, just beg?" He smirked, biting down on his neck as Jim was about to protest, a moan escaping his lips instead. 

"Feck... Sebastian... please... Need you..." He stuttered out. 

Sebastian could only comply, feeling just as desperate as the shorter man and carefully pulled his fingers out. Jim whined and gripped his waist tighter between his legs. The sniper kissed him again and he slowly lowered the man onto his cock, his hands holding his hips, massaging small circles into the skin with his thumbs. 

Jim didn't try and hide his pleasure, moaning loud and already bucking his hips slightly. There had been times when Sebastian had thought about this, standing alone in the shower. Times he thought that he was out of luck. He'd never thought Jim would be so vocal, he also didn't think he'd be one to beg, and especially never thought he'd enjoy being fucked. He wouldn't change him though. He liked this. 

Especially since Jim was currently kissing his neck and chest, biting and sucking at the skin every so often. He snapped his hips harshly, careful not to hurt him. "Fucking beautiful, Jim..." He panted, catching his lips in another kiss and biting his lip. 

"Jimmy?!" Another voice called from the other side of the house. They both froze, trying to catch their breath. 

"Richard?" He called back, trying -and failing- to keep his voice steady. "Slightly busy right now! Do you mind coming back later?" Richard walked through the house, stopping outside of the bathroom and leaning against the door frame. 

Sebastian smirked as he snapped his hips, and Jim tried his hardest to bite back a moan, his nails digging into the snipers shoulders. "Can't do that, Jimmy. Need to talk to you." He sighed, unaware of the situation on the other side of the door. His arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed as he held back tears. 

"Richard, I'm really busy right now... Are you sure it can't wait? I've got someone over." He groaned, as Sebastian began to stroke his cock. He bit down on his lip and arched his back, pressing his chest against the snipers. He tried to glare, but there was no threat in it, his eyes full of lust instead. 

"Oh... um... okay... I'll talk to you later then... I've got to... um..." The younger twin began to cry and slowly sank down the wall, his head in his hands as a loud sob racked through his chest. "Please, Jimmy... I don't know who else to turn to..." 

"Alright, Richard... I'll be right out, go wait in my office okay? I promise I'll be right there." He sighed, and gave Sebastian an apologetic look. They could hear as Richard padded off to the office on the other side of the house and quickly got off of each other, getting washed quickly, before Jim got out. "I'll make it up to you later." He whispered, and kissed his cheek. 

"I hope so... Go see what your brother wants. I'll make it seem like there was someone else here." He nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. 

He left the bathroom, getting dressed before going to find Richard, who was curled up on the couch in the office. His eyes were red and puffy as if he'd been crying all night, and his hands were shaking. He was paler than usual and looked like he hadn't slept in a couple of days. 

He sat beside him, pulling him into a tight hug like the younger man had done so many times before. He didn't dare to ask any questions, or say anything in fear of making things worse, and so just held him as he cried into his chest. 

The younger man seemed to cry for hours, his whole body shaking with each sob. He couldn't seem to get the words out to tell him what was wrong, and every time he tried the crying got worse. Jim felt helpless. Eventually though, he fell asleep, falling limp in Jim's arms. "My darling, bunny... I'll fix it..." He whispered, and carefully managed to pick him up, carrying him through to his bedroom. 

He sat on the edge of the bed, watching as he slept and playing with his hair. His heart broke looking at how bad Richard had become. He'd only seen him a week ago, maybe even less, and he'd fallen apart. If he hadn't been so busy with Sebastian! 

"James? You in here?" The familiar voice of the colonel spoke from behind the door. "Severin's on the phone... He needs to talk to you..." He sighed, opening the door. He looked just as bad as Richard did suddenly, his usual bright blue eyes, dull and full of sadness. 

He took the phone from him and held it to his ear, continuing to run his fingers through Richard's hair. "Severin?" He spoke quietly, hoping not to wake his brother. 

"Hi, James... Sebastian said Richard's there, is he okay? Physically I mean..." His voice was wavering and he could hear that he'd been crying as well. Anger boiled up in his stomach at the thought that maybe Severin had hurt him. He quickly checked his brother over, his arms, thighs, stomach and chest, to find that there were no marks anywhere. 

"He's okay, he's fallen asleep... hasn't said anything to me since he got her a couple hours ago..." 

There was a pause and Jim grew more nervous as he waited for the younger Moran to speak again. "I'm on my way... I'd rather not tell you what happened over the phone... Sebastian doesn't know yet, he's just aware of the situation. I'll be ten minutes." He spoke quickly and hung up. 

He put the phone on the bedside table, and lay beside his brother, holding him close to his chest. "I'll make it better, Richard... I'll do everything I can." He whispered, and Sebastian sat beside them both, his hand resting on Jim's shoulder. He wasn't going to take the news so well...


	13. Destroyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim finds out whats wrong with Richard and falls apart. Sebastian's thinking with his cock and manages to make him smile eventually.

Severin and Jim were sat on the couch. Richard in the bedroom, still asleep, and Sebastian in the kitchen making tea. No one had said anything since Severin had got there half an hour ago, and it was driving Jim insane. He needed to know what was going on with Richard. He was desperate to help his brother.

Different scenarios ran wild in his head, was Richard sick? Hurt? In danger? Is he doing something he shouldn't be? Did Severin have something to do with it?

“Jim...” Severin started once Sebastian had returned, setting a tea tray down on the coffee table, and sitting across from them. “It's Layla.” He spoke without emotion, in an attempt to actually get the words out. His whole mindset reverting back to what the army had instilled in him.

He could see the pain in Severin's eyes. He'd been a father to the girl since she was born, he cared about her as if she was his own. He loved her. Jim didn't care about that though. This was his niece. His biological niece. 

Jim gripped the tea cup tighter, almost snapping it in half as his mind ran through every possible scenario. The horrible situations that she could be in, who could have taken her, what are they doing to her? Everything was bad and everything was painful. “She's sick.” He spoke up, cutting through his thoughts again and everything seemed to freeze. He couldn't fix that.

“What... What's wrong with her?” he asked, his voice quiet and accent lost. Everything seemed to slow down and he could feel gravity pulling him down, his whole body heavy under the weight of it, as if it was trying to crush him. His limbs felt like lead and his mouth went dry.

Sebastian looked at the two men, his eyes filled with fear and pain as he saw Jim's disguise slip away. He was no longer Moriarty the criminal, but James the uncle with a heart of gold. His eyes filling with tears that he tried desperately to blink away. 

“Cancer, Jim...” Severin's voice broke, despite trying to keep his mind in military mode, as Jim had come to call it. “She's got tumours covering her whole body... We took her to the doctors a few days ago, she had been really tired and weak and we figured she might have caught a cold or something...” He continued.

Jim put the cup down and nodded, looking towards Sebastian. The Colonel sat beside him, pulling him into a tight hug. “Don't go crazy... Please... Not today. Not while they're here.” He spoke softly, and Jim nodded, his face hidden in the soldiers chest.

How didn't he notice when she was here?! How didn't he see something was wrong?! He was usually so much more observant, so how did he miss this? 

He gripped Sebastian's shirt tight in his fist, keeping him as close as possible and he tried to keep himself from flipping. The snipers hand rubbing his back gently. 

Severin watched them both, wishing Richard was there. Hoping he would wake up so he too could be comforted, even if he had to be strong for Richard... he knew that the younger man just being there was enough.

Time seemed to drag, almost as if it was slipping away. The three men watching as the tea went cold. Everything seemed so dull, grey. Even Sebastian could feel the effects it was having on Jim. The way his breathing evened out so calmly, his eyes focused on the single tea cup and his whole body just fell limp. 

“Jimmy?” A soft voice spoke up from his bedroom, as Richard appeared in the door way. The older twin looked up at him and nodded, holding his hand out to him as he walked over. Richard sat beside him, curled up to his own soldier. “Can you fix it... Please fix it... Please...” He whispered, as he began to cry again.

Jim bit his lip, the pain he was feeling was nothing compared to Richard. It was horrible, terrifying. It made him think of all the times Richard had watched him fall apart, the times he spent in the shower crying as Richard washed his cuts. The times he curled up in bed with him and sobbed, both in pain and fear.

“Anything you need, Richard... Anything at all...” He nodded, holding his hand and forcing a small smile. “We'll help you however we can.” His voice wavered and the two Moran's became nervous. They'd never seen the twins so broken, espcially Jim. 

Sebastian watched him closely, his hand resting on his waist, more to keep him from going insane than comfort. “We're here for you Richard.” Sebastian nodded, and Jim smiled at him a little, his eyes showing how close he was to falling apart. The only thing that had been keeping him sane was being taken away from him. No cure, no way to save her. Just able to give her a little more time, but she'd be in pain.

The game could wait. He didn't need the game right now. He needed to protect his family. Holmes were nothing to him anymore, he didn't care about them. 

No one spoke again after that, just sat in silence, comforting each other. Their bodies pressed close together as they attempted to pull themselves together. The Moran's both comforting their boyfriends, holding them until they had calmed themselves down. “Come on, Richard... We need to go pick Layla up from daycare...” Severin spoke after a while.

Richard didn't say anything and nodded as he stood up, before they both looked at Jim and Sebastian. For the first time noticing their positions. “Are you two...?” Richard asked quietly, raising an eyebrow to them both. A faint smile appearing, sending relief flooding through Jim's body as he saw it.

Jim nodded, taking Sebastian's hand in his own. “We owe you fifty pounds...” Sebastian mumbled, as he kissed Jim's shoulder, catching his gaze on the large hand shaped bruise around the criminals neck. His heart broke as he saw it, knowing he hadn't been able to stop it happening. Jim got hurt...

“We're just glad you're happy.” Richard spoke as they walked towards the door, pulling his coat on. “Don't hurt him... You know what happens if you do...” He sighed. Jim laughed a little, as Sebastian went to clear everyone's cups away, not wanting to deal with one of Jim's tantrums today.

James pulled his twin into a tight hug, both of them using the other for strength. Neither of them wanting to let go, and Severin could see how much they meant to each other. How much Jim really did care about Richard despite his rage. 

"I love you, Richy... I'll try and fix it... I'll try..." he whispered, and both Severin and Richard couldn't believe what they had heard. It was rare for Jim to say he loved someone, it was rare for Jim to show any emotions at all since the Moran's had entered his life. Especially without Layla around. They both decided to ignore it though.

Eventually they pulled apart from each other, Sebastian now stood beside his own twin. "We'll drop by soon. I promise."

“Take care of each other. We'll drop by soon.” Severin forced a smile at his own twin and held the door open for Richard, wrapping an arm around his waist as they walked away from the house.

The two criminals watched as they walked away, before slowly going back inside. 

Jim shut the door behind them, resting his forehead against it and took a deep breath. “Seb...” He spoke quietly, his voice breaking, as the Colonel's arms wrapped around him, pulling him back towards the couch.

“It's okay, James... Don't speak, just cry... Don't flip or anything... Please... Just let yourself be emotional...” He whispered as they both lay on the couch, Sebastian's arms wrapping around him tighter.

"I can't fix it, Seb... I can't fix this... Layla's going to suffer, and Richard's going to suffer... And I can't fix it... I can't..." he whispered, gripping his shirt again and curling up to him as much as possible.

Jim hid his face in his chest, clinging tightly to him. He didn't care about his reputation at this point. He didn't want anything else, right now, all he wanted was his Colonel. His Colonel with his bright blue eyes and strong arms wrapped around him. He finally broke, as Sebastian kissed his head, tears falling hot and fast down his cheeks. His shoulders shaking as he heaved for breath.

“It's okay, Jim-jam... It's okay...” Sebastian cooed, playing with his hair, “This will all be fine... You'll get through this...” He spoke and Jim was grateful he wasn't giving him false hope. He knew if something happened that Sebastian would help him through it. He knew he'd be okay. He also knew that there was a very slim chance that Layla would make it through this alive... and he hated that. She would have to suffer for what could be months or even years, and she still might not make it. 

Sebastian sighed as he held onto the mastermind, his heart breaking at the sudden change in his boss. The way his whole body fell limp and his eyes fluttered shut in a way that made him look almost innocent. Broken. “Jimmy?” He whispered after he thought the man had stopped crying, only to find that he'd fallen asleep.

His breathing evened out and Sebastian finally let himself feel. His heart broke and he could feel his own tears falling down his cheeks. He hated the thought of Jim being so broken. 

He held him tightly, his arms squeezing him against his chest, until eventually the soldier fell asleep too. 

\---

Sebastian woke up a several hours later, Jim's head resting against his shoulder. He couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his lips as he looked down at him. The man looked adorable. The way his body relaxed and his face smoothed out, the usual frown lines disappearing and making him look younger. His lips parted slightly, the soft pink skin covering them standing out against the harsh pale. His dark hair wild over the Colonel's shoulder and making him look paler again.

Sebastian found him beautiful, and he hated the thought of anyone hurting him. Each bruise and scar only made him look more precious. His arms wrapped around him again as he slowly picked him up, careful not to disturb him, and carried him into his room. 

Everything was clean. There was nothing on the floor or the bed that shouldn't be there, the dressing table was neatly organised and the wardrobe was always perfect. Organised by colour and type of clothes. Suits first, then pants, ties, jackets, pyjamas, jeans, shirts, shoes, costumes. It had to be that way, 'That's the order you would put them on.' Jim argued when he had asked about it.

He lay the smaller man down on the bed, and went into the wardrobe. He sighed as he searched through the clothes. He pulled out a pair of silk pyjamas, a bright red with white stitching. He never understood how he could sleep in such things, especially with silk sheets. He did enjoy imagineing how many times the man had slipped off the bed in the night, though.

  
“James...” He whispered, knowing he wouldn't like to be asleep as he changed him. He shook him gently, once back beside the bed, and kissed his forehead. “James, wake up...”

“Hm? What...?” He mumbled, still half asleep as he opened his eyes and yawned. He looked up at him, those large eyes that Sebastian loved, staring straight up into his. The dark brown mixing with the black of his pupils.

“Gonna get you changed okay? Then you can go back asleep.” He smiled kindly and ran his hand through Jim's hair.

Jim nodded and shut his eyes again, and Sebastian sighed as he started to get him undressed. He carefully pulled his trousers down, kissing down his thighs and legs. “It's gonna be okay, Jimmy.” He spoke softly, kissing each scar and mark on his hips as he removed his shirt. “You're going to be okay, because you're James Moriarty and you always are.”

“Sebastian... Will you stay in here with me? Tonight?” He asked shyly, his cheeks turning a very slight shade of pink that if Sebastian didn't know better, would have thought was just his imagination.

“Of course, Jim-Jam... I'll stay with you as long as you need.” He nodded, as he got him to sit up, so he could put the pyjama shirt on him. Jim smiled a little as he lay back down, his head sinking in the goose feather pillows that he insisted on having.

“Even if I want you to stay forever?” He asked, and Sebastian moved to kiss him, cupping his face in his hands.

“Then I'll stay forever.” He smiled, “I'm not going to leave you Jim, not for anything, unless you tell me to. I'm yours forever.” He moved back down and pulled the pyjama pants onto him.

“Thank you...” Jim mumbled, as he crawled under the covers, pulling the blanket up under his chin. “I want you to stay forever...” He whispered, before he fell back asleep. Sebastian smiled and sat beside him, playing with his hair for a little while before he left the room.

Sebastian sat down to watch a football match, his team wasn't playing and he was barely concentrating on what was happening. Eventually he gave up completely and decided to work out, heading towards the gym that had been built specifically for him -although he was convinced Jim just liked watching him.

He spent a few hours working out, loosing sense of time and just continuing until he felt light headed, having forgotten to take a bottle of water with him. He sighed as he walked through the house, looking in on Jim as he walked past.

The sniper couldn't help but smile as he saw him lying there, the innocence on his face. He had to stop himself from kissing him, or joining him in the bed. Jim would not appreciate being covered in Sebastian's sweat, and he needed to sleep. So the sniper simply closed the door and wandered off to the bathroom.

He didn't bother to lock the door in case Jim woke up, leaving his clothes on the floor as he stepped into the shower. He took his time to wash, his mind wandering to the dark corners it usually would when he was alone, only now he could modify the thoughts, make them more life like.

He thought about Jim, the way his skin felt against his, how it was mostly soft with slight raises where each scar was placed. The silk like skin on his lips as he pressed them against his. How thin the man was, the way his hip bones would jut out slightly. The almost feminine curves of his body, and how blissful he looked as he moaned and whined. How he would pull him closer and arch his back.

The images darted through Sebastian's mind, and he began to wonder how Jim would look tied down, gagged, caged, handcuffed, over the couch, over his desk, in front of an audience. Then his mind wandered to their first time, how Jim must have stretched himself, the way his slender fingers would look as he worked himself open. His mouth falling open as he moaned, staring up at Sebastian.

Sebastian couldn't help himself as he wrapped his hand around himself, the quiet moans that escaped his lips, from the slow strokes. He prayed he wouldn't wake Jim, but with every image that flashed before his eyes, his moans got louder. He rested one arm on the wall in front of him, biting down on it in an attempt to stay quiet.

Images of Jim in harnesses and collars, the thought of him pulling on the ropes and begging him. It made him feel guilty, thinking like this while Jim was falling apart. He couldn't stop himself though, when there was a knock on the door. “Seb?”

“Uh... Ye-Yeah?” He stuttered out, as he suddenly froze, his eyes wide as he looked at the bathroom door.

“I don't mind you wanking in my bathroom, but can you stop moaning my name... I thought something might have happened.” He laughed, but it was broken, almost forced.

“Sorry, Jim-jam...” He spoke softly, as the door opened, “Coming to join me?”

“No... I just don't want to be alone.” He mumbled, sitting on the floor with his back to the door. Sebastian smiled at him, his eyes going soft as he looked over at him. “What were you thinking about?”

“You...” He laughed, and Jim gave him an unamused look. “Tied up and gagged.” He added.

Jim laughed, “Have you got a filthy mind, Sebastian?” He asked quietly. The sniper couldn't help but smile as Jim slowly started to relax and come back into himself.

“Maybe I just want to be in charge for once.” He shrugged as he looked down at him, raising an eyebrow. Jim smiled a little and shook his head, bringing his knees up to his chest. “I think you'd look adorable, get you a little collar and a harness. Tie you up and gag you so I don't have to hear how 'bored' you are.”

Jim rolled his eyes, “You'd miss my voice too much.” He smirked as he smiled at him. His eyes gleamed a little though and he couldn't hide his interest from Sebastian. They both knew the man liked to be stripped of his power, he just wouldn't admit it. “You gonna finish yourself off, or are you too shy to now?” He laughed as he stood up.

“Why, do you want to watch?” He smirked, switching the water off.

“Maybe I do.” He nodded, “It's only fair. I gave you a show once.”

“You were fucking crazy, and you only did it so I'd let you out of the basement.” He argued as he stepped out, standing in front of him.  
“It was your idea to watch porn with the microphone on.” He laughed, stepping back a little to avoid getting wet, but Sebastian grabbed his wrist and pulled him to his chest. “Seb!” He yelped.

“You told me not to.” He shrugged and kissed his neck gently as he held onto him tighter. “So, obviously I had to.”

“Yes, well... You enjoyed the show. I could hear you in the bathroom when I went to bed.” He whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his back. “It was quite entertaining for me then, too.”

“Bed. Now.” Sebastian commanded, purposely adopting his military persona. He was in charge tonight. Jim was not winning this game... although Sebastian had the feeling he already had.

Jim smirked as he left the room, the sniper following him close behind. He didn't want sex, he just wanted his mind to shut up, to shut off completely and let him relax. He knew Sebastian wouldn't let him drink, and if he did, he wouldn't let him get black out drunk like he used to. So he would settle for this... and it was definietly more fun.


	14. Mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings aren't always as bad as you'd think at the Moran/Moriarty residence.

There was something different about Jim. The slow breathing, the way his body swayed as Sebastian held him up. His beautiful eyes clouded in lust and staring down at him. Sebastian held his waist, pressing gentle kisses over his neck. He slowly moved his hands up, the silk of the pyjama's helping them to glide over his sides. He started undoing the buttons, popping each one out, and trailing kisses down his chest. 

Jim shrugged off the pyjama top, and Sebastian picked him up, carrying him over to the bed and laying him down. His breathing was slow and he could feel himself slipping away, all his worries, his cares, the insecurities. Something about Sebastian Moran made the world stop, made existence... almost bearable. 

Sebastian crawled on top of the smaller man, biting his neck again as Jim's fingers tangled into his hair, his other arm wrapping around his waist. "Sebastian..." He whispered. The sniper looked up at him, his bright blue eyes staring down at him. 

"I love you..." He whispered, biting his lip. "Everything will soon be okay." He smiled a little as he wrapped his arms around him. Jim smiled, placing his hand on the snipers face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Sebastian could feel how Jim had relaxed, the way his body would move slowly with Sebastian's. 

\---

They curled up together, covered in sweat, their bodies pressed up against each other. Sebastian's chest to Jim's back, his arms around his waist and their legs tangled together. Both of them breathing heavily, but completely content with everything. Their minds empty and their hearts pounding, every inch of their being handed over to one another. 

Sebastian could feel every doubt he had suddenly disappear, his heart filled with joy and hope and love. Three things that he had never felt before, three things that he would -quite possibly- never feel again. He could feel as Jim's mind shut off, the silence that fell over them both. The way his body moulded against his, and fit so perfectly. 

"Jim-jam..." He whispered after a moment, kissing his cheek. "I love you." 

"I love you too, Basher..." He smiled a little, so faint that he would have missed it, had he not been studying his face. The way his eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, his nose would twitch every time he kissed his neck. How his eyebrows furrowed as he pulled him closer. He could see the way his lips curled every time he showed him a bit of affection. 

The sniper held him tightly, almost as if he was trying to put all of Jim's pieces back together. Wishing and wanting to fix him, to rid him of the insecurities he felt, the disgust he felt for himself. He just wanted to make him okay, to fix everything so he could see Jim smile and laugh, but actually mean it. The way he would on the rare occasions they would go out together, the way he would laugh as others screamed on theme part rides, and how much he loved haunted houses'. The way his eyes would light up as Sebastian handed him a bag of candyfloss already having eaten the pink half that he knew Jim hated.  

The criminal mastermind slowly started to slip, his eyes falling shut and his breathing evened out. Sebastian's arms tightened around him again. "I love you, James... Sleep well..." He whispered. 

He watched him for a moment, stroking his hair and smiling. "I love you, James..." He repeated as he buried his face in his neck and closed his eyes. 

\---

Sebastian woke up before Jim like usual, but rather than making him breakfast and tea, he lay holding him. His arms tight around his waist still as Jim slept peacefully. Sebastian still couldn't believe that Jim was his. He couldn't believe he was actually pressed up against him, that he loved him. 

Jim was exhausted his eyes still heavy as he looked up at Sebastian. The light from outside was burning his eyes as he looked up at him. "Not making breakfast this morning, Tiger?" He mumbled and yawned. 

Sebastian could see he was still upset about the previous day, and he couldn't blame him. His niece was dying and there was nothing he could do to fix it. There was no way he would be able to find a cure for it. 

"I'll make it in a moment, just wanted to admire you a little." He smiled, and kissed his forehead. Jim couldn't how much he loved when he would do that. It was something so simple but it made him feel so safe and happy. Appreciated; for lack of a better word. It made him feel like his mind was important and not the ugly mess it really was. 

"Go make breakfast, you've admired me long enough, and I want to get a shower. I feel all disgusting." He laughed, and sat up as he stretched his back, the sound of the bubbles in his cartilage popping and causing Sebastian to shiver. 

"I hate when you do that." He groaned and kissed his hip. James smirked and looked down at him as he cracked his knuckles. Sebastian cringed, his teeth gritting together. "Please stop." He laughed and got up, pulling on a pair of boxers. 

Jim watched him closely, his eyes trailing up and down his body, studying each of his scars. He loved the scars, and he loved how his sniper looked. The muscles and the tattoo, the shape of his arse and the three stripes across his back, crossing over his spine. "Take a picture." The blond man smirked and Jim laughed as he picked his phone up and did just that. 

"How pretty." He laughed and Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I won't show anyone if you pass me my robe." He smiled innocently, his large doe eyes staring up at him. Sebastian nodded, picking up the large, fluffy dressing gown and throwing it at Jim, covering his head as he groaned. 

"How pretty." He smirked and kissed his head as he left the room, "I'll make pancakes, hurry up and get your shower, or you'll be sat at the table, covered in dried cum." He growled. 

Jim couldn't help but smile a little at the way his snipers voice got deeper, his thick cockney accent bleeding through from his days at Eton. "Always so lovely of a morning." He laughed as he wrapped the robe around him and skipped off to the bathroom. 

Unlike Sebastian, when Jim was in the shower his mind shut off. He didn't think about anything, a symptom from when he lived with his father. The shower being his only sanctuary. He could feel his body relax as he stood under the warm spray, his shoulders releasing all the built up tension, his eyes getting more relaxed. He took a deep breath, the steam filling up the bathroom from how hot he had the water set to. 

His skin quickly turned pink, burning a little as he stood there. He hummed softly to himself as he picked up a sponge and his shower gel, frowning as he realised it was empty after yesterdays... events. 

Sighing, he picked up Sebastian's, pulling a face as the strong scent hit him. The horrible scent of aloe vera hitting him. Never the less, he needed to clean himself up. 

"James hurry your arse." Sebastian called from outside the door. He didn't want Jim to be alone for too long, not until he was sure he would be okay. He didn't want to risk anything. Jim groaned. 

"Shut up, you haven't even finished cooking!" He shouted at him and laughed, scrubbing his skin as hard as he could. His skin turning a brighter shade of red. He hissed in pain a little as it began to hurt, but he continued, washing his whole body in the same way. 

He sang to himself quietly, random show tunes and power ballads. He swayed his hips a little as he washed his hair, his arms starting to ache from the amount of work he had put in to getting clean. 

Sebastian waited outside the door, knowing Jim would take a while to get clean. He had seen him after the whores had left their house. The way his skin would glow a bright red when he came out of the bathroom. He never thought he would do it because of him though. He never realised that it wasn't just a thing he did because they were whores. It was an actual thing Jim felt a compulsive need to do after sex, even if it wasn't immediately afterwards. 

He couldn't help but smile as he sang The Phantom Of The Opera. The way his voice sounded was perfect in his opinion. It was different and the slight accent he had when he sang was beautiful. He couldn't help but get lost in his voice as he sang each word. It was quiet and hard to hear over the water, but it was still as beautiful as always and he never wanted to listen to anything else. 

James danced around a little, doing his best to keep himself from slipping over. His hair was washed, his skin cleaned and now he had to shave. He hated shaving with a passion. He had bi-weekly waxing sessions, but he still had to shave his face, a task that he found tedious and boring. He had purposely bought a set of straight razors simply because it made it more interesting. 

"Sebastian, you're still not cooking!" He called, noticing the lack of noise in the kitchen now that he had turned the shower off. He smiled as he heard the footsteps walking away from the door, a little embarrassed that his sniper had probably just heard him singing. 

The sniper hurried away to the kitchen, starting on the pancakes. He knew how much Jim liked them for breakfast, and he was determined to make him eat some. He hated how little he ate on any given day, and had made it his top priority to keep the younger man healthy. Even if he had to force feed him. 

Jim sighed as he carefully shaved his face, ensuring he didn't harm himself. "Jimmy, breakfast is ready!" Sebastian called, as he finished up, making sure to add moisturiser and take his medication before he left the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. 

"I'll be two minutes, just getting dressed!" He called as he stumbled to the bathroom. 

Sebastian stayed in the kitchen, dishing up the food. He'd made a simple Full English, bacon, sausage, toast, eggs, ect. He hated that Jim didn't eat enough, so when he did get the chance to make him something to eat, he made sure to make it filling. 

"Hey, tiger?" Jim spoke quietly as he entered the kitchen, wearing one of Sebastian's jumpers, that went down to his knees. He looked adorable and Sebastian couldn't help but kiss his nose as he handed him the plate of food. "I'm um... I think we should have one of those... Days out... To... Keep busy?" He spoke quietly. 

"Really?" He asked as he followed him to the table, sitting across from each other. "What do you have in mind then?" He smiled. 

"The arcades? They're always fun, and um... we could go the fair." He smiled, which only caused Sebastian's grin to widen. He loved the days he got to spend with Jim, especially when it meant they go to have this much fun! The fair and arcades, Jim's favourite place. 

"Sure. We'll have this, then I'll get dressed and we'll go, yeah?" Jim nodded, obviously excited about their plans. He really did love having fun, innocent fun. 

Sebastian had found out from Richard it was because there was an arcade by their house in Ireland, that Jim would visit often with their mother before things got bad. He always loved the little arcade with the penny games. The Punch and Judy puppet shows were his absoloute favourite, even now the sniper would often find him in the attic playing with the replica puppets Jim had bought years ago. His eyes shining brightly, and a large grin on his face as he moved the arms and reenacted his favourite shows. 

"Sounds good to me." he nodded, and started to eat. He barely touched most of it, but Sebastian was just glad to finally get something into him. He'd just had to force an awful lot of candy down his throat while they were out.

He smiled and nodded, he should be able to keep himself busy enough to not think about Layla all day.

Sebastian could see it though, the slight pain in his eyes, the fear flooding his body and the worry he was drowning in. She might not have been his daughter, but he treated her like she was. He had become a better man for her, and once she was gone... Jim would never be the same. 

He'd never be the man Sebastian loved. He knew he'd never stop loving him though. He'd never stop caring. He'd always have Jim. He just wouldn't be the same, and he had promised himself that he would be there the whole time. Every step of the way. He was his tiger afterall, and he couldn't leave him. Not for anything. 

"I'll pay for dinner tonight. We'll go to that place you like." He spoke as he threw the last of the food in the bin, and placed the dishes in the sink. "We'll need to be back early though, it's bonfire night and I have plans." 

"Is it? Shit... I hadn't realised... I... I um... I'm..." Seb stuttered out, completely terrified as it dawned on him what Bonfire night would men. 

"It's okay, Seb... The basements sound proof, remember? I've already planned everything out." He smiled and stood behind him, his arms wrapping around his neck. 

He nodded, staring at his now empty plate. He hated admitting he suffered from PTSD, he hated that Jim gave up watching the fireworks every year to sit with him in a soundproof room with no windows. He felt awful that Jim lost out on something he loved.


	15. Arcades!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim takes Sebastian to his favourite arcades!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be updating for a short while after this chapter I do apologise

Jim had been giddy the whole journey. He loved having days off. Days to be a kid. This was also one of Sebastian's favourite experiences though. Not even Richard got to see this side of Jim. The side that just wanted to play. The side that loved to just let go.

"Hey, Sebby?" He spoke up from the back seat, his voice slightly higher than usual and his body more relaxed. It was strange seeing him like this, with his 'civilian clothes' on; which consisted of one of Seb's band shirts and a tight pair of jeans. He looked adorable, and Sebastian had to remind himself to look back at the road several times.

Now the shorter man was collecting some change for the both. Jim preferred ticket machines, the awful duck shooting game, dance games, car racing. Sebastian liked the claw machines, penny slots and the donkey races. They had very different tastes, and therefore Jim usually went home with a lot of prizes. He did once win a small stuffed tiger for his sniper though, and although the older man would deny it if you asked, he did sleep with it every night... Until Jim started joining him.

Sebastian loved seeing the smile on Jim's face as he played. The way his eyes would light up and all the pain would be forgotten. The world would just melt away and he would relax. It was like someone else took over his entire body. "Ready, tiger?" Jim asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

The sniper nodded and followed him over to one of the only games they both enjoyed. The horror simulation game. Two guns, many zombies, and it was 4D. They had once spent so long playing it together they didn't get a chance to play anything else, and Jim enjoyed trying to beat his bodyguard.

They slipped into the small carriage and put on the 3D glasses, letting the curtains fall back to block out the light from outside. "Two hundred was it last time?" He asked as Jim entered the money.

"Aiming to beat the high score, tiger?" Jim laughed, as he glanced up at him. They both picked up the plastic guns to the side and braced themselves before hitting _start_.

The game started immediately, a gust of wind hitting them straight in the face as a zombie popped up. Sebastian smirked as he got the first headshot, and Jim kicked him gently. "To your left!" Jim announced as he shot his own zombie, and Sebastian's character spun around to kill the attacking zombie.

Area complete.

The characters ran forward, water spraying at them as they walked past a burst pipe, and the whole carriage shook as a door slammed open. Almost twenty zombies ran at them, and Sebastian saw Jim flinch a little as a zombie appeared in front of him. "Fecking idiot!" He growled as he quickly stabbed two of them, and ran past Sebastian.

"You're just awful at this game." Sebastian smirked, as he stopped a zombie from attacking Jim; who in turn stole the next five kills to prove a point. "Cheat."

"You're just awful at this game." Jim laughed, mimicking Sebastian's voice as best as he could.

They played the game for about an hour before they started shooting at each other instead, quickly turning into a heated make out session. "We should get out of this thing before someone finds us..." Jim panted as he pulled away from the sniper. 

The blond laughed and nodded, "Fine, but you owe me later." He growled in his ear and bit it gently. Jim moaned quietly, nodding his head slowly. "Come on, Jimmy." He smiled as he slipped out of the game booth. 

James took a moment to calm himself, before following Sebastian out, greatful for the low lighting in the arcade as he trailed behind him. "Oh Sebby! Look! Can we!? Please!?" He asked after a moment, when he spotted the ghost train. 

His sniper looked down at him, and shrugged, "Sure." He laughed, seeing how Jim's eyes had suddenly lit up. He couldn't help how much he loved seeing Jim this way, the large smiles and bright eyes. He looked so young, so innocent. 

They made their way over to the ghost train, and paid the small fare, before boarding the ride. Jim knew it wouldn't be scary, he just loved trains, and horror. He loved experiencing his childhood all over again. 

Sebastian wrapped an arm around his shoulders and the smaller man cuddled into his side. "I love you, tiger." He smiled and kissed his cheek as the ride started.

Sebastian hated these rides. The way people would jump out at you in costume, and the screams, the gun shots and manic laughing. It didn't mix well with his PTSD, nor his job of protecting Jim. The second he heard Jim's voice though, he relaxed. Jim knew this wouldn't be easy for him, and he appreciated that he was willing to try, but had also slipped a note to the guy running it when he payed. There would be no gun shots, and people wouldn't get too close. 

As they entered the tunnel, music started to play. Horrible sounds of people laughing as Jim cuddled closer. He wasn't scared, he just wanted his tiger to know how much this meant to him. 

The first person jumped out, staying just out of arms reach. Their face was burned and they screamed as they went past. Jim laughed and smiled, as Sebastian instinctively tightened his grip on the mad man. "BEWARE!!!" The character screamed after them as the ride suddenly stopped and another character ran straight down the line at them. 

His hands were handcuffed behind his back and he had two large cuts on either side of his mouth, before being strung up by the neck. Jim only laughed more as they ride continued. 

The ride moved a little faster as more characters stood on a platform as a fire raged around them, some burned alive and on the ground and Jim's grin widened. "Isn't this great!" He laughed and looked at Sebastian. He was wearing a grin of his own, but had been watching Jim more than paying attention to their current activity. 

As they past the platform another character was thrown in front of the carriage and water sprayed over them as if it were blood. Jim was almost crying with laughter at this point and Sebastian kissed his head. 

The actors continued to run at them and scream, being sure to stay at a distance and Jim continued to laugh and smile. Sebastian's heart filled with love for the smaller man, his arm wrapped securely around his shoulders. If he had known earlier that Jim got such joy from Ghost Trains he'd have had one made in the basement!

The way the mans eyes lit up as each actor played their part, the way his heart jumped and the adrenaline was so obviously coursing through his veins. He looked almost childish and innocent. As if he was never hurt; and Sebastian savoured every moment.

"Thank you, tiger." He grinned when the ride ended, and they got off. Sebastian nodded, and kissed his cheek.

"Its alright, Jimmy." He mumbled, calming his own heart rate as they walked back into the main area of the arcade.

Kids were running around and playing the games as they walked through. Jim slipped his hand into Sebastian's and smiled up at him. "Come on, lets play some games." He laughed.

The sniper smiled at him and nodded, allowing Jim to pull him over to some of the ticket machines. "Will you?" He asked, as he led him to one of the car racing games he loved.

The taller man rolled his eyes and nodded, as he let Jim sit in his lap. Unfortunately Jim was too small to reach the pedals and see the screen in front of him, and so Sebastian would end up with him in his lap, and hitting him to go faster. It wasn't too bad though, he got to hold Jim's waist and have him pressed up against his chest.

He grinned as he hugged Jim's waist and kissed the back of his neck. "You look adorable." He whispered, and Jim elbowed him in the chest.

"Shut up, Seb." He laughed and slipped the coins into the machine, being sure to grind down against Sebastian's groin as he reached over.

"Oi!" He snapped and Jim laughed at him, "None of that. Not in public." He whispered and Jim hit start.

"Which do you think, tiger? The green car? Red?" He asked, and continued to grind his arse against him. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and hugged his waist, "I'm going to pick the red one." He nodded and leaned back against Seb, letting out a quiet moan that only Sebastian could hear over the music.

"Good idea. Now stop grinding against me!" He whispered, and Jim shook his head.

"Nope." He whispered, and kissed his cheek. He turned back to the screen and scrolled through the different destinations, rolling his hips and smirking.

Sebastian groaned and let his hands run over Jim's thighs and brushed against his already hard cock. "You might want to take care of that." He laughed and Jim nodded.

"I am." He whispered and continued to grind against him. Sebastian laughed and tugged on Jim's belt.

"If you can't beat them, join them." He whispered as he undid it, and Jim laughed. Sebastian undid his own jeans and pulled Jim's down so he had access to his hole. "Have you got any lube, kitten?" he asked as Jim finally chose a venue.

"Your inside jacket pocket." He laughed and Sebastian shook his head, realising this was Jim's plan as he found the packet.

"Do you like public sex, Jimmy?" He asked as he realised Jim was wearing a plug as he continued to grind against him. The younger man nodded and hit him to press the accelerator.

Sebastian laughed as he slid it out and covered his own erection in lube, before lowering Jim down onto it, being sure that no one could see them. "Fuck James... You're always so tight..." he moaned and Jim nodded as he bit his lip.

Sebastian grinned as he started to thrust up into him, and somehow keep his foot on the pedal. Jim whimpered as he tried to keep his eyes on the game. "God Seb..." he purred as he focused on driuing the car.

Sebastian laughed, and rolled his hips. "I don't know how you can still play that game... I'd be completely gone if I had someone's cock in my arse."

"Is that an... invitation?" He asked, as Seb bucked his hips, harshly thrusting into him, and causing Jim to cry out.

"Maybe if you're a good boy." He smirked as Jim swung around a corner on his game, bouncing desperately in his lap.

Sebastian's hands rested on his hips, careful to avoid digging his fingers too harshly into the skin. His eyes fluttered closed as Jim sped up, clenching around him as he brought them both closer to their climax.

The colonel moaned quietly, gritting his jaw as he tried to stay quiet. "James... I..." he whispered in his ear, before biting his shoulder gently.

"Don't worry, I can't get pregnant." Jim laughed and rolled his hips. Sebastian nodded, not really registering what his boss had said and focused on each movement the man made. The quiet moans spilling out of Jim's mouth as he tried to control the virtual car as well.

Sebastian's hips bucked again, and he slipped his hand around Jim's waist. His fingers ghosted over his shaft before wrapping around him and moving in time with Jim.

The smaller man let out a gasp and a quiet whimper as Sebastian ran his thumb over the head and kissed his cheek. "Don't make too much of a mess." He whispered, and nibbled his ear lobe.

Jim nodded as his movements became more erratic, and out of rhythm. Sebastian continued bucking his hips, enjoying the quiet squeals that spilled from Jim's lips each time he did until he came inside of him. His eyes closed and hips thrust up into Jim as his free hand gripped his hip tightly. "Shit..." he moaned.

The brunette on his lap laughed a little, thrusting into the bigger mans hand until he spilled over it and simultaneously crossed the finish line. "High... score..." Jim laughed as he fell back against Sebastian's chest, his shoulders heaving as he gasped for breath and recovered.

Sebastian hummed and kissed his neck lazily, wiping his hand on Jim's jumper. "I love you." He mumbled and sucked a small bruise onto the pale skin. Jim couldn't help but grin as he said it, knowing that Sebastian genuinely meant it. He loved him.

"I love you too... But get cleaned up before some kid sees us." He laughed. Sebastian nodded and pulled out of him, replacing the plug and squeezing Jim's arse.

"Let's see if we can get you another doll." He laughed as he heard Jim moan a little. The smaller man stood up, fixing his jeans and hiding the stains under the dull light of the arcade before following his sniper.

•••

They wandered around for a little while until Jim spotted a dance game, pleading with Sebastian to play with him. "I'll literally do anything!" He resorted to after the fifth time of Seb saying no, and 'Go to Hell'.

"Anything?" He asked and raised an eyebrow, as Jim swallowed and nodded his head. "You're cooking tonight." He nodded as he pulled Jim over to the dance game, and the smaller man looked momentarily confused.

He didn't get why Sebastian would want Jim to cook. Usually when he said 'anything' people would ask for sexual favours or money; this wasn't something people asked him for.

He shrugged it off though, and figurd Sebastian was probably just tired of cooking for them both. "What song?" Sebastian asked as he put the money into the machine and looked at James.

"Oh... uh..." he mumbled as he scrolled through the options and settled on the theme song from _'The Breakfast Club'_. Sebastian laughed a little as he saw his choice and kissed his head.

They took their positions and waited for it to load. Both men were competitive and they loved going against each other no matter what it was, and this time Sebastian was going to win. No matter what.

"Hey, hey, hey ,hey" The song started and Jim smirked at his tiger. He knew Seb could dance, but it was rare that he would, and although they had to follow the directions on screen, Sebastian usually made it more fun by making up his own choreography with Jim.

"Won't you come see about me? I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby" They hit each step perfectly, and glanced at each other, eyes narrowed with feigned threats. 

"Tell me your troubles and doubts Giving me everything inside and out" Jim sang along a little as they spun around and swapped sides. 

"and Love's strange so real in the dark Think of the tender things that we were working on" Jim laughed at the lyrics as Sebastian pulled him close, both of them still managing to get a perfect score. 

"Slow change may pull us apart When the light gets into your heart, baby" Sebastian sang as he pushed Jim away and they faced each other. 

"Don't you forget about me." Jim spoke his voice demanding and full of power as he walked around Sebastian and pushed him to the other side. 

"Don't don't don't don't" 

"Don't you forget about me." Sebastian smirked and tapped Jim's head. 

"As you walk on by. Will you call my name? As you walk on by. Will you call my name? When you walk away. Oh will you walk away? Will you walk on by?Come on, call my name. Will you call my name?" They both sang as the somg ended, and Sebastian laughed as Jim ended up panting. They looked back at the screen and Jim had -once again- won. 

"I'm sure you cheat somehow." Sebastian pouted as Jim collected up their tickets and jumped onto Sebastian's back. 

"Nope, just better than you!" He laughed and kissed his cheek as he pointed at the claw machines. "I want a Scooby Doo!" He grinned down at him and Sebastian rolled his eyes, holding his legs around his waist. 

"Fine, but I want a kiss." He argued, and looked up at him. Jim nodded and leaned over him at a slightly awkward angle and kissed his sniper. "One Scooby Doo coming up."

He smiled at him. Jim laughed as Sebastian carried him over, leaving him to rest on his back as he played. 

•••

They stayed at the arcade for another hour, until Jim owned a Scooby Doo doll, a minion, two stuffed black cats, three bottles of bubble liquid and a pikachu hat, simply because he liked the colour. 

Although, eventually he became irritable as he started to get tired. Sebastian picked him up, and carried him out to the car, laying him across the back seat and kissed his forehead.

"Get some sleep, Jimmy. It's a long drive home." He spoke softly as the criminal cuddled up to his many dolls.

"Thank you for this, Seb." He smiled as his eyes fluttered closed, a large smile still playing on his lips. He could live like this. His sniper. Things might finally be looking up; he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, Jimmy." Sebastian smiled as he got into the drivers seat, and started them on their journey home.


	16. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's not human.

The rest of the week passed slowly, and Jim seemed to be in a horrible mood the whole time. He wanted to be alone more often, and Sebastian was sent on more and more jobs. He didn't mind, it meant they were both keeping busy, but then Thursday came, and everything seemed to get worse. 

Jim was smashing things in the living room, while Sebastian sat at the kitchen table staring into his cup of tea. It was the anniversary of his mothers death and he had hoped to spend the day with Severin, but given the circumstances, his plans didn't seem very possible. 

As the sound of smashing glass began to fade though, he could hear Jim's feet crunching over the broken glass, towards the kitchen. He didn't say anything as he pottered around the room, and Sebastian didn't look up from his coffee. This was how things had been all week, and he didn't want to cause Jim to have another tantrum.

"Here..." The criminal spoke softly, as he swapped the now cold cup of coffee, for a fresh one. 

Sebastian looked up at him, both of their eyes red and puffy. It was obvious they had been crying for some time. "Thanks." He mumbled and looked back down. Jim rested his hand on the sniper's shoulder and kissed his head, he'd been so selfish all morning, and had neglected to realise what day it was. 

"I'm sorry... Go see your brother, I'll be fine today." He explained as he turned to get his own cup of coffee. He had to make sure that the sniper didn't remember what he had done. He couldn't take him back to Eurus. He couldn't do that, not again. 

"I'm fine here today, don't worry, Jimmy." He mumbled and sipped his coffee.

"No, Seb, you're not. Please. Just go see your brother. I have plans today anyways, so I won't be home until late. So please go see your brother. I'm sure he needs you too." He sighed and reached over to take his hand. "It'll be okay, Sebastian. Please go." 

He sighed and nodded, as he looked at him. He couldn't say no."Alright. I'll leave in a couple hours." He mumbled, before noticing what he'd said. "Where are you going?"

"I have work to do at the office. Nothing important, I'd just rather get it done." He shrugged, as he sat across from him at the table. Sebastian nodded, and stared down at his coffee again. He could feel how tight his chest was becoming, and there was a lump in his throat as he watched the liquid swirling in the mug.

"I think I'll stay with Severin then if you're going to be late. If that's okay?" He asked quietly, and slowly looked up at him. Jim gave a small smile to him and nodded. 

"That's fine, Seb. I'll call you later okay? I'm going to get dressed, I've got to pick up some books on my way to the office." He mumbled, and stood up again, abandoning the cup of coffee on the table. "See you tomorrow, Sebby." He spoke quietly, and pulled his chin up, and kissed him gently. 

Sebastian felt a little better as Jim kissed him. Knowing that Jim definitely loved him. It made him feel better every time he thought of it. How had he gotten so lucky?

"See you tomorrow, Jimmy." He nodded. He didn't really want to go out, but since Jim wouldn't be home he had no choice. He didn't want to be alone today either. 

He sighed and heard as Jim was shuffling around the living room, probably looking for his shoes. "See you later, Sebby!" He called as he opened the front door a few minutes later. Sebastian didn't say anything else though, and simply continued to stare at his cup of coffee. Today was going to be a long day. 

\---

Jim, on the other hand, had been looking forward to today. Eoin was back in town for a couple of days, and they had arranged to meet up and go out for the night. Jim didn't mind leaving Sebastian with his brother today, he'd probably make him feel worse anyways. He was never very good at sympathy and comforting people. He'd explained that to Eoin the previous night when Seb had gone to bed. He'd been the one to make the plans in an attempt to keep Jim from feeling guilty. 

They'd decided to go out to see a movie and get dinner before they went drinking. This time without anyone passing out in the bathroom. Jim hadn't told Sebastian that he had been talking to Eoin recently, and he didn't really plan to either. He figured the man might get jealous and make him stop, or worse... 

He was't wearing his usual suit, opting for a more casual look. They weren't going anywhere fancy after all. Just a flannel shirt and some black jeans, a simple white shirt with one of the bands Sebastian liked printed on it. He'd also opted for a beanie, since he couldn't gel his hair back. He'd look strange if he had. He felt uncomfortable but figured once he'd met up with his friend, he'd feel a lot better.

He smiled as he walked to the end of the road and found Eoin waiting at the bus stop. They'd agreed to meet there since it was easy for them to get to. He was staying with Ewan so he only had to go a few stop before he got to their meeting place. 

The second the man saw him he ran over, pulling him into a tight hug. "Hey, Jimmy!" He grinned, lifting him off the ground a little. 

James laughed and held onto him to keep from falling, "Hello!" He nodded once he was safely on the ground again. Eoin was wearing a long shirt with the image of a wolf on it, tight black jeans and some boots. He looked good and reminded Jim of the sniper he had left at home. 

Eoin threw an arm around his shoulders, as they walked over to the bus stop he'd previously been leaning on. "How are ya feelin'?" He asked, a sense of concern laced in his voice, "You look exhausted." 

The smaller man shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets. "I'm alright. Just don't feel right leaving Sebastian." He mumbled. He felt comfortable with Eoin. They'd gotten to know each other quite well since they' done out, and he trusted the man with his life. There were things he had told Eoin that even Richard and Sebastian didn't know yet. Eoin had done the same with Jim though.

He couldn't help but love the Irishman. He was adorable, and sweet and Eoin felt good around him. He could be himself. He could do that with his other friends too, but he felt like Jim understood him better. Therefore, he had agreed to keep their friendship secret for now. He knew Sebastian would get jealous. He was protective of his boyfriends, and Eoin didn't want to cause problems between them. 

"So, have you ever been to this place?" He asked Jim as they waited for the bus, deciding it was best to change the subject. Jim shook his head, leaning against Eoin a little. He liked the feeling of having someone close, of someone holding him. "Well it'll be an experience for you." He smiled, noticing how the man had started to get closer. 

Jim hummed and took his hand from his pockets, the few coins for bus fare in hand. It was very common for him to use public transport so he didn't have an Oyster card. So he had to pay for buses and trains if he did decide to use them. Thankfully, he could get a taxi home, or walk. 

As the bus pulled up, the two men paid the fare and sat together at the back. They weren't going far, but they preferred to be out the way of other people.

Jim smiled as he sat beside his friend, who was currently telling him an old story about how he and Sebastian had met. He spoke quickly, talking with his hands and his eyes lighting up with each word. 

"So yeah. He thought I was a prostitute, and a woman. But maybe that was my fault for wearing a short denim skirt." 

The criminal couldn't help but laugh and shake his head, the thought of his sniper trying to flirt with Eoin was amusing. 

"He'll kill me if he finds out you told me that story." He laughed and looked up at him with his large doe eyes. "Though I'm pretty sure he probably thought that about me when we met too." 

Eoin smiled and nodded, urging him to continue. Jim knew he couldn't tell the complete truth, but he could tell him most of what happened. 

"I was drunk, and had gotten into an argument with some guy in an alley way. The guy tried to throw money at me to go away, and Sebastian saw just as he was about punch me. Came and sorted things out, and told me to 'keep safe'." He mumbled and leaned against the man as an older woman sat near them. 

He wasn't so much nervous about being around others, he just didn't want to be too close to anyone he didn't know. "What would you have done if he hadn't got there? A little thing like you! You'd have been killed!" Eoin spoke quickly, his voice full of concern. 

"Not as weak as I look." He smirked, causing Eoin to laugh and shake his head.

"I don't believe you, I could snap you with my little finger." He teased, glancing out the window to check they hadn't missed their stop. "Come on, we're getting off here. You can show me how tough you are when you carry me home tonight."

He smiled and pulled the criminal up, taking his hand as he lead him off the bus. Jim couldn't help but feel overly happy as he held Eoin's hand. 

He knew he loved Sebastian, but the man was amazing. He hadn't felt this happy around someone who wasn't Sebastian, since Sherrinford. Which caused him to panic a little as he pulled his hand away. 

Eoin didn't mention it though. He just looked back at him and smiled. "Come on, round this corner. There's a horror film playing today, if you're into that?"

"I love horror films!" He grinned, relaxing again as he walked beside him. "Let's see it!" 

He grinned and nodded, "I'll pay for the film and sweets, you pay for dinner, and I'll buy the first round of drinks, alright?" 

"Sounds good to me." He nodded and took his hand, pulling him into the theatre. 

It felt strange being there with someone who wasn't Seb. It seemed like a bit of a date, and he felt like if he told Sebastian he'd probably grow jealous. He would probably get jealous if Sebastian had gone out with someone like this. Though in that moment he didn't care. He had a friend. Friends go to the cinema. Friends go to dinner and to get a drink. Friends hugs and hold hands. So in his mind this was normal.

"Okay two tickets for the Stephen King film. Hope you're not scared of clowns, because you will be at the end of this." Eoin grinned, as he returned from the ticket stand. 

Jim smiled and shook his head, following him to buy some popcorn. They decided to get two, one butter and one toffee, since they couldn't decide which flavour they wanted. 

"I'm glad you agreed to come with me," Eoin smiled, leading the way to the theatre room. "I quite like having another Irish man to talk to. Plus it's nice having a friend who wasn't in the army."

The smaller man nodded and threw a piece of popcorn at him, "I think it's nice just having someone who isn't Sebastian..." He mumbled quietly.

Eoin smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder's again, as they made their way to their seat. They were near the centre of the room, and there wasn't really any one near them, thankfully. He was also pretty glad that Eoin wasn't someone who spoke through out the movie, though he did make a few small jokes when he saw Jim was getting a little uncomfortable. 

\---

The movie was decent thankfully, and although they got a few strange and offensive looks as they cuddled up together, they had fun. Dinner was great too, making small talk about their life. Though as they got to the pub, they realised they had probably made a big mistake, as there was Sebastian and Severin, sat at the bar. 

They swallowed and turned to try and leave without them noticing when Sebastian saw them. "James?" He spoke over the music and quiet chatter of people. "Eoin? What are you...?" He trailed off this time, as the two Irishmen walked over to him, a wide grin on their faces. 

"Hey, Sebby!" He smiled and kissed him, "What are you doing here? Thought you didn't drink at Irish bars?" 

The sniper shrugged and wrapped an arm around his waist, the criminal's arms going around his neck. "We needed something a little stronger today. What are you doing here... With Eoin?" 

The taller man smiled, and placed his hands on Jim's shoulders. "I've been working on getting James to enjoy life with other people." He laughed, and Sebastian could feel a twang of jealousy shoot through him.

Jim was smiling though, and that's what mattered. Jim was happy. He was having fun. He had a friend. So Sebastian would stay quiet. He gently kissed Jim's neck and Severin smiled at them, before he was dragged away by Eoin to play a game of pool, leaving Jim and Sebastian on their own. 

"So what have you two done today?" The blond asked, once he'd gotten them both a drink. 

James smiled and picked up his pint, "We saw that new clown film and got something to eat." He mumbled as he sipped the drink. He didn't want to drink too much since Sebastian was here, so he decided he would just drink slowly. 

Sebastian nodded, the jealousy only getting worse. It sounded like a date to him, and he knew how Eoin and James could be when it came with sleeping around. He had witnessed them both bringing home different whores numerous times. There was one time he saw Jim come home with three guys!

Sebastian didn't say anything though, and just downed his drink. "Good to see you're having fun." He mumbled, and kissed his cheek. 

\---

Two hours passed, and Jim was drunk. Severin had gone home an hour ago. Sebastian was sat on the table laughing at God knows what, and Eoin was forcing Jim to dance with him. Sebastian had slowly become less jealous of the two. Though it could have been to do with the amount of alcohol he had consumed. 

They needed to head home soon, before they were too drunk to remember where they lived, but they were enjoying their night out. 

Sebastian got up from the table, stumbling over to the two Irish men, and wrapped his arms around Jim's waist. "Hey, Jimmy." He whispered and kissed his ear. Jim smiled and looked back at him, his eyes lighting up. Sebastian had nerve seen him so happy, and it really helped him to ignore the sadness he had been feeling all day. "We should be heading home, it's getting late."

He pouted and shook his head, "But Seb!" He whined and turned to face him. "Will you read to me if we leave?" He asked softly and leaned his head against his chest. 

"Of course I will, Jimmy. Let's get a cab, yeah? We'll drop Eoin off on our way." He smiled and picked him up.

Eoin followed behind as they left the pub, and held the door open for Sebastian. Jim tended to get tied when he drank too much, and Sebastian could already see his eyes falling closed. 

Eoin sat beside Jim who was between them, and smiled. "You've found yourself a good one, Seb. Keep this one." He laughed, and wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulders. "Otherwise I'll happily take him off your hands." He teased and Sebastian shook his head.

"I'll never give this one up, he's mine for good." He smiled proudly. Eoin nodded, he felt happy for his friend, though a little jealous. He had grown fond of his Irish friend. "I'm glad you're friends with him though, Eoin. He's been alone for so long... It's good he has someone else to talk to."

Jim groaned and hit them both gently, obviously getting agitated as he tried to get to sleep. "Sorry, kitten." He whispered and kissed his head.

They soon stopped outside Ewan's house and Eoin said good night to Sebastian, before hugging Jim. "I'll see you soon, Jim." He smiled, when Jim suddenly kissed him. Sebastian watched, tears forming in his eyes but kept them hidden. 

"Good night, Eoin..." He mumbled and curled up into Sebastian's side. Eoin looked up at Seb, still slightly shocked, but quickly left the cab and ran into Ewan's. 

Sebastian stared at the criminal, wide blue eyes full of heartbreak. Jim seemed oblivious though as he slowly drifted off. They had been together less than a month, and Sebastian figured it was already over... He was about to lose Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick filler chapter to introduce you guys to Eoin properly, he's going to become an important part of the story soon!


	17. Heartbroken

The first week, Sebastian didn't speak to him. It wasn't really unusual for them not to talk much throughout the day, especially when Jim had a busy week. However, when he started to wake up alone he knew something was wrong. And when Sebastian stopped making him dinner, he knew _he_ had done something wrong.

During the second week, Sebastian started to sleeping in his own room again. He refused to sit on the couch with Jim and he started to go out until late. He'd usually be at the pub, and when Jim had tried to join him, he had gotten up and left. He didn't see him for two days. 

The third week, Jim didn't see him at all. He didn't answer his phone. He didn't reply to his texts. The only information he got was a message to say the job was done when he sent him on a hit, and even that was only if he asked for it.

Forth week, Sebastian wasn't even doing his work. He had completely disappeared from Jim's life. He was going to bed alone, he was crying himself to sleep. He wasn't even turning up to the office, spending all his time working from home in his pyjamas.

During the fifth week, Jim moved out. He went to live with Richard. He stayed in the guest room, and took a few of Sebastian's jumpers, wearing them around the house. If anyone asked about the man though... Jim would lock himself away.

Richard had tried to listen to see what Jim did when he locked himself away. He didn't learn anything though. It was silent. As if Jim wasn't even in there.

\---

Richard couldn't believe how heartbroken James had become. He watched as his brother became a sobbing mess of a night, and heard him begging into the phone to know what he had done. His voice cracking and fading as the messages went on. 

Sebastian never answered.

_His number was disconnected a week later._

Severin watched the criminal crumble, his boss becoming little more than a shell of a human being. His eyes became more empty, lifeless and dull. He could see his skin becoming pale again, and his body loosing weight awfully quickly. He worried the man was going to break just holding his tea cup.

Richard would leave him with Lexi through out the day, allowing Jim to spend more and more time with her since he wasn't leaving the house. Richard would go to his auditions, and Severin would do Seb's jobs, before visiting his brother of an evening. 

Jim helped with Lexi's medication, and played games with her. She was the only thing that kept him from completely shutting down. He'd still have a vacant look in his eyes, but he would smile a little and wouldn't dare let Lexi think he wasn't having fun. 

He forced smiles and laughs, throwing himself into their tea parties. Their princess games. Their Lego building. He completely lost himself in their games, a small escape. His own little piece of heaven. 

Which made it all the more worrying, when Richard walked into the house two weeks after Jim had moved in, and found Lexi on her own. She was asleep on the couch, which wasn't unusual for the time of day, but Jim was usually next to her watching tele, or reading.

He walked through to the kitchen, wondering if Jim had gone to make some tea. When he saw he wasn't there he got more worried. He wandered back into the living room and kissed Lexi's forehead. 

He ran a hand through his hair before heading upstairs. Jim wouldn't have left Lexi alone, and there was no evidence of  a break in. 

He sighed as he checked Jim's room to find it empty, and his own. He even checked Lexi's just to be sure. He didn't want to call out to him in case he woke Lexi and he wasn't risking that. It was rare for her to sleep, and he would not wake her up if he could help it. 

He gritted his teeth as he found each room empty, anger boilin up in his stomach. How could Jim just leave her!? Leave his niece and disappear! His sick niece! 

He groaned and decided to head back downstairs when he heard Jim's phone go off... In the bathroom? He walked over and knocked on the door, calling his name. No answer. He called again, only to be met by more silence. 

He sighed and carefully opened the door, to a scene straight out of a horror film. 

Jim was lying in the bathroom, covered in his own blood and vomit. Razors and pills covered the floor, with the shower switched on and pouring down on Jim's fully clothed body. The floor of the shower was bright red, a few areas bubbling and foaming as the pills reacted, and he could see a few razors laying around. 

Richard bit back a scream and began to panic, unsure of what to do. He shut the door, locking it from inside, not wanting to risk Lexi seeing the mess.

He phoned an ambulance and quickly got to work, trying to stop the bleeding. Jim was barely concious, his head falling on his right shoulder, shallow breaths causing his chest to rise and fall. James' eyes were dull and empty, and he could just about make out the tear stains.

"What have you done..." he whispered, and kissed his forehead, "Stay with me, Jimmy. I can't lose you right now. Stay with me." 

He frantically searched for the first aid kit, a few toiletries falling onto the ground. He kicked the items out of the way and fell to his knees beside Jim. "Stay with me, Jimmy. I'm going to fix you up." He mumbled, just barely registering the water burning his skin.

He bandaged his arms as best he could before calling Severin to come and get Lexi. His heart pounding with fear as he thought about losing his twin. He wanted to scream and swap places, take the pain away that Jim was feeling. "I love you, Jimmy... Stay with me."

He didn't care for the mess covering his brother, as he pulled him tight against his chest. His fingers carding through his hair and twirling gently. As they sat in the shower, the water still pouring over them, he started to sing to him. He let his old accent bleed through, as he spoke in Irish.

Jim seemed to respond to the song, tapping his fingers as best he could, against his brothers knee to create a quiet beat. "Stay with me..." he whispered when he heard the sirens from outside and got up to unlock the bathroom door.

He ran downstairs and grabbed Lexi, stopping her from going up and opened the front door. He directed them to Jim quickly, forgetting about the blood and vomit covering himself. It wasn't important right now.

When Severin ran in and saw him he almost screamed, thinking something had happened to Richard. "I'm fine, just get Lexi and go... go to a hotel for the night... Get her stuff and go, okay Rin? I... The bathrooms a mess, don't go in there." He spoke quickly, as he saw the paramedics taking Jim out to the ambulance.

Severin nodded slowly, and Richard ran off to catch up with them, getting in the ambulance to be driven to the hospital.

James was just barely conscious as they sped through the streets, the paramedics already working on getting him to breath more regularly. Richard held his hand tightly, fighting to keep the tears away.

"You can't leave me here, Jimmy. I need you." Richard spoke softly, as he tried to call Sebastian, each of his phone calls being rejected. He text Severin to check in on the sniper, but once again got no reply, only causing him to panic even more.

"Jimmy, I need you to stay awake. Please... We're going to get you patched up." He mumbled and kissed his hand.

Once at the hospital, Jim was taken away and Richard left in the waiting room. He sobbed into his hands as he sat in the chair, and paced up and down. His phone never rang. Sebastian never called back. Neither did Severin.

\---

Two hours passed before Eoin was at the hospital. He had been told of what happened by Sebastian, and immediately made his way back to London. He'd been in Ireland visiting his family, and when Sebastian had informed him of Jim's condition and got a flight straight there.

As he ran into the hospital he spotted Richard, and walked over. He stood in front of him, a little shy suddenly. "Hi? Richard?"

The brunet flinched a little, not realising someone was there, and looked up at the Irishman. "Hello? Do I know you?"

"No... Sorry... I'm Eoin, a friend of Jim's. Sebastian told me what happened. Is he okay?"

The actor shook his head as tears fell down his face. "He's still being treated. He's falling apart though..." He whispered, pushing the palms of his hands into his eyes. This isn't what he needed right now.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault..." he sighed and sat down in the plastic chair. Richard looked at him, peering out behind his hands, and raised an eyebrow. "He... We went out for the day. Got drunk... He kissed me... and I think Sebastian got mad about it."

"Mad? Look at what's happened!!!" He snapped before shaking his head. "Sorry... I'm sorry... I don't mean to snap."

"No, it's okay. You're going through a lot." He sighed and flashed a small smile at him.

Richard stared at the floor, hugging his waist. He felt sick with worry. He wanted to scream and demand andwers. He wanted to both strangle and hug Jim for worrying him, and being so stupid to think Richard was letting him go.

He quietly began to sob, his shoulders shaking and his heart pounding. He gasped for air between broken sobs and ran his hands through his hair. His eyes burned from the tears leaving glistening tracks down his cheeks.

He couldn't lose Jim. Not over this. Not over something so stupid! Something they could fix easily. He knew he was being selfish, but this was his brother, and he would not allow him to die like this. Not now. Not when he needed him.

When a doctor finally came over, Eoin jumped up and demanded answers, leaving Richard to cry.

"Mr. Moriarty is stable. He's doing well, and is awake. We're going to put him on some medication and we'll need to keep an eye on him for a little while. We do believe he's at risk to try again, and we would like to try and-"

"That won't be nessercery. We'll be taking him home at the end of the week." Richard spat, not daring to look up at him. He knew he would start crying again and not be able to get his words out if he did.

"Sir we-"

"He's coming home!" He snapped again and stood up, making his way towards his twins room. The usual room he would get when he was hospitalised.

Eoin ran to catch up, and grabbed the younger twins wrist, pulling him into a tight hug. "It's okay, Richard. Calm down. Don't go in there feeling like this." He whispered, running his fingers through his dark hair and twirling it gently.

Richard nodded and took several deep breaths. His cheeks still stained from tears and his heart felt like it was ripping in two. "I'll be okay..." he whispered, slowly moving away from him, getting closer to the door.


	18. Reasons To Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim admits to the struggles he's going through.

Eoin and Richard slowly made their way to Jim's room, their fingers laced together to show support for one another as Eoin knocked quietly. He didn't want to startle Jim and they weren't sure what state he would be in when they entered the room. They could hear the quiet beeps from the heart monitor as they took a deep breath. 

Opening the door was the hardest part, afraid to see Jim half dead as they walked in, but they were pleasantly surprised to see he looked a lot better... Or at least not as bad as he had when Richard found him. There was no blood or vomit on him and he looked a little less pale. His eyes looked empty though, and he seemed not to notice they had even walked in. Richard figured it was probably due to the medication they had put him on, but it still scared him. 

They two Irishmen walked over and sat on the bed, which caused Jim to startle a little. Richard didn't say anything as Eoin pulled him into a hug and kissed his forehead. "You scared us, Jimmy... Don't ever do that again..." He whispered, his voice breaking as he tried to remain calm and not break down in tears. James was his friend and it hurt him to see him so upset, especially since he was blaming himself for all of this. 

Richard pulled him into a hug next and sobbed into his neck, unable to stop himself. "Why would you do this? I need you... You can't leave me!" He cried, and Jim felt his heart drop as he heard his brother's words. He had never really thought his brother needed him. He always thought that he was the perfect twin who had the family and the job and the perfect life. So those words really made him rethink what he had done, but no matter how much he told himself that Richard needed him, he just couldn't bring himself to regret his actions. 

Jim looked towards Eoin who looked just as heartbroken as Richard did and he couldn't help but think about Seb. The man who was supposed to love him, and care about him. Who was supposed to protect him. WHO WASN'T AT HIS SIDE. He swallowed as Richard pulled away from him, and he wanted to cry at the thought that Sebastian really didn't care about him anymore. That he had done something, and Sebastian now hated him for it. So much he was okay with Jim killing himself. 

He took a deep breath as he looked down at his hands. His throat felt awful after being made to throw up the pills, and his arms were in a lot of pain, but he wasn't allowed too much of the painkillers after his attempt. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he sat there, feeling like a naughty child who had just  been yelled at for pulling his brother's hair. "I just wanted the pain to stop..." 

Both Richard and Eoin lay down on the bed with him after that, their arms wrapped around him in a protective hug, refusing to let go of him for anything. "Talk to us, Jimmy... We can't help you if you don't talk to us." Eoin whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. He needed Sebastian right now, Eoin knew that, but he also knew the colonel wasn't coming, and James desperately needed affection of any kind.

"My head..." Jim blurted out, and they both looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He waited for a little while until he finally spoke up again. "It's loud... It's like all these thoughts swirl around all day, and they don't stop... They just get louder and talk over each other, and interrupt and change, and they never stop. They tell me how I need to run my network, how to deduce people, how to solve a problem, how to do everything and anything. But they tell me all at once, and it hurts..." He whimpered softly as he choked back sobs, and Eoin felt his heart break once again. 

He knew Jim had problems with his mind, that he sometimes got so lost that he had to be physically brought back to the real world. He knew that his head was something he had a lot of difficulty not listening to as well, which sometimes made him insecure and overthink the simplest of things. He didn't really know how to respond though, and so he remained silent, just offering his support with a tighter hug as he rested his head on his shoulder. 

Richard on the other hand, knew exactly what to say. "I'm always here for you, Jimmy... I'll do everything I can to keep your head quiet." He whispered, and Jim felt his heart swell at the thought of his brother offering to help, though he knew the only person who could really keep it quiet, was the one person not here. 

"Thank you..." He whispered back to him, and kissed his cheek gently. He felt tears prick his eyes and he blanked them away quickly before he decided to tell them what had happened. 

He took a deep breath and Richard rested his head on Jim's chest, listening to his heart beat and reassuring himself he hadn't lost his brother. "I... I had been planning this for a long time..." He choked up a little and cleared his throat, shaking his head as Eoin went to speak. "A lot has happened over the years and I always said that I was going to do it... But every time I wanted to, something stopped me. At first it was the thought of Rich becoming my father's... yeah... Then it was the thought of Richard getting blamed for the things I had done... Then it was ma's death and I had to stick around... Then Lexi... Then Seb... Something always stopped me...

"But I... I couldn't do it anymore... Seb doesn't care about me, and... Well I didn't think Rich needed me anymore... And Eoin... I just didn't think you would care... I waited until I knew Lexi wouldn't wake up, and I knew you would find me... I just didn't think I'd still be alive when you did... I just didn't want her to see the mess..." James admitted, and both men started to cry as they listened to him speak.  

Eoin was the first to say something this time, pressing a kiss to his shoulder first. "You're one of my closest friends, Jim. Of course I'd care... I do care... You mean a lot to me." He  sighed, placing a hand on his cheek as he pressed their foreheads together and looked into his eyes. "It doesn't matter how long I've known you, I care. I really do care."

"And I never want to see that again... I've looked after you for years, Jimmy, I'm not going to stop because I started my own family. You're still my brother. I still care. I always will." Richard smiled softly, more to make Jim feel better than anything. 

It was James' turn to cry now, and bit his lip as he looked down. "I'm so sorry... I was being stupid." 

Both of them looked at him and nodded, knowing that Jim didn't use that word about himself so he must have meant it. They all fell into a comfortable silence as they held each other and comforted each other, until Jim eventually fell asleep, cuddled up between them both. He was fairly comfortable between them, and actually felt safe for the first time since Sebastian had left him... 

\---

Colonel Moran on the other hand was doing well... Or at least pretending to himself that he was. He hadn't really expected James to leave him, and the house felt too big. Too empty. He wanted to scream and yell, and destroy everything that reminded him of the Irishman that once lived there, but he knew if he ever did come back that he would not be happy. 

He had started drinking again, and his addiction came back after only a week of being alone. He knew it was his fault that Jim had left. He could have just spoken to him, and sorted everything out simply. He just didn't want to. He wanted James to suffer what he had done to Sebastian. He spent his nights on the floor with a needle in his arm, covered in his own vomit from spending all day drinking. He was a mess, and no one seemed to care about him... Or at least that was how it felt. 

It was Severin who informed him of Jim's situation, and it only made him more angry at himself. He had caused this. He should have spoken to him! He figured that Jim wouldn't want to see him, so he had called Eoin and told him of his current state. Eoin had yelled at him when Sebastian said he wouldn't be visiting him. He called him all sorts of names, and really hurt Seb, but he knew he deserved it. He had caused this. 

\---

It took two days for him to work up the courage to go and see Jim. He had waited until late, after visiting hours, so he knew he would alone, and hopefully sleeping. He just wanted to check he was alive. He was safe. He wanted to be sure he was breathing and that he wasn't too hurt. Though he knew that wouldn't do him much good.  

The room was dark as he walked in, silently making his way to the chair beside the bed. Jim looked peaceful as he slept, his arms above the covers, with clean bandages covering most of his forearms. He looked beautiful in the moonlight, and Sebastian remembered that first night they spent together. He swallowed hard as he saw back in the chair, watching as his chest slowly moved each time he took a breath. He loved the way his eyelashes fluttered slightly every so often, and the way his lips parted slightly. His raven hair covered the white pillows and reminded Seb of ink spilled on a canvas. 

He hesitantly reached out, gently taking Jim's hand in his own and pressed a kiss to each of the knuckles. The heart monitor kept him calm as he focused on the quiet beeping, reminding him that Jim was indeed alive, despite how he looked. His pale skin and shrunken features. He obviously hadn't been looking after himself before all of this, and Sebastian felt sick with the guilt that he had done this to his beloved kitten. He kissed his hand again and breathed slowly, moving to lye behind him. 

He wrapped his arm around Jim's waist, pulling him into his chest, and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "I'm so sorry, kitten. I failed you." He whispered, as he felt him stir. He saw his eyelashes flutter a little more as he gentle moan escaped his lips, and his eyes slowly opened, the dark orbs reflecting in the dim light. 

"Seb?" He whispered feeling a warm body pressed against him. The sniper nodded and kissed his shoulder as he pulled closer again. "You came..." He choked out and relaxed against him once again, and Sebastian thought he had possibly fallen asleep again with how quiet he became, both of them just lying in a comfortable silence and enjoying each other's company. 


End file.
